have had sore throat for five-sex weeks now

[johndoe779]

on or about july 2, 2007 i had unprotected sex with my old girlfriend
it was the first time i seen her in over three years
to the best of my knowledge she has had only one boyfriend since then
but there might have been a chance that she went out to a club immediately after i broke up with her and had sex with someone she hardly knew but i can't say for sure

on july 14 i took two days off work for sick leave, i was experiencing mild hot flashes and didnt feel like going into work, i spent all of the 14th in bed but by the afternoon of the 15th i felt good enough to go out to the bookstore

a terrible cold seemed to be going around the office at about the same time and i caught it, i woke up in the middle of the night coughing like mad, mild coughing episodes followed, other people i worked with seem to catch it too, as well as people at the book store, as well as people at home,

i THINK in the same week, by thursday or friday i decided to go to the doctor and get a full bore of STD tests done, i THINK by the following monday or tuesday I had blood taken for a HIV test
i THINK about a week to ten days later i went back to the doctor for my results,
all negative

i inquired about whether i should take another HIV test but my doctor said no, but to wait 3 months before doing another test

while the coughing subsided over time, the mildly sore throat has not

it's August 25th and i can still feel a mildly sore throat, over the month, i vomitted on a couple of occasions and last night i caught myself in a night sweet

i never noticed any fever, either last night or before, no headache, no musle aches, nothing

i am uncircumsized

i've tried to eliminate my fears by saying that she is an unlikely candidate for HIV but the mild sore throat is wearing me out

further, she's not on talking terms with me anymore

can anybody out there tell me why i am having a sore throat,

i've also noticed a few pimples around my neck were i never used to get them before

no sign of thrush or anything like that, that is, nothing out of the normal

i can't say for sure, but maybe the first time i noticed a sore throat was shortly after the first time i kissed her

if it wasnt for this sore throat i wouldn't give it so much thought, but what really got me today was finding out that hiv infection symtoms shows up 2-4 weeks after possible exposure

is there anybody out there that can help me

[Teak]

You already know that you were never at risk.

[johndoe779]

well, got the test back, all NEGATIVE as expected

it was just my anxious mind running away with itself

however.....

now for something completely different

believe it or not

i've found a guy in my area that is a closet homosexual

to the best of my knowledge he has had only one other male sexual partner in his entire life
\
he is 60 years old and is very very very descrete and selective

we want to have oral sex

and maybe a bit down the road perhaps even try anal sex

he's never done anal sex before

only oral sex on the other male who happens to be a married man

its in a small community and the married man's family knows this guy to the point to where they refer to him as "uncle"

the wife has no idea about the occasional oral sex that her husband and this 60 year old man has

anyway

i've not had oral sex with a man since i was a teenager

we are thinking that we are both already very clean, i know i am, i just had a test

i'm thinking that he is probably clean to, in fact, i'm almost 100% sure of it based on how he is acting

anyway

i just want your iinput on it

before i come back here and go

"OH MY GAWD I JUST HAD ORAL SEX WITH A 60 YEAR OLD MAN"

the good news is, is that I have learned to relax a bit since the summer

but I'd really like your input on it

yes, I know, some of you REALLY want to shoot me now

but I'd really appreciate your input on the matter

right now, I am pretty convinced that he is clean

and want to have oral sex with him to the point where I want to swallow every drop

(he has a really BIG one)

know what I mean

please, i beg of you, be paitent with me

I need your advice, not your critisim

thanks

- J.D.

[LIZZIE LOU]

look jd...

you do NOT need to use this site for a daily journal entry and we do NOT need to know every time your toe hurts or your head itches.  

you have been advised of your risk and when to test.  this is not a psychological counseling service.  there is an anxiety forum here at medhelp and it might be a better fit for what you are experiencing now.

with that being said...i do understand your fear but you must understand the purpose of this forum also.  please read at the top of this page "what" this forum's purpose is.  

please stop reading about hiv...you are only adding fuel to the fire of your anxiety.  NOT GOOD!!!!!  the odds that you have contracted hiv are SOOOOOOOOOOO LOOOOOOOW that it is not worth what you are putting yourself through.

NOW GET A GRIP!!!!!  

REMEMBER...YOU WILL BE BETTER SERVED ON THE ANXIETY FORUM...THERE'S IS NOTHING MORE THAT WE CAN ADD THAT HASNT ALREADY BEEN SAID.

PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Teak]

"anybody out there care to tell me off this morning?" No but reporting you to MedHelp mignt not be a bad idea.

[johndoe779]

it seems to be cold season here in my neck of the woods, people here in the office seems to have a slight cough or sneeze, my sinus infection seems to be almost gone, just a slight discomfort in the back of the nose. but i experienced a little nausea this morning as soon as i got in from the cold

i just had sex with her once for about five minutes, she had one only other man besides me in the last four years, he was in a seven year relationship with another woman before her, she goes to the doctor every year for a yearly checkup and they do  blood work but i dont know if that also includes a hiv test, her tests always come back clear and she's never had reason to ask for a hiv test. she was very hurt when i asked her about it

its a bit cold outside for september, going out there causes me to gag when i come back in. i don't know if i'm sick or not. i feel fine except for what i just mentioned, am i going crazy ?

there's a cough going around the office but i am too afraid to ask anyone if they feel really sick? i read up on the internet last night that a lot of the symptoms i've experienced can be attributed to stress or anxiety. if only i didnt have this minor discomfort on the back of my nose or felt nausea this morning... i simply cannot imagine her (or him) having hiv, i just can't imagine it

i did my 9 week test on tuesday night, i have to wait for two weeks before i get the results....

as you can see, i have NO capacity whatsoever to be able to deal with any of this.... i'm told the odds are greatly in my favour, i keep getting told that, the nurse herself said i have greater chance of getting hit by lightening based on what she sees come into her office... but there's only one way to tell for sure, she says that too.

anybody out there care to tell me off this morning?

[mistake428]

I doubt that she will have a problem testing you again, I went yester for a ten week test and I told her that I wanted to come back in two weeks for my 12 conclusive results and there was no problem..

good luck with your results!!!

[johndoe779]

I was thinking about getting tested today actually.

Had a massive anxiety attack yesterday as you can tell.

The pengilum has swung, I'm feeling much better today.

I got myself convinced again that it's ridiculous to think that she might have anything. So I'll be fine for a little while until I notice another oddity to fly off the handle over.

So I've decided to just go ahead and get tested today at 9 weeks. Hopefully, the nurse will have no problem with testing me again at 12 weeks.

[mistake428]

I don't know the correct numbers so i don't know that answer...

You do know you are almost at your 3 month mark right??

Your almost there you can hang in there a few more weeks!!

Did you ever get testing at the 6 week mark or later?

[johndoe779]

thanks for taking the time to get back to me, there's no disagreement, i DO need to RELAX

along with your wonderful comment, i just read somewhere on this board that having been with someone who has an unknown status sets my odds at 1/200000, is this correct ?

it kinda makes sense in a way, but i do need to relax.

thanks again

- me

[mistake428]

You have to chill, Look I am going through the same thing BUT after getting the advise from certain people on here... I RELAXED and ALL and I mean ALL of my symptoms went AWAY!!!

How crazy is that!! What a crazy coincidence. I still worry and will until my 3 month mark, but I am not driving myself up the wall any more and my life is back.

CHILL OUT And get tested at your 8 week mark and get tested at your 12 week mark… you are fine

[johndoe779]

to recap....

last night i picked up a nasal irrigation kit, took it home, did the nasal irrigation thing, this morning i have what seems like a thin line of blood vessels over the left side of my top lip, and it looks embarrassing not to mention anxiety causing

i just read the entire thread here again and am now a little more relaxed...

i'm going to get the test done for tomorrow and then another on the 7th (if she'll let me, i hope, i hope, i hope)

sorry for being so anxious this morning

thanks

[johndoe779]

i want a logical explanation for what i am experiencing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i seem to be suffering from a lingering sinus infection, nothing major, not throwing up or coughing or anything, just this ever-so-slight tingling at the back of my throat. so last night i thought i'd go out and buy a special nasal kit from the drug store that shoots water and stuff up your nose and lets it come out the other side. i did that with bottled water last night. this morning have this strange bump right next to my left eye brow that at first i took for a pimple, i tried to squeeze it, but it didnt feel like a pimple. just a bump. then when i get into work, i use the bathroom and notice a thin line of raised blood vessels over the top of the left side of my lip!!!!!!!! i look up the internet and the best i can find is something on cellulitis. i looked up pictures of that but it doesnt seem to be the same thing.

i went to planned parenthood to get my 8 week blood test last week but after talking with the nurse, she said that i'm better off waiting till october 7 when i'll be at my 3 month mark, it's september 15.... i dont think i can wait any longer. even when i do the test i have to wait two weeks for the results....

i'm thinking the nasal spray last night might have triggered off a couple of reactions, so i wont be doing any more of that. also, in the past couple of days, in an effort to beef up the body i picked up some good multivitamins and vitamin c as well as some echinacia that i've been on for about 3 or 4 days now.... is this causing what i'm seeing on my face this morning ??????????????????????????????

i talked with joanne last night and told her that i've been really concerned about the sinus infection that i've been having for the last eight weeks, granted for the last 3-4 weeks the sinus infection has been limited to a slight tingliing in the back of the nasal area with not much of a sore throat.... so i asked her about her sexual history, she says shes only been with one other guy in the last four years since being with me and he only been with one other woman 7 years before her.... further, she says every year she gets a full set of blood tests done to check for pap smears and stuff like that and to the best of her knowledge they also check for hiv as well... but i dont know if she knows for sure because i couldnt get it out of her whether or not she ever asked for a hiv test explicitly....

so here i am this morning, pumped up on vitamins trying to get rid of the remains of a sinus infection. i used the nasal irrigation last night as best i could (i used bottled water, it said to use previously boiled water), with a little red mark over my lip and a slightly raised bump next to my eye brow wondering whats going on this morning.......

AM I GOING CRAZY????????????????????????????????

DAMN IT, I JUST WANT TO BE WELL... IS THAT TOOOOOOOO MUCH TO ASK THE UNIVERSE TODAY?????????????????

i'm going to say screw the vitamns and screw the nasal irrigation, i'm going back to just drinking high quality fruit juices, thats about the only thing that seems to work..... also this morning, the morning after doing the nasal irrigation thing, that when i stick out my tongue, i'm starting to gag again.... so maybe i set myself back with the damned nasal irrigation thing

this is driving me insane

[wonderingaloud]

Get thes test at this point I believe if I have the timeline down you are around 8 weeks from your encounter that will be pretty good evidence you are not infected close it out with a slam dunk test at ninety days and you are good to go. The numbers are really in your favor.  You had heterosexual sex in the US and you are a guy the odds are truly on your side.  i am sure you are fine but that does not matter until you are sure.  The people at planned parenthood are excellent most of their testing is free or low cost.  I would encourage you to make a donation you can do it online and it is tax deductible.  They need the money and they deserve it for the good work they do.  Good luck and all the best.

[johndoe779]

well i just found out yesterday that my ex-girlfriend gets a check up every year where they do blood work and everything and with her everything is fine. also, she reiterated that she`s only been with one other man besides me in another three year steady relationship

that pretty much resolves alot of my concern but just to be *totally* sure I`m going to go get an anonymous test done at Planned Parenthood anyway. just to be on the *totally* safe side

i know that sounds pretty crazy, but i can`t recall the last time i had such an lingering sinus infection, but there again apparently they are known to hang around until dealth with properly

then again maybe it`s just me, i get a bit paranoid like that

thanks again everyone

- me

[nursegirl6572]

You would be surprised just how many PM's we get....

Yes, PM is a "Personal Message", and I don't get what you are trying to say?  That I'm making it up?  

I know how many *I* get....and I know that Teak and Lizzie get about 10X what I get.

I have NO problem reassuring people....but you can only answer the same question to the same person so many ways and so many times.

After that...you are just fueling their anxiety.

[Mattuck]

Are you sure that each one of you getting the same question in ur PM? How do you say that....PM is personal message...............LOL

[johndoe779]

thanks everyone.... sorry for sounding like a broken record...!

also, i found a place in town where i can go get tested

i`ll just have to keep my imagination in check as best i can

really appreciate your feedback though, very much actually

thanks again

[LIZZIE LOU]

all we can do is state the facts regarding transmission, risks, and testing.  we cannot and will not babysit the posters here.  as one of the doctors on the expert forum so eloquently stated..."this is not a psychological counseling service".

[mjd83]

I had a very similar situation as John Doe and what caused me to go so haywire was the timing of the symptoms.... exactly 2 weeks after unprotected sex just seem way to coincidental.

It is hard to comprehend just how small the risk of infection is for most random vaginal exposures (I can't imagine what 1 in 100,000 looks like visually). The rational mind comprehends the risk is low but the presence of symptoms (even ones that aren't typically ARS associated) is very powerful psychologically toward making you think something is wrong with you. That is why I sympathize with people like John Doe and probably the only reason I personally continue to post on this forum.. to reassure such people... bottom line is I understand from experience.

John Doe: No, all your symptoms probably aren't caused by anxiety but I'd bet you they are amplified by it. You actually explain most of them - extra covers make you sweat at night, sinus infection causes runny nose and sore throat (ARS does not cause runny nose by the way... mucous pretty much can rule ARS out) and fever which makes you sweat at night. Can you get HIV from the exposure you describe? yes... I can also get hit in the face and killed by a comet sitting here typing, Socrates died from a random turtle being dropped on his head, etc.

The odds are VERY strongly against you being infected from HIV by the exposure you describe, and your symtpoms aren't even really suggestive of ARS. I've heard that if a guy like you (or me) shows up HIV positive it becomes the source of an investigation and medical case report... that's how rare it is. Relax man, breathe, ignore that sinus infection, your fine.

[nursegirl6572]

And with that..I'm done here...I apologize to the OP for hijacking your thread.....I got carried away, sorry!

[nursegirl6572]

Oh, and another thing...we ALl flat out tell people NOT to search the web.....and they do it anyway.  All that does is add fuel to their anxious fire.

Another example of not really taking our advice.

[nursegirl6572]

Let me tell you something....I have allll the patience in the world, as do the other "regulars" who post here...but due to the nature of this forum...and the fragile and irrational mindset of most of the posters (not to mention the lurkers)...there are rules put in place for a reason.

It does the poster...nor ANYONE else any good to continue the back and forth after people have been told they had no risk.  All it does is fuel the anxiety.  Plus, there is already umpteen exact same posts if one would take the time to search....which most don't.

Not to mention...for every post you see, each of us is most likely getting a PM asking the exact same question...I guess figuring we would have something different to say in private?

People come here for reassurance, they should take it.  Not try to talk us out of what we are saying.  

And as far as my dental/headache example...you totally missed what I was trying to say.

[Mattuck]

You are correct but not always. People when they dont have any kind of encounter, they are not really bothred about the headache, dental etc....But when they have some encounter, and when they have headache, dental after the encounter they are worried, Because even Internet tells about these sysmptoms, Inthatcase, people like you , lizzie and teak should really advice them with patience and not react and should not ban them from this site.

[nursegirl6572]

With all due respect......I'd say that 99% of the posters that come here don't actually even HAVE a risk, yet they are convinced they have HIV...or are at risk for it.

There is NO reasoning with them.

If they would just TRY to start addressing their "symptoms" as anxiety...and seek help for THAT rather than waste time and money on HIV testing that they never needed....they would be amazed at how quickly their "symptoms" would disappear.

Plus...for those who maybe DID have a risk...."symptoms" are truly useless to consider when gauging risk.  A large majority of people who test + never had one symptom at all...and almost 100% of the people who seek help in an ER situation THINKING they are having ARS symptoms end up testing NEG.  That is overwhelming evidence that symptoms simply CANNOT be considered in these situations.

The docs in our expert forum say the SAME thing literally over and over and over till they're blue in the face...and almost EVERY poster comes back with it..."Yeah but...I'm having...*insert random symptom here*".  If people are going to come here and seek advice...then they need to be confident in that advice.

You don't see this in ANY other forum here.  You don't see this in the Headache Forum, or Dental Forum, etc etc etc etc....only here, b/c sadly people have SUCH a HUGELY overinflated idea of what actually constitutes a risk.

"Yes, dentist, but what if it is INDEED a rare and deadly tooth condition, and not pain from the root canal I had yesterday?"

;0)