Aa
My fiancé
Dear Doctors
Please help me with my fiancé who is really bothering me a lot, we didn’t have sex yet but we love each others so much and I don’t know his past and honestly I don’t want to know and we are planning to get married this week, he tested once 15 weeks ago and the result was initial positive and he used Rapid test at that time then he test 5 times over this last period using Elisa and the last one was 10 weeks after that initial positive and the follow up results came negative using plus he did Rapid test so many times and the last one done yesterday and came negative, so now he is really afraid of HIV that is why he is doing HIV tests again and again and I told him so many times he is OK as all the follow up tests are negatives but he kept telling me that this is might be an early HIV infection so if he is right about this ??? and if this is HIV early infection why he go the all other tests Negative? He told me that he was reading on the internet that there is a person who is get tested positives and negatives over 4 months and then he became Positive??? But my fiancé got only once HIV positive and all the tests all of them are Negatives and the last one was yesterday.
Please help me with my fiancé who is really bothering me a lot, we didn’t have sex yet but we love each others so much and I don’t know his past and honestly I don’t want to know and we are planning to get married this week, he tested once 15 weeks ago and the result was initial positive and he used Rapid test at that time then he test 5 times over this last period using Elisa and the last one was 10 weeks after that initial positive and the follow up results came negative using plus he did Rapid test so many times and the last one done yesterday and came negative, so now he is really afraid of HIV that is why he is doing HIV tests again and again and I told him so many times he is OK as all the follow up tests are negatives but he kept telling me that this is might be an early HIV infection so if he is right about this ??? and if this is HIV early infection why he go the all other tests Negative? He told me that he was reading on the internet that there is a person who is get tested positives and negatives over 4 months and then he became Positive??? But my fiancé got only once HIV positive and all the tests all of them are Negatives and the last one was yesterday.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It isn't possible to get "full STD tests" and have all results the same day. Probably some results will become available over the next few days. If you need advice on any positive results, I will be happy to comment on it. Otherwise, no more comments on this thread. If you want to continue the discussion with other users, it can be done on one of the community forums.
Dear AlienShadow/Doctor Hunter
Excuse my English but I meant he did the STDs tests for himself only and he did it only to please me. sorry for the misprint .
Excuse my English but I meant he did the STDs tests for himself only and he did it only to please me. sorry for the misprint .
After reading this post I wonder if you are the one who has drove him to test so much? I am not trying to be rude but your last comment he tested just for me..I am shocked that you got all results back for an STD test on the same dayI hope both of you can move on and have a happy marriage.. Now time for those famous words..
Time to Move On!!!!!!
Time to Move On!!!!!!
Thanks for your advise and just to inform you that I have requested him to do full STDs tests yesterday and he did only for me and all the result are negatives but the surprise was my Finance didn't ask the clinic do more HIV test yesterday even he was in the clinic which was a good sign he started to accrued from HIV phobia because he was reading you reply and based on your Grantees that he is clean person from HIV, he does believe and trusted your adivse
Thanks Doctor for the wonderful work you did for us, Have a great day.
Thanks Doctor for the wonderful work you did for us, Have a great day.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
There is absolutely no chance your partner has HIV and therefore no chance he could infect you. You might ask whether he has been tested for other STDs in addition to HIV. Assuming no other STDs, from an infection standpoing there is no reason not to go ahead with the marriage as planned, with unprotected sex.
But maybe this business has taught you things about your fiance's personality, past sex life, or other things that make you question the marriage for those reasons. But that's up to you. This isn't a relationship counseling service and I'll have no coments about it.
That will have to end this thread. Best wishes.
But maybe this business has taught you things about your fiance's personality, past sex life, or other things that make you question the marriage for those reasons. But that's up to you. This isn't a relationship counseling service and I'll have no coments about it.
That will have to end this thread. Best wishes.
Dear Doctor
Thank you for your advise, I did show him your reply yesterday and he became more nervous then we he went again to do another HIV test ( he paid for the test from his pocket) and he promised me this will be the last one, He did ELISA and he refused to do the Rapid test based on your advise, the result came Negative, and now is 15 weeks after his High risk exposure which he already shared with as he told me that he want me to be clear with his past, I tried to avoid listing to him but he insisted, he told me that he doesn’t want to hide anything from me about his past, I felt that he calmed down after telling me about his last high risk exposure, so doctor honestly speaking I got worried about myself now and after hearing about his last exposure so do think I should processed with our Marriage and is my Future Husband is 100% OK from HIV, so we can have unprotected sex from day 1 or shell use condom for a period of time and then he should get tested again?
Thank you for your advise, I did show him your reply yesterday and he became more nervous then we he went again to do another HIV test ( he paid for the test from his pocket) and he promised me this will be the last one, He did ELISA and he refused to do the Rapid test based on your advise, the result came Negative, and now is 15 weeks after his High risk exposure which he already shared with as he told me that he want me to be clear with his past, I tried to avoid listing to him but he insisted, he told me that he doesn’t want to hide anything from me about his past, I felt that he calmed down after telling me about his last high risk exposure, so doctor honestly speaking I got worried about myself now and after hearing about his last exposure so do think I should processed with our Marriage and is my Future Husband is 100% OK from HIV, so we can have unprotected sex from day 1 or shell use condom for a period of time and then he should get tested again?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You might clarify with the laboratory exactly what tests they have done. The rapid HIV tests, which give results in 20 minutes, normally are done in doctor's offices. Most laboratories do non-rapid ("lab-based") ELISA tests. However, sometimes even a lab-based test might be done in only an hour while the patient waits for the result.
At this point it doesn't matter whether the first positive result was a false-positive rapid test or a specimen mix-up. The subsequent testing proves your fiance doesn't have HIV.
Having 10 tests is a ridiculous waste of money. If your fiance has been visiting the lab on his own, without advice from a personal health care provider, tell him to stop it and see a doctor or clinic if he remains concerned. The clinic/doctor visit, plus the 2-3 tests required, would have cost a lot less than 10 tests, even if he paid out of pocket without health insurance.
Many people who behave as you describe have rather serious underlying mental health issues -- for your fiance, maybe anxiety or guilt about his past sexual behaviors. It isn't normal to be so resistant to the strong reassurance he has had. Your love and support should help get him past this, but it might not be sufficient and perhaps professional counseling is in order. This is something that a doctor or clinic (but not a lab technician) also could address. I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.
At this point it doesn't matter whether the first positive result was a false-positive rapid test or a specimen mix-up. The subsequent testing proves your fiance doesn't have HIV.
Having 10 tests is a ridiculous waste of money. If your fiance has been visiting the lab on his own, without advice from a personal health care provider, tell him to stop it and see a doctor or clinic if he remains concerned. The clinic/doctor visit, plus the 2-3 tests required, would have cost a lot less than 10 tests, even if he paid out of pocket without health insurance.
Many people who behave as you describe have rather serious underlying mental health issues -- for your fiance, maybe anxiety or guilt about his past sexual behaviors. It isn't normal to be so resistant to the strong reassurance he has had. Your love and support should help get him past this, but it might not be sufficient and perhaps professional counseling is in order. This is something that a doctor or clinic (but not a lab technician) also could address. I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.
Thank you very much Doctor for your reply,
I want to inform you all the tests ( include the Rapid tests) been done in the same Lab. ( this is what did you mean a lab-based test?) and the Lab staff got suprised when he repeated the Rapid test 10 times and all of them Negatives after one 1st one positive and they told that their is abig chance that they the mixed up the samples that is why he got positive that day,
I will show him your responce and I hope this will calm him down.
I want to inform you all the tests ( include the Rapid tests) been done in the same Lab. ( this is what did you mean a lab-based test?) and the Lab staff got suprised when he repeated the Rapid test 10 times and all of them Negatives after one 1st one positive and they told that their is abig chance that they the mixed up the samples that is why he got positive that day,
I will show him your responce and I hope this will calm him down.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
Your fiance is overreacting to an obviously unpleasant but completely harmless situation. The rapid HIV tests sometimes give false positive results. There is no known reason, but it is not due to early HIV infection that is missed by other tests. The multiple additional tests he had after that initial result prove he does not have HIV. He is simply wrong in saying "this might be an early HIV infection". It is not. He should absolutely stop testing and accept that he isn't infected. If he needs another HIV test someday, he should have a lab-based test and not a rapid one; he could have another false positive result that will just freak him out all over again.
Please show your fiance this response. I hope it helps him get over this.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Your fiance is overreacting to an obviously unpleasant but completely harmless situation. The rapid HIV tests sometimes give false positive results. There is no known reason, but it is not due to early HIV infection that is missed by other tests. The multiple additional tests he had after that initial result prove he does not have HIV. He is simply wrong in saying "this might be an early HIV infection". It is not. He should absolutely stop testing and accept that he isn't infected. If he needs another HIV test someday, he should have a lab-based test and not a rapid one; he could have another false positive result that will just freak him out all over again.
Please show your fiance this response. I hope it helps him get over this.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the HIV - Prevention Forum
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
