Welcome to the forum. I'm happy to help, but don't expect any surprises; you had accurate responses to the same questions on the HIV and STD community forums.
Symptoms never make a difference in assessing the chance someone has HIV. That is because even classical symptoms of new HIV infection (which you don't have) are more commonly caused by other, more common medical conditions -- mostly minor viral infections. The only 3 factors that make a difference in judging HIV risk are the nature of the exposure (vaginal, anal, protected, unprotected, etc); the likelihood someone's partner had HIV, which is very low in heterosexual men and women in most industrialized countries; and test results.
You may or may not have thrush (if not professionally diagnosed, you can't tell on your own). In any case, thrush, as well as things that cause similar symptoms, like garden-variety white-coated tongue, often occur in immunologically normal people. As suggested above, whether or not you have such problems makes no difference in assessing the chance you have HIV. In response to one of your questions: no, ARS symptoms cannot start within 4 days; ~10 days is the minimum. I don't have direct knowledge of HIV epidemiology in Ireland, but I'm pretty sure infection is very rare in non-injection-drug using heterosexual men.
With modern HIV antibody tests, over 95% of infected people are positive within 6 weeks, i.e. at 39 days. So your negative test result is highly reassuring. Whether you "need" a final test at 3 months is up to you. With the negative test results so far plus the nature of the exposure, it is exceedingly unlikely you have HIV. But if you will remain nervous about it despite this reassurance, have another test at 3 months.
Depending on where in Ireland you are, you may have access to a genitourinary medicine clinic. The GUM clinics in the UK and Ireland are among the best STD/HIV clinical services in the world. Consider visiting your local clinic for expert personal assessment. But in the meantime, I see no serious likelihood you have HIV.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Thanks for the "spot on" comment. But it's not exactly difficult to be correct in predicting the outcome for low risk exposures, or for almost all questions on this forum. In the roughly 4 years I have been doing it, there has not been a single case of someone describing a risky exposure who later came up positive for HIV. You weren't likely to be the first.
Happy new year-- HHH, MD
Well just to let you know you I followed your advice and waited a bit longer than 90 days and done a 101 day test and it came back negative thanks for the advise!!
SPOT ON AS ALWAYS.
Thanks
Well I accept I am negative but I thought what the hell just to be sure to be sure I will get it done, I have an appointment Friday week with my Doc who can do the blood test so two birds with one stone. So I wont be near this website again until goggle scares the sh*t out of me again ha. Thanks again for the fantastic information and a great website will post my negative when I get it :)
The 3 month mark is arbitrary. There is no significant difference bewteen 88 days and a full 3 months, since you aren't at signficant risk, didn't need testing anyway, and can already be 100% sure you weren't infected. On the other hand, what's the hurry? Why not wait another week so that you're definitely beyond 3 months?
Whenever you do it, once you get that negative result, you need to accept it and move on.
Thanks for the information fantastic is all I can say just one more thing then. Next Friday will be 88 days since it happened. If I got another test just to be sure and if and when it does come back negative could I consider it conclusive or would I have to wait the full 3 months?
Thanks again for the great information!!