I apologize for putting this on the wrong forum in fact it was an accident. I thank you for your response anyway, and your assessment.
This is the wrong forum for this question, which isn't related to HIV. Even the STD forum is only borderline appropriate, since oral herpes (whether acquired by kissing or less intimate contact) isn't considered an STD.
I'll just say that when a doctor diagnoses oral herpes with sufficient certainty that s/he prescribes Valtrex, most likely the diagnosis is correct. It so, you probably could have caught it either from the kissing event at the strip club or from your regular partner, since she apparently has oral herpes herself. It also is possible you have had oral herpes all along, and this is just a recurrent outbreak -- although that probably is unlikely if you haven't had such problems in the past. Whatever the cause of your oral symptoms, almost certainly herpes is not the cause of the lesion on your thigh. Autoinoculation is uncommon, and it would be especially unlikely while taking Valtrex. But the only way to know for sure is to show the thigh lesion to your doctor. I also doubt your girlfriend's oral cold sore is a new herpes infection, and certainly herpes is not the cause of her other "viral" symptoms.
All these questions are best addressed by your own doctor, who apparently is knowledgeable about herpes. If any doubt continues about the cause of your girlfriend's symptoms, she also should see a health care provider; ideally, both of you should go to the same doctor.
Regards-- HHH, MD