Reassurance , Help Dr HHH

[chinheeong6183]

Dear Doc,

I have been reading your posts and very thankful for your forum.

I am a 30 yr old man with good business background in Singapore. I am a not a sexually active man. But i need your help and reassurances in some of the Blunders i committed 3 months ago.

1. I went to Massage Parlours in Singapore 3 times in 5 years and had a good massages which were very costly. At the end the Lady would give me a Handjob , In my last encounter my hand accidentally touched her Vagina though i didnot insert my finger  with no cuts on it. and Also she kissed  my chest, hands etc. Is there any HIV risk in this.

2. 3 months ago I visited Thailand and committed a major mistake. I went to Massage Parlour Upon forcing of my customer and had a massage and protected Vaginal Sex with the Thailand CSW. That was my only Protected vaginal sex experience outside my relationship with my wife.  The Condom seemed to be intact and I ejaculated outside her Vagina and the condom seem to hold my sperm at the tip. SO i reckoned the Condom didnot break. I cleaned off and came out. The Massage centre was very costly close to 100 Dollars for an hour. Can you please tell me if i need testing. I am fearing to have any Unprotected Sex with my wife bcos of this reason and this is creating a lot of stress in my relationship with my wife. Should i have sex with her after commiting this mistake

An Re-Assurance and Comment will be Very Helpful Doc.

Thanks So Much !
CH Ong

[chinheeong6183]

Just one more note doc.

As far as ARS goes i had a slight fever/runny nose while travelling back from UAE to Singapore. I reckoned thats a temp difference and got cured in a day(night) with some medications, panadol etc. No symptoms of Herpes, Itching, Rashes, Weight Loss, Lymph Nodes, Nausea etc. were observed.

Thanks Again Doc.

I will abstain from here on. I think my main Pain point is the guilt and anxiety.

[chinheeong6183]

Thanks Doc

Very Helpful

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Microscopic condom leaks are an urban myth.

The Singapore events were zero risk.  Chance your Thai partner had HIV, say 1%.  Chance of transmission if she had it (vaginal sex with condom) 1 in 10,000 (maximum).  Chance you caught HIV but had no symptoms of ARS, 10%. That makes the chance you caught HIV 0.01 x 0.0001 x 0.1 = 0.0000001, or 1 in ten million. Actual risk was lower, since I used high estimates for the first 2 factors. In other words, zero for practical purposes.  (You have a much higher chance of dying in the airplane ride home.)

I already answered about having sex with your wife.

That's all for this thread.

[chinheeong6183]

Thanks Doc for the assurance.

Sorry repeating the Post with an extra Line !!!!!

I need a small favor more , If you had to put my risks quantitatively how do u put it. (Including the risk Thailand CSW had HIV and Also the risk of Condom Failing).

Physically i am sure it DIDNOT fail but some microscopic leaks(wild thoughts !!!! )

I will go for testing after i end my present business travel.

Also until the test results do you think i should have unprotected sex with my wife.

Thanks Doc for your help. GOD Bless you.

CH Ong

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The first exposure carried absolutely no risk.  HIV has never been known to be transmitted by hand-genital contact or the very fleeting vaginal contact you describe.  For purposes of disease transmission, you did not have sex.

The second event also was virtually zero risk, for 2 main reasons:  Currently HIV is uncommon in Thai commercial sex workers, the result of perhaps the most effective national-level HIV prevention/education effort anywhere in the world 10-15 years ago.  Second, transmission through an intact condom is not possible.

Do you need testing for HIV?  From a risk assessment perspective, no.  Your risk was too low.  However, most people in your situation are not entirely reassured by advice like mine and need a negative test to convince themselves they weren't infected.  If that applies to you, go ahead.  This is not "code" to suggest I really believe you were at risk.  I do not.  If I were in your situation, knowing what I know, I would not get tested.  And although I can never guarantee someone isn't infected, I would not hesitate to have unprotected sex with my wife.

I hope this helps.  Best wishes--- HHH, MD