Still feeling sick after 10 weeks...

[Triforce]

I posted my situation a few days ago and asked for the Dr's. opinion.  Despite him being pretty reassuring I'm still very worried because of how I feel.  I'll jot down in point form what happened and what I've experienced since then.

-I'm male, Canadian, was very healthy, no drugs, I've slept with 4 people in my life.  These 2 just happened to be really close together.

- In a relationship with a friend I've known for 5 years from late December to early March. (3 months total, maybe had unprotected sex 15 times.  The last time being at the very latest March 3rd)

- 2 weeks later on March 17th I had unprotected sex with another friend I've known from highschool.  This was a "One Night Stand" and it was a horrible decision.

- 9 days after that during some intense physical testing for a new job I got EXTREMELY sick.  I started vomiting and couldn't keep anything down for 3 days, had diarrhea (This only happened once), passed out in my car from sheer exhaustion, and had a fever.  Once the fever broke I developed an itchy rash that started on my trunk/thighs and spread all over my body. I missed 5 days of work because I felt so sick and I was sure it was ARS.  I had my blood tested on April 10th, (5.5 weeks after last possible time with 1st girl and 3.5 weeks after only time with 2nd girl) Test was negative.

- Here's hopefully my saving grace.  I called the 2nd girl up and told her what I was going through and she said she was actually sick with the same thing minus the rash.  She couldn't keep anything down either and had a fever.  She thought I gave her the flu, but then she remembered how her good friend and her friend's family was just getting over a really bad flu. So I have an idea where this sickness came from now.

- I freaked out and saw at least 5 different Dr's.  They seem to think I'm overreacting based on A) I tested negative and there was nothing wrong with my blood at 5.5 weeks from last time with 1st girl. B) 2nd girl was suffering the same "flu like" illness at the same time.  They say we just shared a garden-variety virus.

- I was tested again last Monday.  This will be my confirmation.  10.5 weeks from 2nd girl.  I'm expecting the results sometime next week.

- I have had THE WORST panic attacks, stress and anxiety over the past two months.  I never used to suffer from any of these until this.  I have been taking Ativan sparingly to deal with things.  Some of the Dr's. think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

- It's now been 2.5 months since this whole ordeal began and I'm still feeling sick.  It's been this on and off malaise, specifically right after I wake and for a few hours longer.  I wake up sweating, mainly on my head/neck, but with no fever.  The sweat stops as soon as I get up, but of course it makes me panic more.  My bowel movements go from loose (but not diarrhea) to hard pellet-like pieces, my throat gets sore.  I was getting shooting/burning pains in my underarms that would go from REALLY sore to almost or completely gone. (The Dr's checked all my lymphnodes many, many times and they all said there was absolutely nothing wrong.) My neck/throat would feel the same shooting/burning pain like I was being strangled.  I'm a wreck.  I used to run everyday and lift weights.  I havent done any of that in two months because of the way I've felt.

- I need help

[Triforce]

Thank you so much for responding... You have no idea how much it means to me to hear that someone has experienced somewhat of the same things I have been going through.

I've stopped taking the Ativan.  I did take a home blood test kit and it came up negative so that has helped the nerves drastically, but it's not an FDA approved test so I'm still on edge.  I should hear from the clinic in the next couple of days about my "official" blood test that was taken at 10.5 weeks.

I'm still having on and off headaches/body aches, but the underarm pain has basically gone away.  It's hard to say whether or not that's related to the Ativan or not, cause I don't know the exact date I stopped taking them or when the pains started to really subside. It's very possible that the drug+anxiety was the cause, because as soon as I would feel the pains coming on I would pop a pill to deal with the stress and the panic and it just started getting worse.  Who knows.  I do know that I'm very sensitive to drugs.

I just want this all to be over with.  I have put my mind and body through so much these past two and a half months.  A person can only take so much punishment before everything starts to fall apart.

What dosage of Ativan were you taking and how often?  Did you experience other symptoms like the ones I have been going through?

Thanks again.  Any info would help.

[Anxious and Worried]

When I read this I almost fell off my chair - I was given Ativan also and have had the craziest side effects from it that I thought were also related to HIV.  The burning in my armpits and sore throat lasted almost three months.  I still have miscellaneous nerve pains, joint pains etc and I've been off now three months.  I had at least 10 HIV tests - all negative.  Hang in there and feel free to ask me anything about the Ativan.

[Triforce]

I should mention that I have barely slept since all of this happened.  It's getting better, but for at least a month and a half I was getting maybe 4 hours a night of poor sleep.  I'll wake up with a jolt, and any sudden noise will make me jump.  I think I've worn my body down so badly from the stress. I was at work last night and I thought I had a pretty good sleep yesterday with about 6 hours, but I started feeling so exhausted like I'd almost been drugged.  I did take an allergy pill, but it didn't say anything on the bottle about causing drowsiness.  It's hit me on so many levels. Even my bowel movements show undigested foods...

I'm starting to lean on the side that I'm going to be ok and that a lot of what I'm still experiencing is stress and anxiety.  I guess I can't expect to start feeling better after a couple days of semi-good sleep considering all I've put myself through the last couple of months.  Maybe it's just going to take a while.  I'm praying for a negative result and hoping it will start me on the right track to being normal again and never having unprotected sex unless I know for sure the persons status.

[Triforce]

To sum things up and assess my risk this is what I've done.

1. Tried to take all the Dr's. advice that I've seen/heard from, and accept that my test was at the very least reassuring.

2. Statistically break down the odds like this.

5.5 week negative test from last possible exposure with girl #1.  This is apparently very reassuring.

Developing the symptoms only 9 days after only time with girl #2 is apparently too early for the onset of ARS.  PLUS, she was suffering the same "flu like" virus at the same time.

Symptoms hit March 26th.  I was tested April 10th.  That's 15 days from the onset of symptoms and from what I've read people almost always seroconvert within two weeks from the onset of symptoms.


The problem is I keep going back to the symptoms regardless of the statistics heavily being in my favour.  I know that you should never self-diagnose yourself based on symptoms, but I had almost EVERY possible ARS symptom and they just happened to occur soon after I had unprot. sex.

I've read a bunch of threads on here with people freaking out because they had oral sex and aren't even having any symptoms.  I had unprotected vaginal sex and I have had a LOAD of symptoms, yet the Dr's still think I'm freaking out over nothing.

Please will someone confirm again with me that there are lots of more common viruses out there that will cause the exact same symptoms I had/have been dealing with so my mind will somewhat be at ease until I get the results next week.

Thanks to anyone who read this far...