Did an HIV Testing Experiment

[farfromperfect]

Maybe I am a little slow sometimes, but I didn't realize until this morning that each state had a number you could call to answer questions about HIV/AIDS.  Oh well.  So, I decided to pick 5 and call them.  I explained my situation to each of them and told them my test history (1 week, 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 5 months).  Everyone of them told me (in so many words) that I had nothing to worry about and that I had overtested.  

Here is my question.  Aren't these "hotlines" regulated by the same state agencies that govern the state medical clinics?  I would think so, but why are the people on the hotlines giving 3 months as maximum testing times and clinics are scaring people to death with 6 month and 1 year test guidelines?  That's a bunch of ****.  When I go back to the clinic, I am going to take the number for my state and request that the nurse call and ask about testing time frames.  I wouldn't have wasted so much of my life if not for ignorant Doctors and nurses telling me to test out til 6 months.  I don't get it.  

[professionalworrier840]

I tried some of those numbers and they didn't work:(

[mike_no]

Oh yes, I was **** scared, I think I had gotten some bacterial / fungal infection from a colleague of mine (my last sexual event, offcourse protected)

Exactly, thats my point, how would a therapist know what's HIV and moreover they just twist and turn the same word " you are okay" for every thing but there are good therapists, I think, I need to get hold of one.

LOL...I just called them, they told me that there are some unscheduled maintainance at their end and my connection would be restored in the next 4 working hours, lets see now...

[farfromperfect]

Man, sorry to hear about the infection.  I bet that was weak moment.  

Everyone tells me to get mental help too, but everytime I talk to a therapist I just get aggrevated with their ignorance.  The first one I talked to actually told me that "he was under the impression that you had to test out to six months".  What a jack-***!  

We can't be having that with your ISP.  Don't they know there's HIV nuts who need you?  :)

[mike_no]

I know these "whatifs" can make one go paranoid. Yea, I got some mysterious infection all over my body and on the head of my penis, went to the doc, he told me it's nothing but a minor infection, this one really got me worried but when I look at it rationally, I am able to make my self understand that I have my 80 days negative under my belt and find some peace, one of my buddy suggested me to seek mental help and I'm still thinking if I really need it...

No, not really, my ISP sucks, my internet is been off from the last couple of days, I don't even have a back up connection here and connecting through the phone is very expensive but I must tell you refraining from being on this site can really help sometimes.

[mike_no]

I know these "whatifs" can make one go paranoid. Yea, I got some mysterious infection all over my body and on the head of my penis, went to the doc, he told me it's nothing but a minor infection, this one really got me worried but when I look at it rationally, I am able to make my self understand that I have my 80 days negative under my belt and find some peace, one of my buddy suggested me to seek mental help and I'm still thinking if I really need it...

No, not really, my ISP sucks, my internet is been off from the last couple of days, I don't even have a back up connection here and connecting through the phone is very expensive but I must tell you refraining from being on this site can really help sometimes.

[farfromperfect]

Thanks brother, but you know the "what if" demons still surface from time to time.  You been layin low lately.  Are you trying to ween yourself off of this site?  It's addictive isn't it?  

[mike_no]

Oh yes, absolutely, I agree.

Proffesionals who reccomend testing out to 6 months are just beyond time, 3 month's conlusive (Gold standard)

Moreover, the generation of tests used nowadays are awesome, at 3 months they are just fool proof.

Yes, you dodged the bullet, player ;)

[farfromperfect]

I agree with what you are saying Mike, but atleast they are on board with the 3 month testing guidelines.  The issue here is that there are way too  many Doctors and med pros that are scaring the sh!t out of people with 6 month and longer testing reccomendations.  It is comforting to hear people who are obviously taught to give advise more on the conservative side say 3 months is good enough.  

[mike_no]

It's never a good idea to call these help lines for risk assesment and testing info, they aren't any expert but call center executives reading out info from CDC / FDA website (or other sources)

They are only helpful when you'd be wanting to locate a testing center in your locality.

[farfromperfect]

Hey there.  Thanks for the suggestion VS, but I can't do that.  At this point I don't even know if we will remain together, but I just can't break her heart like that.  

Like Peek said, I made a  mistake and I know it is one that I will never repeat with anyone.  

Have a great day

FFP

[OCguy]

I suppose if you got really bored you could call each hotline to see what their opinions are.  Though I'd imagine they'd be the same.  Ok, I'm joking... don't call them all!

[verystressed07]

that was my 2 cents. you're right, more than once is a symptom of a problem and my husband finally realized he had one, i still believe FFP should confess to clear his conscience, but that's up to him. if it wasn't for my husband working on his problem, i'd be gone. the last woman he had an affair with claimed she tested HIV neg. one month before that episode but neither of us know if she was within the window period so i'm not taking any chances.

[peekawho]

I'd confess it to a minister or priest before the wife.  But FFP and I have discussed this before.  Once, no.  Once is a mistake, he's learned from his mistake, she's not at risk b/c he is negative.  Life can go on.

More than once does need to be addressed and owned up to.  More than once is a symptom of a problem.  

[verystressed07]

he cheated again almost a month ago and fortunately for me it was after the last time we were intimate. I just got smart and decided not to have sex with him again until 3 more months (the week before he tested neg. 3 months from the first exposure). He's really getting his act together now which is why I'm choosing to stay. He's being a great day and showing me he wants to make this work. There isn't gonna be a third time though. If there is, it's over. We've sought counseling and he's seeking help since his problem is sex addiction.... Right now I just don't want to go through the same anxiety all over again.

I came accross one of your posts where you said you can't tell your wife about that fling but I really think you should. I know that chances are she'll leave you but if you feel guilty, that will be a huge load off your shoulders regardless of the outcome. I was hurt when my husband admitted to both encounters. The first time he admitted I willingly took a risk but at least I knew what I was getting myself into. The second time, it was the same wa but this time I was able to make a wise decison and I didn't have to worry about him putting me at risk because of the timing to when he admitted to it. Also, if she's willing to stay with you after what happened, you admitting to cheating on her would be the first step to rebuilding your marriage and maybe even making it better and stronger. You said you were a Christian and if this is still haunting you, this is another reason to confess this to her. That's just my 2 cents. It's up to you

[farfromperfect]

Alabama 800-228-0469

Alaska 800-478-AIDSNationwide: 907-276-4880

Arizona 602-420-9396

Arkansas instate 800-364-2437; elsewhere 501-661-2408

California Northern California: 800-367-2437 -- Nationwide: 415-863-2437 -- TTY/TDD: 415-864-6606 Southern California: 800-922-2437 -- Southern California TTY/TDD: 800-553-2437 -- In Los Angeles: 213-876-2437

California Department of Health Office of AIDS (800) 367-AIDS (within Northern California) (800) 922-AIDS (within Southern California) P.O. Box 942732 Sacramento, CA 94234-7320

Colorado 800-252-AIDS -- Denver only: 303-782-5186

Connecticut 800-342-AIDS

Delaware 800-422-0429

Dist. of Columbia 202-332-AIDS -- Within metro DC. & VA: 800-322-7432

Florida 800-352-AIDS -- In Haitian Creole: 800-243-7101 -- In Spanish: 800-545-SIDA


Georgia 800-551-2728 -- Nationwide: 404-876-9944 -- Atlanta: 404-876-9944

Hawaii 808-321-1555 -- Nationwide: 808-922-1313

Idaho 800-677-AIDS

Illinois 800-243-AIDS -- TTY/TDD: 800-782-0423

Indiana 800-848-AIDS -- TTY/TDD: 800-972-1846

Iowa 800-445-AIDS

Kansas 800-232-0040

Kentucky 800-654-AIDS

Louisiana instate 800-992-4379; elsewhere 504-944-2437 (TDD 944-2492)

Maine instate 800-851-AIDS; elsewhere 800-775-1267

Maryland 800-638-6252 -- Baltimore: 410-945-AIDS -- In metro DC. & VA: 800-322-7432 -- Hispanic AIDS Hotline: [phone] -- Baltimore only TTY area: 410-333-2437

Massachusetts 800-235-2331 -- Nationwide: 617-536-7733 -- TTY/TDD: 617-437-1672

Michigan 800-872-AIDS -- Spanish: 800-826-SIDA -- TTY/TDD: 800-332-0849 -- Teen Line: 800-750-TEEN -- Health Care Workers: 800-522-0399

Minnesota 800-248-AIDS -- Nationwide: 612-870-0700

Mississippi 800-826-2961

Missouri 800-533-AIDS

Montana 800-233-6668 -- Eastern Montana AIDS Hotline: [phone] -- Western Montana AIDS Hotline: [phone]

Nebraska 800-782-AIDS

Nevada 800-842-AIDS

New Hampshire 800-752-AIDS

New Jersey 800-624-2377 -- TTY/TDD: 201-926-8008

New Mexico 800-545-AIDS

New Orleans 800-992-4379

New York -- In New York: 718-638-2074 -- In New York (counseling): 800-872-2777 (M-F 2-8, Sat/Sun 10-6) -- Taped information, 24 hrs.: 800-541-2437 (counselors: M-F 8-8, Sat/Sun 10-6) -- Treatment information: 800-633-7444 -- In New York: (Spanish): 800-233-7432

GMHC AIDS Hotline: [phone] (M-F 10-9, Sat 12-3) -- GMHC TDD: 212-645-7470

Long Island AIDS Hotline: 516-385-AIDS (M-F 9-9, tape after hours) -- In Albany: 800-233-SIDA

Long Island People With AIDS Hotline: [phone]

Mothers of PWAs [outside of New York]: 800-828-3280 (available MW+F 2-6)

NY State Gay/Lesbian Task Force AIDS Information HOTLINE: [phone] [funded by Gay/Lesbian Task Force, New York: [phone]]

People With AIDS Coalition Hotline: [phone] (Staffed by HIV+ people)



North Carolina 800-342-AIDS

North Dakota 800-472-2180 -- Nationwide: 701-224-2376

Ohio 800-332-AIDS -- TTY/TDD: 800-332-3889

Oklahoma 800-535-AIDS

Oregon 503-223-AIDS -- Within Area codes 503, 206 and 208: 800-777-2437

Pennsylvania 800-662-6080 -- Critical Path AIDS Project Hotline: [phone] -- 215-463- 7160 (publications orders)

Puerto Rico 800-981-5721 -- Linea de Infor SIDA y Enfermedades de Transmision Sexual -- Nationwide: 809-765-1010

Rhode Island 800-726-3010; Spanish 800-442-7432

South Carolina 800-322-AIDS

South Dakota 800-592-1861

Tennessee 800-525-AIDS

Texas 800-299-AIDS

Utah 800-366-AIDS -- Nationwide: 800-487-2100

Vermont 800-882-AIDS

Virgin Islands 809-773-AIDS

Virginia 800-533-4148 -- Hispanic Line: 800-322-7432

Washington 800-272-AIDS

West Virginia 800-642-8244

Wisconsin 414-273-AIDS; 800-334-2437

Wyoming 800-327-3577

[farfromperfect]

Yep everyone I talked to was really nice as well.  Not like some of the nurses I have dealt with face to face.  

[verystressed07]

when I explained my risk to my nurse at the labor/delivery unit, she told me the same thing (I had my babies BTW) and over a month earlier my OB told me I didn't need more testing. Since pregnant women have the option of getting tested at L&D, I went ahead and did it since it was almost 4 months since my first exposure. It was negative and though I've been having a low grade fever since I left the hospital I feel a little nervous but I'm trying to rule that out. It's just hard when you go through what I went through these past 4 months.

[farfromperfect]

Congratulations VS.  I know you had it rough.  I remember talking to you a few times.  I just wish that hcp's would get their stuff straight before giving out testing advice that might screw with someone psychologically.  At this point, I think anxiety can cause as much damage as many diseases.  Don't they realize this?  Is it just some kind of "scare hiv out of the country" gimmik?  Its pure BS that's what it is.  

[OCguy]

I have called the California Aids Hotline, whose homepage http://www.aidshotline.org/ .    It was formed by the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the San Francisco Department of Public Health, and is now contracted under the State of California Health Services Department.  I know HIV awareness is a big deal up in the San Francisco area, so I know it would be 110% reliable on giving good information.  They also say the 3 month (12 week) window is the time to test, and that's based on research showing no difference in the outcome when testing at 12 weeks and testing afterward.  They are very friendly on the line too.

[nerviouskid]

It's fraustrating to hear that from ignorant fools.  I have no respect for doctors who know very little and give wrong information.  It just adds more stress to an individual, which ultimately calls for medical attention.

When I was told to test out at 6 months from my high exposure, I wanted to laugh out loud out of pity.  Beyond that, I had to hear such nonsense that I could not believe these people consider themselves professional.

It's a shame.