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Brief unprotected vaginal sex
During a drunken bachelor party at a strip club, a stripper ultimately took out my penis and performed 45 seconds of oral sex. She soon after straddled me and rubbed her breasts in my face. Then, licking her hand and lubricating my penis, she inserted my unprotected penis into her vagina. I immediately began to panic, kinda dumbfounded. She could tell I was freaking out and said that she was HIV negative, and had been tested 3 months prior and had had no intercourse since. I told her to get off and she did-- then swearing on her mother's life that she was telling the truth about her history and testing.
I rushed out and bathed my penis in rubbing alcohol, Dial antibacterial soap and blistering hot water (though I know this does nothing for HIV) I inspected myself very closely for any abrasions, sores, etc.
The result has been several months of intense anxiety and overall fatalist thinking for me. I am terrified I am infected with HIV. Now that 90 days have passed I am planning on getting tested, but frankly, am petrified (hence, my screenname) of getting the news. I should add that I am a fearful neurotic in real life, and I self-diagnose everything on my body as cancer. Doctor, what are my real risks? Is this on par with fear of flying--- dreading something that's REALLY unlikely to happen?
Please help. I am burdened with misery and guilt.
Thank you.
I rushed out and bathed my penis in rubbing alcohol, Dial antibacterial soap and blistering hot water (though I know this does nothing for HIV) I inspected myself very closely for any abrasions, sores, etc.
The result has been several months of intense anxiety and overall fatalist thinking for me. I am terrified I am infected with HIV. Now that 90 days have passed I am planning on getting tested, but frankly, am petrified (hence, my screenname) of getting the news. I should add that I am a fearful neurotic in real life, and I self-diagnose everything on my body as cancer. Doctor, what are my real risks? Is this on par with fear of flying--- dreading something that's REALLY unlikely to happen?
Please help. I am burdened with misery and guilt.
Thank you.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the HIV forum. You can relax: it is exceedingly unlikely you caught HIV and you can expect your test result to be negative.
Assuming you are in the US or other industrialized country, heterosexually transmitted HIV is far more rare than you seem to think. On average, among sexually active women -- including sex workers -- fewer than 1 in 1,000 are infected. And people rarely lie about HIV status, so the odds your stripper/dancer had HIV, given her testimony, is zero or close to it. Further, when a woman has HIV, the transmission risk for a single episode of unprotected vaginal sex averages 1 in 2,000. On those statistics alone, the chance you caught HIV is no higher than 1 in 2 million, and the real risk is probably a hundred times lower than that. In other words, virtually zero risk.
"Is this on par with fear of flying--- dreading something that's REALLY unlikely to happen?" That's exactly right. My guess is you are overreacting largely to the nature of the unexpected sexual encounter -- a case could be made that you were sexually assaulted. Not that I think you could make a legal charge of assault stick -- but it seems to be affecting you that way. If your fears and anxieties persist, especially if they continue after you receive the negative HIV test result, then you might consider counseling about it. But truly there is no significant risk of HIV.
And by the way, if you have an unprotected sexual exposure in the future, lay off the alcohol, hot water, etc. A gentle wash with warm water and mild soap gives maximum protection; irritating things like alcohol actually increase the risk of infection, if exposed to something.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Assuming you are in the US or other industrialized country, heterosexually transmitted HIV is far more rare than you seem to think. On average, among sexually active women -- including sex workers -- fewer than 1 in 1,000 are infected. And people rarely lie about HIV status, so the odds your stripper/dancer had HIV, given her testimony, is zero or close to it. Further, when a woman has HIV, the transmission risk for a single episode of unprotected vaginal sex averages 1 in 2,000. On those statistics alone, the chance you caught HIV is no higher than 1 in 2 million, and the real risk is probably a hundred times lower than that. In other words, virtually zero risk.
"Is this on par with fear of flying--- dreading something that's REALLY unlikely to happen?" That's exactly right. My guess is you are overreacting largely to the nature of the unexpected sexual encounter -- a case could be made that you were sexually assaulted. Not that I think you could make a legal charge of assault stick -- but it seems to be affecting you that way. If your fears and anxieties persist, especially if they continue after you receive the negative HIV test result, then you might consider counseling about it. But truly there is no significant risk of HIV.
And by the way, if you have an unprotected sexual exposure in the future, lay off the alcohol, hot water, etc. A gentle wash with warm water and mild soap gives maximum protection; irritating things like alcohol actually increase the risk of infection, if exposed to something.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
The comments from TaniaParis are technically accurate but, as my comments above suggest, overstate the risk of HIV in this situation. But s/he certainly is correct that you should be tested and not delay because of fear of the result. Anyway, it isn't the test that causes the infection; you have it or you don't. When people are so frightened, even a positive result usually is a relief; knowing the truth is less stressful than worrying about it. (Not that yours will be positive. It won't.)
Feel free to return to post your test result. But I won't have any other comments or advice until then.
Feel free to return to post your test result. But I won't have any other comments or advice until then.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
As my comments suggest, the comments from TaniaParis overstate the risk of HIV. But s/he certainly is correct that you should be tested. The result will be negative and you'll find it a great relief.
Hi Petrified,
- A "risk" exists when your partner is HIV+ ; in your position, you don't know her status
- If she is HIV+, the virus is not transmitted at each intercourse. You should look on the net the figures & probabilities of transmission during oral & vaginal sex
- If the unprotected intercourse lasted a very short time, the risks of transmission are negligable (if she is HIV+)
- So you definitly have to get tested, to be sure. You're probalbly not infected. You will be so reassured... (Cancer is sufficient unto itself ;-))
- A "risk" exists when your partner is HIV+ ; in your position, you don't know her status
- If she is HIV+, the virus is not transmitted at each intercourse. You should look on the net the figures & probabilities of transmission during oral & vaginal sex
- If the unprotected intercourse lasted a very short time, the risks of transmission are negligable (if she is HIV+)
- So you definitly have to get tested, to be sure. You're probalbly not infected. You will be so reassured... (Cancer is sufficient unto itself ;-))
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