I'm neg my man is pos - I have a question

[RedDirtGirl]

As stated in the title I'm in a serodiscordant relationship and I plan to marry my boyfriend. We practice safer sex, always using a condom. He does finger me though and sometimes of course, he has small cuts on his hands. He is on antiretroviral treatment and his viral load is undetectable.

I can't find any statistics on the risks of HIV transmission from the act of a HIV+ man fingering an HIV- woman.

Can anyone help me with this?

[ricky_id]

Please address your concern in a separate thread and there you can attach the link from this thread.

[wantoutofhell]

I feel like getting together a class action lawsuit for what I've read about CA!!!!!!!!

[wantoutofhell]

Also, do you know of any women in my situation?  Feel very alone.

[wantoutofhell]

I can't thank you enough for the clinic information.  I wonder why so many, even online sites, say it's illegal in CA?  This seems like awful discrimination.  Not that there's a good kind.  Are these clinics under the radar??   What would you recommend the best way to contact them? I want to write, but only have the address.  Don't know if there are other business at that location!  Do you know the names?  Again, I'm so so sorry I stupidly didn't read the rules and just pressed click.  I definitely learned a lesson.   I'm endlessly grateful for your knowledge... as I'm sure so many others are as well!  God bless!  :)

[Teak]

It's not illegal to do in California, there is a place in San Diego County
6699 Alvarado Road, #2208
San Diego, CA 92120

and another in

Orange County
12791 Newport Ave., #206
Tustin, CA 92780

[wantoutofhell]

Just re-read my post and felt a bit silly.  Because I said, you are the first person I've MET. Rephrasing here... first woman I've read from ... whom I relate to! :)

[wantoutofhell]

Hi!  I can't tell you what a relief it was to find your post.  I was on this med help for something unrelated to this.  But I thought WTH?  Let my type in something ... and I came across  your post!  You are the first person I've met in the same position that I'm in.  I've google this and everything and it's so hard ... darn near impossible to find anyone in my situation...  I'm aslo HIV negative and my fiancee is HIV +.  His viral load, like your fiancee's,  is also undetectable.  I knew of his condition going in.  Never before I met him, would I've thought I'd ever get involved in such a relationship.  Never though, did I believe I'd love anyone as much as I love him.  I do wish I could stop his condition from entering my brain as much as it does.  But naturally I can't help thinking about it.  I think it's natural, though.  What really breaks my heart is that we'd love to have our own biological children.  I've probably only got a little time left for that as it is.  But to find a place that does "sperm washing" and all of that is extremely difficult in the US.  Not so much in Eurpope, as they're more enlightened in this area. In our state, CA, it's actually ILLEGAL to do.   I just wanted to reach out and say hi!  I don't know if you've met other women in your situation but I've not yet.  Just got on this site,however.  There have to be a lot of us.  It's not something I can share with anyone and that really makes it more difficult.  Just wanted to say hi to another woman brave enough to follow her heart!  God bless you guys!

[regularjoey]

Nobody was ever infected like that, so there is nothing for you to be afraid of.  Usually people in serodiscordant relationships still test couple of times a year - but the way you guys are taking care of yourselves you will never test positive.

[RedDirtGirl]

Thank you both ... I appreciate the input. I figured if there was a risk it was very low, at least without obvious blood present.

My man is very careful regarding transmission risks at all times but I really just needed to put that fear to rest.

[regularjoey]

Yes, fingering poses no risk to you, cuts on hands make no difference here.

[Teak]

Because there isn't a risk.