I am no expert but have tried to find out this information myself as there does seem to be some conflicting opinions.
I did speak to THT who said the risk is very low depending on your dental/oral health but they have to advise protection, I suppose doctors etc have to protect themselves, against legal action. although I do understand the concerns of many as I also have concerns
This topic has been discussed AD NAUSEUM on this forum, as well as on the expert forum. The CDC and medical docs have a responsibility to be ultra conservative. You will VERY rarely EVER see a doctor say the words "NEVER" or "ALWAYS" when it comes to much of anything.
The thread that someone recommended above is a great one to read that discusses the reasons behind our stance that oral sex poses NO risk, and Teak offered quite extensive resources that back that position.
Your Mom is just likely one of the many many many people who take a conservative stance on a "theoretical" risk, solely for liability reasons.
No incident HIV infections among MSM who practice exclusively oral sex.
Int Conf AIDS 2004 Jul 11-16; 15:(abstract no. WePpC2072)??Balls JE, Evans JL, Dilley J, Osmond D, Shiboski S, Shiboski C, Klausner J, McFarland W, Greenspan D, Page-Shafer K?University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, United States
Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update
J Campo1, MA Perea1, J del Romero2, J Cano1, V Hernando2, A Bascones1
Oral Diseases (2006) 12, 219–228
AIDS: Volume 16(17) 22 November 2002 pp 2350-2352
Risk of HIV infection attributable to oral sex among men who have sex with men and in the population of men who have sex with men
Page-Shafer, Kimberlya,b; Shiboski, Caroline Hb; Osmond, Dennis Hc; Dilley, Jamesd; McFarland, Willie; Shiboski, Steve Cc; Klausner, Jeffrey De; Balls, Joycea; Greenspan, Deborahb; Greenspan
Page-Shafer K, Veugelers PJ, Moss AR, Strathdee S, Kaldor JM, van Griensven GJ. Sexual risk behavior and risk factors for HIV-1 seroconversion in homosexual men participating in the Tricontinental Seroconverter Study, 1982-1994 [published erratum appears in Am J Epidemiol 1997 15 Dec; 146(12):1076]. Am J Epidemiol 1997, 146:531-542.
Really your mother does assessments then if she does and advises people they are at risk she doesn't know her job and is not educated in doing assessments.
The "oral sex: all flavours" post explians why Teak, and the other 3 real experts in this forum say oral is no risk.
Also the two doctors in this forum say that oral is very low risk, but they have never seen someone testing positive if oral was their only exposure (in 30 years of experience)
I am not an expert, I am just a little stressed out becuase oral is my exposure, which I learned here is Zero risk, but does your mom knows someone that became hiv+ with just oral sex?