1) I'm not familiar with that particular test. However, every test on the market in the US and western Europe must have regulatory approval, and therefore must be reliable -- otherwise it would not be available.
2) Yes.
You were condom protected for the vaginal sex and apparently for the oral event. Hand-genital contact (masturbation by a partner) is risk free. On top of all that, most likely your commercial partner didn't have HIV, regardless of class status. All the other details you provide make no difference.
The direct answers to your questions are:
1) Quality of erection makes no difference.
2) Probably nobody every got HIV from hand-genital contact, even when sexual secretions were used as lubricant.
3) Overall HIV infection probability zero, for all practical purposes.
4) I never guarantee someone isn't infected, but from the events you describe, I see no significant risk of HIV for your wife.
5) Testing a month after exposure will pick up around 90% of all new HIV infections. That doesn't mean you have a 10% chance of having HIV, though. Since your risk is virtually zero anyway, testing wouldn't make much difference.
But you probably should be tested for peace of mind. For most people in your situation, reassurce by me (or anyone else) usually isn't as helpful as knowing that the test is negative. If that applies to you, go ahead and get tested. Anyway, since presumably you have been sexually active as a single person, testing from time to time (e.g., once a year) makes sense.
Good luck, and best wishes for a happy marriage-- HHH, MD
Thank you very much Dr. Hunter for your promt reply and best wishes.
Your answers have been very helpful and informative. Just to start my marriage with peace of mind and in the best way I will get tested though. Therefore just two last question regarding the test and condom questions that I possed above:
1) I will get test with the "Mirates Home Test" available in the EU (3rd generation) that I described above. Is it really as reliable as the laboratory ones? How good is getting tested at 5 and 1/2 weeks after the event? Just for peace of mind again.
2) So condoms protect 100% even when there is half erection but they still in place? (no brakes, no slipage)
Thank you very much again! I will have no more worries until 5 and half weeks :)