It's fraustrating to hear that from ignorant fools. I have no respect for doctors who know very little and give wrong information. It just adds more stress to an individual, which ultimately calls for medical attention.
When I was told to test out at 6 months from my high exposure, I wanted to laugh out loud out of pity. Beyond that, I had to hear such nonsense that I could not believe these people consider themselves professional.
It's a shame.
I have called the California Aids Hotline, whose homepage http://www.aidshotline.org/ . It was formed by the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the San Francisco Department of Public Health, and is now contracted under the State of California Health Services Department. I know HIV awareness is a big deal up in the San Francisco area, so I know it would be 110% reliable on giving good information. They also say the 3 month (12 week) window is the time to test, and that's based on research showing no difference in the outcome when testing at 12 weeks and testing afterward. They are very friendly on the line too.
Congratulations VS. I know you had it rough. I remember talking to you a few times. I just wish that hcp's would get their stuff straight before giving out testing advice that might screw with someone psychologically. At this point, I think anxiety can cause as much damage as many diseases. Don't they realize this? Is it just some kind of "scare hiv out of the country" gimmik? Its pure BS that's what it is.
when I explained my risk to my nurse at the labor/delivery unit, she told me the same thing (I had my babies BTW) and over a month earlier my OB told me I didn't need more testing. Since pregnant women have the option of getting tested at L&D, I went ahead and did it since it was almost 4 months since my first exposure. It was negative and though I've been having a low grade fever since I left the hospital I feel a little nervous but I'm trying to rule that out. It's just hard when you go through what I went through these past 4 months.
Yep everyone I talked to was really nice as well. Not like some of the nurses I have dealt with face to face.
Alaska 800-478-AIDSNationwide: 907-276-4880
Arkansas instate 800-364-2437; elsewhere 501-661-2408
California Northern California: 800-367-2437 -- Nationwide: 415-863-2437 -- TTY/TDD: 415-864-6606 Southern California: 800-922-2437 -- Southern California TTY/TDD: 800-553-2437 -- In Los Angeles: 213-876-2437
California Department of Health Office of AIDS (800) 367-AIDS (within Northern California) (800) 922-AIDS (within Southern California) P.O. Box 942732 Sacramento, CA 94234-7320
Colorado 800-252-AIDS -- Denver only: 303-782-5186
Dist. of Columbia 202-332-AIDS -- Within metro DC. & VA: 800-322-7432
Florida 800-352-AIDS -- In Haitian Creole: 800-243-7101 -- In Spanish: 800-545-SIDA
Georgia 800-551-2728 -- Nationwide: 404-876-9944 -- Atlanta: 404-876-9944
Hawaii 808-321-1555 -- Nationwide: 808-922-1313
Illinois 800-243-AIDS -- TTY/TDD: 800-782-0423
Indiana 800-848-AIDS -- TTY/TDD: 800-972-1846
Louisiana instate 800-992-4379; elsewhere 504-944-2437 (TDD 944-2492)
Maine instate 800-851-AIDS; elsewhere 800-775-1267
Maryland 800-638-6252 -- Baltimore: 410-945-AIDS -- In metro DC. & VA: 800-322-7432 -- Hispanic AIDS Hotline: 301-949-0945 -- Baltimore only TTY area: 410-333-2437
Massachusetts 800-235-2331 -- Nationwide: 617-536-7733 -- TTY/TDD: 617-437-1672
Michigan 800-872-AIDS -- Spanish: 800-826-SIDA -- TTY/TDD: 800-332-0849 -- Teen Line: 800-750-TEEN -- Health Care Workers: 800-522-0399
Minnesota 800-248-AIDS -- Nationwide: 612-870-0700
Montana 800-233-6668 -- Eastern Montana AIDS Hotline: 800-675-2437 -- Western Montana AIDS Hotline: 800-663-9002
New Hampshire 800-752-AIDS
New Jersey 800-624-2377 -- TTY/TDD: 201-926-8008
New Mexico 800-545-AIDS
New Orleans 800-992-4379
New York -- In New York: 718-638-2074 -- In New York (counseling): 800-872-2777 (M-F 2-8, Sat/Sun 10-6) -- Taped information, 24 hrs.: 800-541-2437 (counselors: M-F 8-8, Sat/Sun 10-6) -- Treatment information: 800-633-7444 -- In New York: (Spanish): 800-233-7432
GMHC AIDS Hotline: 212-807-6655 (M-F 10-9, Sat 12-3) -- GMHC TDD: 212-645-7470
Long Island AIDS Hotline: 516-385-AIDS (M-F 9-9, tape after hours) -- In Albany: 800-233-SIDA
Long Island People With AIDS Hotline: 516-225-5700
Mothers of PWAs [outside of New York]: 800-828-3280 (available MW+F 2-6)
NY State Gay/Lesbian Task Force AIDS Information HOTLINE: 800-221-7044 [funded by Gay/Lesbian Task Force, New York: (212) 807-6016]
People With AIDS Coalition Hotline: 212-647-1420 (Staffed by HIV+ people)
North Carolina 800-342-AIDS
North Dakota 800-472-2180 -- Nationwide: 701-224-2376
Ohio 800-332-AIDS -- TTY/TDD: 800-332-3889
Oregon 503-223-AIDS -- Within Area codes 503, 206 and 208: 800-777-2437
Pennsylvania 800-662-6080 -- Critical Path AIDS Project Hotline: 215-545-2212 -- 215-463- 7160 (publications orders)
Puerto Rico 800-981-5721 -- Linea de Infor SIDA y Enfermedades de Transmision Sexual -- Nationwide: 809-765-1010
Rhode Island 800-726-3010; Spanish 800-442-7432
South Carolina 800-322-AIDS
South Dakota 800-592-1861
Utah 800-366-AIDS -- Nationwide: 800-487-2100
Virgin Islands 809-773-AIDS
Virginia 800-533-4148 -- Hispanic Line: 800-322-7432
West Virginia 800-642-8244
Wisconsin 414-273-AIDS; 800-334-2437
he cheated again almost a month ago and fortunately for me it was after the last time we were intimate. I just got smart and decided not to have sex with him again until 3 more months (the week before he tested neg. 3 months from the first exposure). He's really getting his act together now which is why I'm choosing to stay. He's being a great day and showing me he wants to make this work. There isn't gonna be a third time though. If there is, it's over. We've sought counseling and he's seeking help since his problem is sex addiction.... Right now I just don't want to go through the same anxiety all over again.
I came accross one of your posts where you said you can't tell your wife about that fling but I really think you should. I know that chances are she'll leave you but if you feel guilty, that will be a huge load off your shoulders regardless of the outcome. I was hurt when my husband admitted to both encounters. The first time he admitted I willingly took a risk but at least I knew what I was getting myself into. The second time, it was the same wa but this time I was able to make a wise decison and I didn't have to worry about him putting me at risk because of the timing to when he admitted to it. Also, if she's willing to stay with you after what happened, you admitting to cheating on her would be the first step to rebuilding your marriage and maybe even making it better and stronger. You said you were a Christian and if this is still haunting you, this is another reason to confess this to her. That's just my 2 cents. It's up to you
I'd confess it to a minister or priest before the wife. But FFP and I have discussed this before. Once, no. Once is a mistake, he's learned from his mistake, she's not at risk b/c he is negative. Life can go on.
More than once does need to be addressed and owned up to. More than once is a symptom of a problem.
that was my 2 cents. you're right, more than once is a symptom of a problem and my husband finally realized he had one, i still believe FFP should confess to clear his conscience, but that's up to him. if it wasn't for my husband working on his problem, i'd be gone. the last woman he had an affair with claimed she tested HIV neg. one month before that episode but neither of us know if she was within the window period so i'm not taking any chances.
I suppose if you got really bored you could call each hotline to see what their opinions are. Though I'd imagine they'd be the same. Ok, I'm joking... don't call them all!
Hey there. Thanks for the suggestion VS, but I can't do that. At this point I don't even know if we will remain together, but I just can't break her heart like that.
Like Peek said, I made a mistake and I know it is one that I will never repeat with anyone.
Have a great day
It's never a good idea to call these help lines for risk assesment and testing info, they aren't any expert but call center executives reading out info from CDC / FDA website (or other sources)
They are only helpful when you'd be wanting to locate a testing center in your locality.