high risk hiv infection

[sunnygirl79]

i am a female at very high risk for hiv infection.  high risk being, i had repeated unprotected sex with my boyfriend before we knew he was positive.  looking back, he's figured he became infected before him and i ever hooked up...so i know i am definitely at risk.  i was tested at four weeks, my test came back negative - is it possible i'll remain negative?  

about 3-5 days after the last time we were together, before i knew he was positive i became sick.  i was very tired and had HUGE swollen glands in my neck - so large people could see them.  i was tested for mono, the test was negative.  i can't help but be very worried.  

any reassurance would be helpful.

[thewillisthelasttodie]

any one hear from sunnygirl79 ? again ?

[Xhost]

Sunny,

How did the test go today, and, more importantly, how are you holding up?

[sunnygirl79]

one more thing, i'm already past the six week mark.  i have not been retested as i didn't realize until i read through this forum that the testing was so accurate at six weeks.  right now i'm at nine weeks and was waiting until the 3 month mark - but i think i'll go in tomorrow and get retested.  the thought of this makes me want to throw up, but no matter what happens i will remember everything that's happened here has been a result of my own decisions.  

an excerpt from a book i'm reading...and this is mostly to benefit myself, i'm not preaching to anyone:

we have all made choices.  choices have consequences - that is the first rule of any just morality.  i have made good choices and benefited from them.  i have made bad choices and suffered for it.  all of us have.  we live today in a world in which nobody believes choices should have consequences.  but the great secret that our culture seeks to deny is that you cannot escape the consequences of your choices.  time runs in only one direction.

i will keep you posted.  

[sunnygirl79]

there has been no time in my life where i have felt more anxiety, stress, worry and concern for my health and for the health of others involved.  this is so very scary and i'm disappointed in myself that for all of the years i've been taught about std's, hiv/aids in particular, i didn't pay much attention to it as i've always thought "it'll never happen to me."  in less than an instant, my world has been thrown upside down...i know i am so blessed for all of the good things in my life and i know that God will not give me more than i can handle. with that being said, i still do not know my fate - all i have is the stats you all have given me (which are incredibly reassuring) and a 4 week negative test.

what a life changing event for myself and for all others that have ever been in my shoes.  more than anything, of course, i want that next test result to remain negative - but, i also know that this event will never leave me and i feel like...and this may sound odd, but i feel like i've been given an opportunity to teach others on the subject.  has anyone else ever felt this way?  if so, what have you done to act on that?

[RB888]

Sunny

Based on your timeline - testing negative three weeks or more after you experienced symptoms almost certainly means those symptoms were not related to HIV infection as antibodies should have been detected by the time of your test - as sensitive as they are today.

It is very possible you have avoided infection - HIV is not easily transmitted and if you ex boyfriends viral load is/was very low that is certainly in your favor.

Please keep us posted

RB

[WorriedT]

Let me say first, sorry you find yourself in this situation but also let me stress what others (and they are VERY knowledgeable people) have said that your 4 week negative is very encouraging. Just in answer to a few of your questions about repeated unprotected sex and HIV transmission, the answer is that even in long-term relationships between HIV+ and HIV- partners, heterosexual transmssion rates are relatively low. There are blinded studies from Africa that indicate that there's maybe a 25% chance of transmission over 4 years with the couples on average having unprotected sex twice a week (ie. 400 exposures over 4 years = 25% risk; translating to 1 in 1600 chance from a single exposure).

Like gates85 and Xhost have said, it is actually pretty hard to transmit HIV and therefore keep your spirits up. All my thoughts go with you over the next few weeks. Good luck!

[sunnygirl79]

i guess at this point, it doesn't really matter how the bf became hiv positive...he says he had two one night stands - both with women.  who knows?  i will say that he is uncircumsized so i guess it's possible.  i will also say that he is no longer my bf.  the fact remains that i put myself at risk and now here i am.

your comments have been reassuring...and i have certainly seeked out medical advice from my doctor, she's also contacted the "hiv specialist" but he/she has said until we know if i have it or not, there really isn't much they can do for me.  the bf's viral load was very low (or even undetectable?) so that is reassuring.  but how on earth is it possible to end up negative after repeated unprotected sex like that?  i just don't get it.  it's like if you play with fire, you're going to get burned, right?

obviously, if the bf has it, there's got to be more to the story.

re: the symptoms - i know they really don't mean a thing after all of the comments being posted here.  but, mine didn't occur due to the stress of worry, they were there way before i ever knew the bf was positive.  also, could the hiv websites please remove the "flu like symptoms" or "mono like symptoms" from their websites - they freak people out more than anything.  

[worriedmang]

I can totally understand your anxiety, I had an unprotected possible exposure in a country where 1 in 100 people has h.i.v. (thailand) I tested negative at 1 month and couldn't sleep or anything and i was super depressed. I had all the symptoms, felt like ****, had lymph nodes in my neck, groin and armpit, and i went on to test negative at 2 months and 3 months. Despite what your family doctor probably told you, according to doctor H, who is an h.i.v. EXPERT, not a family physician, he sais that at 1 month the majority of people will test positive. I think he said about 90% which definetly makes the odds in your favor. Also, the subtype of h.i.v. in North America is not as transmissable as asia or africa. Take a deep breath and pray. I hope you will be alright.

[toppatop_gyal]

i have no sort of statistical advice, but hopefully you will be ok seen as the 4 week test was negetive. Because hes hiv pos, definately get one at 6 weeks or 8 weeks or 12.

[gates85]

First of all, let me say that yes it is quite possible that you are negative even after having lots of unprotected sex with your HIV-positive boyfriend, because HIV is a very, very hard virus to transmit. In fact, it is even likely that you were never infected by him, assuming that his viral load was low each time you had sex.

One other thing that I would like to say to you to calm your worries:

Dr.Handsfield over on the Doctor-Patient is one of the foremost experts on HIV in the country, and he says that an HIV-infected person will ALWAYS test positive within two weeks of developing symptoms. Always, meaning every single time. Taking this to be true, and considering that you say you developed symptoms 3-5 days after your final exposure, your 4-week negative test is 100% assurance that you do not have HIV.

Best of luck and you will be in my prayers! I'm sure you will be just fine.

[Xhost]

Well, I do not imagine that it matters much how your boyfriend contracted HIV. The question that you are facing is if you may have contracted it from him. I know how scary all of this must be for you, and I feel for you.

First, the good news is that you have had a 4 week negative test. This is very encouraging. Second, it is not an automatic that you would have contracted HIV from your boyfriend. In fact, the odds are still in your favor that you have not. Third, the fact that you became ill and had enlarged lymph nodes in your neck is not really a good indicator of HIV status. As you probably know, symptoms are a really, really unreliable way to determine one's HIV status. And, just so you know, primary HIV infection will typically present with generalized lymph node enlargement, not localized. In other words, all of your lymph nodes will swell when this symptom presents, not just those, say, in your neck or groin area.

Of course, you know that you will need to continue to test.  I believe that most doctors would want you to test out to 3 months considering the situation. I have a question for you: have you visited a doctor and discussed this with him or her? You may wish to consider visiting with a doctor who is either knowledgeable or specializes in infectious diseases (i.e., HIV). Not, of course, because you have it, but mostly to get good, sound advice on a testing protocol. If you have not, I think that would be a good next step for you.

In the meantime, feel free to hang around here and continue asking questions.

[soconfused1984]

ummm ok, how did your bf become pos??? Was he in injection drug user or was he BI? As far as your risk goes, I would say you seem to be in the clear four weeks is VERY reassuring. You need to test again in two weeks though. Six weeks is the standard window now accepted by most docs (ignore the CDC standards). As far as your symptoms go, I am sure that me and everyone else on this board will tell you that symptoms come and go and they are scary but they are not a good way to diagnose an intitial HIV infection. Best of luck to you.