Im tired of HIV anxiety

[Stupid_in_rio]

Hey Everyone,

Does anyone go to counseling for the fear of HIV?

If so, what is the main reason of the fear?

I am trying to decide if I should go.  I have posted on here and to the doctor; my risks are so low that I should not even be worried about it.  The same incident happen last year and it destroyed me for two months.  Now its going on again, I can't go a day with out thinking of HIV.  Am I just feeling guilt about my sexual behavior behind my girlfriends back?

I drink to much and I live a sexually active life behind my girlfriends back.  I know its wrong.  All of my sexual activities are protected except for the oral which is so extremely low risk.

On top of HIV, I worry about Cancer and Hepatitis.  All whcih relates to death.  

Mostly I am just venting right now but wondering if there are others like me.

This forum has been a great help.

[southernguy911]

What's up!

I too have anxiety about HIV.  I'm just not coming around now. I just ate a full lunch for the first time in weeks! I also used to wake up thinking about HIVHIVHIVHIV! My exposure incident was also "a very low risk." All I can tell you is to put your faith in God and all will be fine.

[Perfectmax]

Hey Guy...  I can relate.  I am going through one of the most difficult times in my life.  I feel like I have had every sypmtom in the book and it causes more and more anxiety.  I am 25 and have done the same thing behind my fiances back.  My issue is that I got drunk and had protected sex with a sex worker but I noticed a cut on a section of my penis that was not covered by the condom.  Needless to say, I have been FREAKING out.  I want to cry but can't, I want to crawl into a hole but cant.  This has really destroyed my last 24 days (hopefully NOT my life).  

I ended up going to a counsler today and it helped for about 1 hour after.  I am getting tested Friday (at 28 days) and then I have to wait a week for the results.  Ahhhh!  and then 6 week test and then 3 month test to be safe.  The waiting is killing me!

My heart goes out to you bro.  I am in the same boat.  I told my Fiance about my insident and our relationship is down the *******. She isn't leaving me (yet) however she doesn't say "I love you" unless i say it first.  I am so sorry for what I have done.  

Sorry for ramblimg.

[Fitt4]

I am in the same boat as well. Male, one-time unprotected sex with female, for about :20. i tested negative at six weeks (44 days)- still trying to debate if i should get tested again??? feel better now, but still have some anxiety...thoughts?

[Perfectmax]

Fitt.  From what everyone states, your 6 week test should be definitive.  Not an expert, but that should be good enough.  I am just trying to make it to my 4 week test.

[Fitt4]

I'm in the same boat too -- can't stop thinking about it - after unprotected sex with a female -- felt like i had all the symptoms -- got tested at just over 6 weeks (44 days) -- came back negative -- now, don't know if i should test again????

[Perfectmax]

Fitt... sounds like you may want to get a 3 month just to easy your fears.  But I would be certain that they Doc would say that you are crazy.

Quote from Doc in another post "I have never heard of someone having an negative 4-6 week result and then having a positive 3-6 month."  

Chill Fitt4...  You are in a good position.

[o_g]

Isn't this an irony - scared of dying but not living. I am in same shoes. I have been thinking about all from hiv to cancer to hep B and what not. I am very exhausted, tired and sick of it all. I have almost stopped communicating with my friends and family. All round the clock, this is all I am thinking about.

[Fitt4]

I hear ya...trying to move on..think i should just get over it...sometimes it just pops up in my head....i'd like to think the 6 week is good..especially with my low risk, or atleast what i think is low risk?

[salesrep2005]

I've had this same anxiety, not sure if it's guilt or what but I go from he HIV to the hepatitis, to the cancer myself. I think the cancer comes from smoking guilt and the HIV/hep from the cheating thing in the past, although I haven't cheated in a long time I still worry about stuff like this WAY too much. Sort of like when you know you are doing something wrong you begin to worry about consequences. I don't know - maybe it's called having a concsious. It really sucks though, very hard to get peace of mind. HIV is hard to catch unless you are shooting drugs or man/man but here we are worrying about it...

[Perfectmax]

0_G...  I thought you tested negative from HIV after 12 weeks?

[o_g]

yes..i did..but can't seem to shake off the fear...Trying with all the help from folks here and my shrink over the phone. Hope u feeling much better. U sounding better for sure...good luck dude

[Stupid_in_rio]

Its amazing.  There are plenty of the posts on here of heterosexual males who have cheated on their girl or wife.  Its amazing how much anxiety HIV can bring.  Last year I battled with an exposure with a sex worker in mexico unprotected with no condem who was on her period.  It was a black out drunk experience which I woke up in the middle of and stopped.  That was well over a year ago and I didnt have a girl then.  I am healthy fromt that incident, Thank God, but it created such an anxiety of HIV for me its not funny.  Now, with my most recent very low close to zero risk incident, Protected vaginal but unprotected oral with sex workers in rio; the anxiety is back but its back because of guilt issues.  I tested negative at 26 days and I am still tinking about it.  

To all the guys who have this anxiety.  Lets hang in there, the chances of getting it through oral or one time exposure are so slim according to the great doc. Lets try to move on but I know its hard.

[Kay-z]

iam in the same boat 2, i had a 5 week hiv test {NEG" iam goin to take the 8 week test nex week, it seems like i have every symptom,i don't kno what i can expect!

[Fitt4]

i felt like i had all symptoms too - my doc said it's all anxiety -- and to chill out - does anyone recommend the 12 week test? or, am i good negative at 6 week days? it was one-time exposure for like :20?

[Fitt4]

i felt like i had all symptoms too - my doc said it's all anxiety -- and to chill out - does anyone recommend the 12 week test? or, am i good negative at 6 week days? it was one-time exposure for like :20?

[Perfectmax]

Hahaha... Fitt4.  I am only laughing because I can relate to your anxiety (an because I need a chuckle).  Anyway, I think your ok with a 6 week bro!  Take a 12 week only to calm your nerves.  The Doc truly stated that he has never seen anyone get tested negative in the 4-6 week and then positive later.  What makes you different?  

But... if your like me, you'll want other opinions.

[southernguy911]

I know I learned a great deal about cheating on my girl with all this HIV anxiety around me but I got a queation.

Would you cheat again? with a sex worker or any woman?

[Fitt4]

never again.
still need to rid myself of this anxiety.
i just need to convince myself of the negative result at 6 weeks!

[Perfectmax]

NEVER, NEVER AGAIN!!!

[southernguy911]

DITTO!!! The upside to this situation is that I'm going to be a much better husband! I just took a break from cooking to read your comments.  I don't want my wife to think I'm cheating because I have the monitor turned completely around and minimize the screen everytime she she gets within 20 feet.

I hope all works out with you guys.

[lexman]

I am freaking out myself people as well. And I had protected sex with an escort a week ago. I just developed all these cold, flue like symptoms few days after. And I do have a sore throat... still.
I can't even sleep anymore. Feel cold all the time, my hands are cold, I think I am loosing wait as well. I am so frustrated.

I am thinking getting this Quantitative Polymerase Chain Reaction (PCR)HIV test, it is expansive but they say can give you a 98% answer even within 72 hours after possible exposure.

What do you guys think?

[Stupid_me]

Me too.  I've had every symptom in the book (flu, aches, pains etc..).  But, had a negative test at 7 weeks that put my mind at rest for about a week!!  I've a week and a day to go until my 3 months test.  So fingers crossed.  Some of the comments from people on here have put my mind and anxiety, about my level of risk, at ease a bit.  I've had the guilt too as I cheated on my wife for the first time in 11 years of marriage.  I'll tell you that I will never ever do that again.  This has been the worst 11 weeks of my life, ever.  Anyway, good luck to everyone in the same boat.

[davemac5252]

same boat as everyone in here but i might have been on a little longer than everyone else 17 months to the day adn tested negative at 16 months. hurry up and get over it dont dwell on it like i am because i can feel myself going crazy.

[Oracio]

Hey I'm glad to see that many of you are going through the same as me. About 2 months ago the person who seemed to be took me to a prostitue who I knew, and I never trusted. At first I did not want to go, but this guy began calling me a ***** and insulting me. Because i was drunk, I said ok. I was so drunk, and I think the condom slipped off from my penis, but I can't even remember it. Right now I've been In such horror of being infected that I start having symtoms. righ now I have a fever that does not go away, and diarrea is present. I can't sleep, and I spend the whole day worried about this, but I have towait until 3 months to have a clear answer. I hope is what some say that it is just my fear, but i just don't know.