You should immediately plan a lovely dinner out, with flowers and a great bottle of wine, and then resume sex with your wife. You cannot transmit an infection you do not have.
Welcome to the forum. I apologize for a somewhat delayed reply to your question.
As you were informed on the community forum, you had a zero risk exposure with regard to HIV and other STDs. They are not transmitted without direct sexual contact, which you did not have. In other words, whoever said you "cannot any stds this way much lesss hiv" was exactly right. And your symptoms are not at all suggestive of HIV or other STDs. These things do not cause nasal congestion etc. You caught a cold, that's all. To your questions:
1,3,4) No. From the massage parlor events you have described, you are not at risk for any STD, including HIV.
2) Such indirect exposure does not transmit STDs.
You should not be at all worried, and you do not need testing for anything.
HHH, MD
Also to add to e everything I haven't had sex with wife in 10 dats she's asking a lot of questions please help.