Aa
Complicated and fearful
Hey doctor,
About 15 weeks ago, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea in my penis, at the time I was with a boyfriend who I been together for two months. I'm gay by the way. We always practiced safer sex, condoms for anal, where I was the top, and no condoms when he performed oral on me. However before him I was sort of dating guy#2 where we had sex once and I was the top, I used a condom and lubricant for the anal sex, no condom for recipient oral sex. I’ve always used condoms, and they have never broke, not that I have ever seen. I have always asked my partners for their HIV status, and they all claimed to be negative. But then I was diagnosed with gonorrhea and this completely through me off tracks. When I was diagnosed my boyfriend got a gonorrhea test and came back negative, as well as his HIV test. This was his first HIV test after the last sexual encounter, which was about 2 months mark.I got tested 2 weeks ago at my 12-week period (3months) it was the Oraquick finger *****, and my results came back negative. I was also tested at 6, 8, 10 weeks all negative. At 15 weeks I am experiencing depression and a lot of anxiety over this whole situation. Because when I got tested I kept being reminded that I still had to wait another three months. They say that’s the standard in California. And now I am more nervous, anxious, depressed then ever. I’ve begun to experience soreness under my tow armpits, I don’t feel any swelling, yet it feels sore every time I stretch. I feel achy, nauseous, no energy, fatigued, tight chest, short respiration, muscles are achy, swollen lymph nodes (I think), sore throat, and these symptoms don’t last long, yet they are consistent. I'm fearful. Is my negative 12-week result reliable? What if I caught gonorrhea form the first guy and it took months to show up, and this could also happened with HIV? I’ve always used condoms for anal, could I have contracted gonorrhea from oral sex? Are my symptoms due to my depression and anxiety?
About 15 weeks ago, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea in my penis, at the time I was with a boyfriend who I been together for two months. I'm gay by the way. We always practiced safer sex, condoms for anal, where I was the top, and no condoms when he performed oral on me. However before him I was sort of dating guy#2 where we had sex once and I was the top, I used a condom and lubricant for the anal sex, no condom for recipient oral sex. I’ve always used condoms, and they have never broke, not that I have ever seen. I have always asked my partners for their HIV status, and they all claimed to be negative. But then I was diagnosed with gonorrhea and this completely through me off tracks. When I was diagnosed my boyfriend got a gonorrhea test and came back negative, as well as his HIV test. This was his first HIV test after the last sexual encounter, which was about 2 months mark.I got tested 2 weeks ago at my 12-week period (3months) it was the Oraquick finger *****, and my results came back negative. I was also tested at 6, 8, 10 weeks all negative. At 15 weeks I am experiencing depression and a lot of anxiety over this whole situation. Because when I got tested I kept being reminded that I still had to wait another three months. They say that’s the standard in California. And now I am more nervous, anxious, depressed then ever. I’ve begun to experience soreness under my tow armpits, I don’t feel any swelling, yet it feels sore every time I stretch. I feel achy, nauseous, no energy, fatigued, tight chest, short respiration, muscles are achy, swollen lymph nodes (I think), sore throat, and these symptoms don’t last long, yet they are consistent. I'm fearful. Is my negative 12-week result reliable? What if I caught gonorrhea form the first guy and it took months to show up, and this could also happened with HIV? I’ve always used condoms for anal, could I have contracted gonorrhea from oral sex? Are my symptoms due to my depression and anxiety?
Just to clarify I was always the top and always used condoms, i guess this also puts me at a lower risk.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Relax. Although acquring gonorrhea implies you were at substantial risk for HIV, it sounds like you acquired it by oral sex -- which is very low risk for HIV. (Yes, receiving a ** is a risk for gonorrhea.) It is possible, but statistically unlikely, that the partner who topped you was infected despite having a recent negative test. But the test results are highly reliable, and from that alone you can be confident you didn't catch HIV at that time. Regardless of the "standard in California" (about which I am skeptical), it is almost unheard of for it to take more than 12 weeks for standard HIV antibody tests to become positive.
And your symptoms are meaningless. They don't sound like ARS, and even with classical ARS symptoms, other explanations are much more common (because many garden variety viruses cause identical symptoms). You can ask all the "what if" or "yes but" questions that come to mind now or in the future, and they will mean nothing compared with the negative test results you have had.
Congratulations on your attitudes and approaches to safer sex. But as you have found, sometimes the problem comes from a partner you thought you could trust. Still, most men can predict pretty well whether their partners -- including their steady boyfriends -- are likely to be having other partners or not. Unless you are absolutely certain of a partner's monogamy and negative HIV status, please use condoms consistently for anal sex. It's not as necessary for oral sex, but even that might be a good idea sometimes.
Finally, I'm sure you can rely on the advice you have been getting locally. Follow up with your own counselors and/or health care providers. But truly, you can be confident you didn't catch HIV during the events you describe.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
And your symptoms are meaningless. They don't sound like ARS, and even with classical ARS symptoms, other explanations are much more common (because many garden variety viruses cause identical symptoms). You can ask all the "what if" or "yes but" questions that come to mind now or in the future, and they will mean nothing compared with the negative test results you have had.
Congratulations on your attitudes and approaches to safer sex. But as you have found, sometimes the problem comes from a partner you thought you could trust. Still, most men can predict pretty well whether their partners -- including their steady boyfriends -- are likely to be having other partners or not. Unless you are absolutely certain of a partner's monogamy and negative HIV status, please use condoms consistently for anal sex. It's not as necessary for oral sex, but even that might be a good idea sometimes.
Finally, I'm sure you can rely on the advice you have been getting locally. Follow up with your own counselors and/or health care providers. But truly, you can be confident you didn't catch HIV during the events you describe.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
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