Am I at risk, or is my brain playing crazy again?

[logansmom04]

Good evening everyone - I am hoping to get some answers from those I see on here who constantly go above and beyond to help those of us at our wits end :)

I am Kat and I am 35 year old female who has been married for 13 years - we have a 5 year old son :)

In 2004, I found out that my husband had been "unfaithful" to me with an ex-girlfriend.  He states (to this very day) that nothing physical happened, they just talked on the phone and on the internet.  She however, when I called and gave her the good ol' Southern woman scolding, you know the one that is "You stay away from my man!" she says that she screwed him all over my house.  I go the next 3 years manifesting symptoms of HIV in my head, just knowing that I was dying from it - I even posted in Dr. HHH's forum and he said I had no risk exposure, even if this tramp had been positive, which she insisted she wasn't.  Anyway I finally go in 2007 and get tested and it came back negative.  My hubby never got tested because he said since he didn't sleep with her, there was no reason to do it.

2008 comes along and after many many sessions of marriage counseling, the hubby and I are now on an even keel....Life is going great, I have now graduated college, the child is blossoming in a beautiful 2 year old, I land my first "career" job and all is right with the world so I do the one thing that I have always wanted to do: get a tattoo

It's pretty, its on my lower leg and I am just thrilled at giving myself this present, and having the nerve and guts to do it!  

So now here we are, present day and I am freaking out again because of crap that has been going since this March

I broke out in tiny water blisters on my lips in March and again in April - the derm dr confirmed it wasn't herpes, but she doesn't know what they are really, other than cheilitis (something I have read on the net that HIV + people get!)

Then in July, I start getting anal fissures (I know - ewwww! Read about them on the net, because they are to gross to describe!) and I don't mean just 1 - I have at least 2 or 3 at a time (Once again - the net says that multiple ones are a sign of HIV)

So I am growing more and more freakishly insane by the minute and I am worried - truly worried that maybe, just maybe that: A) The hubby IS positive afterall - I just got "lucky" the first 3 years after his infedelity and never caught the virus or B) I got it from the tattoo

-OR- I have finally hit active psychosis

I know this isn't a joking matter, but it is how I cope because if you could feel me shaking right now, you'd swear there was an earthquake going on!  I am so freaked and so worried that I can't function

Are either of my scenarios (A or B) possible?  Or am I just in need of some good, individual counseling or meds?  

Any help would be appreciated -

[logansmom04]

No, I have had the same screen name, but I posted when they had yet to switch to this new forum design - don't know if that had anything to do with it

Anyway - I do not spend a whole lot of time on here, other than the last few days when the problems when my rear flared up

And just because I was negative in 2007, doesn't mean that I am now IF in fact my hubby did catch something from this tramp - we'll never know if he did though because he still refuses to test, stating there is no reason too do so

It is easy and quick to jump on those who come in here with valid concerns, especially those who feel as betrayed and sickened as I do with this entire situation

[LIZZIE LOU]

gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...please do not start trying to assess ppl's risks.

she tested in 2007.

time to move on with your life...a life away from the forum.

[LIZZIE LOU]

you must be using a different screen name (?)  searching your history reveals no post to the expert forum.