Really worried - fingering/open hangnail wound

[bob247]

I had relations with a girl Saturday night who I barely know. It's rare that I do that. We've talked a few times. But I don't know her history.  I now know that she slept with a friend of mine at some point, and he isn't the most careful person, which has me even more worried.

I thought we were just going to have sex (and I always use condoms during sex). However, before we had sex she took my fingers and had me finger her.

Afterwards, I remembered that I had bit off a hangnail on one of the fingers that I used to finger her earlier that day.  Looking at it, it still had the crusted blood on the hangnail wound (where the hangnail used to be). It had probably been many hours since I bit the hangnail, and I don't think it was bleeding anymore, but I'm not completely sure. if it was indeed closed up, it was fairly recently that it had closed up.

The area I'm referring to is where the back of the nail meets the skin in the corner.  It was bleeding in the corner of my nail, but was a few hours earlier so it had some time to heal, but I'm not sure how much it healed.  Furthermore, there was now a hole in between the skin and the nail because I had bitten the skin off...

What are the chances that I can get HIV from her through this hangnail wound? I'm not sure what the chances are that she is HIV+. She claims she got tested recently for everything because she had an IUD put in, but I don't know that for sure because I don't know her well.  I know HIV is common among one night standers...

I also made out with her and she was biting my lip a bit... a little too much for me, and that has me concerned as well.  We had sex and I used  a condom but I started worrying halfway through and got limp... I pulled out, took the condom off I had on, put a new one on (I know you aren't supposed to but the other one was falling off since I went limp), and went back to having sex.

Anyway, I'm super worried about the fingering and kissing.  Chances of HIV?  Is this PEP worthy?

[bob247]

Hi Doc,

She is someone I don't know too well and it was sort of a one night stand which I rarely do.  I could probably still ask her.  In fact, that night I did ask her, and she said she had just gotten an IUD put in a few weeks ago and for that she needed to be tested.  I don't know if that includes HIV, but she was tested.

Thanks for your reply.  The final comments do help.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

This description doesn't change my opinion or advice.  No measurable risk for HIV -- and as I said, it is very unlikely your partner is infected anyway.  But if you still remain concerned, why not ask her if she has been STD/HIV tested recently?  If not, maybe she would agree to have an HIV test now.  You might find she is just as worried about these events as you are.  After all, women are at higher risk for HIV and other STDs from their male partners than men are from women.  Statistically, you are more a risk for her than she is for you.  You could go for testing together, for mutual reassurance.

Truly, I wouldn't worry about this.  You might also be interested to know that in the 7 years of this forum, with an average of 5-6 questions daily, there has never been a user who described an exposure that worried them who then returned to report they had caught HIV.  And that of course includes lots of people with real risks, not trivial risks like yours.  You aren't going to be the first.

[bob247]

Hi Doc - Thanks for your reply.  I promise to not go back and forth and waste your time, so this will be my only reply to your comments.  I assume when you say cut on fingers, etc. that also includes the deep hole left behind when someone bites off a hangnail?  It bleeds, but even when it isn't bleeding, the skin is very loose and there is a large hole in the corner of the nail between the skin and the nail.  My gut feeling was that perhaps that would allow for easier entry of the virus.  However, if you believe that it similar to yet another cut on a finger, then I'm mistaken and more relaxed.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the forum.

Questions about HIV risks from fingering are very common on this forum, many of them connected with finger wounds, cuts, hangnail, etc.  Our responses are always the same:  there has never been a known case of HIV transmission by fingering or any other sort of hand-genital contact.  And since so many people have minor nicks and cuts of the fingers, it is apparent that these things make no significant difference.  A cut probably risks HIV only if large, deep, and actively bleeding.

Second, it is exceedingly unlikely a woman like you describe has HIV.  Heterosexually acquired HIV is a lot less common in women in the US and other industrialized countries than you might assume from the media, health education in school, etc.  The vast majority of infected women are the regular partners (wives etc) of infected men, i.e. regularly and frequenly exposed.  A woman like your partner has under 1 chance in 1,000 of having HIV.

Bottom line:  No risk of HIV at all and no need even for testing, let alone PEP.  Of course you can still get tested if my reassurance doesn't completely settle your fears, i.e. if you will sleep better knowing you have been tested and negative.  But for sure don't seek PEP.  (You probably couldn't find a doctor or clinic willing to prescribe it anyway.)

For more information about fingering etc, just enter "fingering" or "hand-genital" into this forum's search window.  You'll find many (maybe hundreds) of discussions.

Regards--  HHH, MD