extremely worried, please help me/advice

[karl1dou]

Hi, I am in a very bad situation and i need help. I made a terrible choice 3 and a half weeks ago by engaging in vaginal intercourse with a prostitite. It was protected, because at the end i could see the intact condom with ejaculate. However i did not see her when she was putting the condom on. Neither whether it was a new one. The story wad shelved, till i starzed developing strange symptoms: day 11 sore throat (still ongoing), from day 13 onand off headaches and on and off night sweats, from day 16 i developed very bad neck that got worse and propagated day after day to include shoulders and arms. Thos pain os strange and is the worst i have ever had and i'm currently seeing the doctor for it. He also  classified it as unexplained so far and ordered a variety of blood tests. Today, i am in day 23 and aince yesterday i am having low grade fever 37.2-37.6 celcius. I am extremely worried. I had a flu vaccination and this doesn't sound like flue anyway 

1) could this be ars?
 2) how do you assess my exposure?
 3) what if the prostitute did want to infect me deliberately by for example using an already used contaminated condom? 
4) i would rather get on with my life but the symptoms would not let me. Is my risk low and i do not need testing despite the syptoms? 
5) can i sleep with my wife unprotected? (I know i regret the story so much so and the guilt is killing me) 
6) can anxiety cause low grade fever. I'm thinking of infection and how it is going to change my life and break my family. This suicidal.

Please help me... Karl

[Edward W Hook, MD]

In the future there may be other reasons for you to test.  AT this time there is no medical reason to test.  

These symptoms do not suggest STI.  EWH

[karl1dou]

and also, do these symptoms suggest other STD tests other than HIV? since my doctor cannot identify any conventional viral infection.

[karl1dou]

thanks. one last question though: you're saiyng "It is reasonable for you to not test at this time...", what exactky do you mean by "at this time", because it's too early for a conclusive test, or do you mean regarding this exposure, meaning to forget it an move on, irrelevant of symptoms?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

It is reasonable for you to not test at this time from a medical perspective.  

REgarding deliberate infection, please remember that if she were deliberate efforts by her to infect people, they would ultimately find her and retaliate.  While I do know that there have been instances when uncaring people have infected others, it remains unlikely, partcualrly in the situation you describe. EWB

[karl1dou]

Thank you Dr., for your response.

I thought the same about "everything was protected, no worries", despite my conscience that was putting me down after the encounter. I started to worry and link back to the story as symptoms started to appear. I am other wise very healthy and i rarely get sick. In fact, I am 33 now, and I don't remember me having fever, even low-grade, since i was in university more than 12 years ago. The pain in my shoulders/neck/arms is an experience I have never had before.

If you say, there was no risk, then i would rather not test. Does that sound reasonable? or is that like running away from finding the truth. I'm just scared of false positives.

is deciding not to test, given the circumstances a wise decision. Or do you think the symptoms do call for a need to test in order to eleminate a very very unlikely risk? should i just not relate the encounter to the symptoms despite the perfect timing, and me rarely experiencing health issues?

my comment about "deliberate contamination", was in reference of an article I red about a movement called "pozzing" were people deliberately intend to infect others. In fact I got in contact with the woman in question and asked her if she tested regularely and she replied that she did not see the need why to test because she's otherwise judged by her doctor to be healthy at every check-up visit, and that she has 2 kids...

Thanks for your appreciated comments

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum. I'll be pleased to comment. I think that when you acknowledge the "guilt is killing you" you have identified at least part of the problem.  Guilt can cause problems by itself or amplify the perceived intensity of otherwise minor symptoms.  The encounter that you describe did not put you at risk for HIV. Condom protected sex is safe sex and if the condom appeared intact, it was. When condoms fail, they break wide open.  Further, I should add that your partner almost certainly used the condom correctly as CSWs use condoms to protect themselves from customers, not the other way around.

As for your specific questions:
1) could this be ars?
These symptoms do not match up well with the ARS.  

2) how do you assess my exposure?
See above- this was a no risk event.

3) what if the prostitute did want to infect me deliberately by for example using an already used contaminated condom?
What a silly thing to say- why should anyone want to do this?  See above.  It is unlikely you partner ha HIV.

4) i would rather get on with my life but the symptoms would not let me. Is my risk low and i do not need testing despite the syptoms?
From a medical perspective you do not need testing however if testing would give you peace of mind, then perhaps it is a good idea.

5) can i sleep with my wife unprotected? (I know i regret the story so much so and the guilt is killing me)
There is no medical reason relate to the encounter you describe not to have unprotected sex with your wife.

6) can anxiety cause low grade fever. I'm thinking of infection and how it is going to change my life and break my family. This suicidal.
See above. Anxiety can make you more aware of fever that you would not notice otherwise.

I hope these comments are helpful.  Please keep working with your doctor.  If you have not mentioned your concerns to him, perhaps you should. EWH