First of all, God bless you for this site. It is a source of encouragement and comfort to the thousands of us out there who are scared and/who are unable to receive a negative diagnosis and move on. I had a one-time anal receptive exposure in October 2003. Foolishly on my behalf, it was unprotected. The next day, i realized my mistake and within 32 hours, I was taking an anti-viral. Turns out, he was positive. I tested negative at 3, 6, and 12 weeks. I never was sick during that time (i checked my lymph nodes multple times daily). It was single exposure, and i new my chances of seroconversion were greatly reduced.
In 2007, I started becoming sexual again, but only with one guy. We are not in a committed relationship, and i know he has been tested and has routine blood work done. Also, he is ONLY a top and never swallows or does drugs. Our sexual practices are highly safe: during intercourse, he uses a condom, and just before ejaculation, he withdraws, removes the condom, and finishes the job with his hands. Never once has the condom broke. And we don't swallow.
This will sound silly, but on July 15 he ejaculated on me, primarily on my stomach. I do think a drop or two hit my arm. Near my wrist on that same arm, there was a healing mosquito bite. It was not bleeding, and the scab area was forming. To be honest, i'm not sure a drop ever hit there in the first place. Nevertheless, panic set in again. I washed my arm within a minute, and later that day i brushed the area with peroxide.
How accurate is my self diagnois: I had a scary experience, tested negative at 12 weeks (and I had CBCs done in 05 and 06 and all were normal), developed severe anxiety, and, as a result, i'm having flashbacks and am terrified every time i have sex and my ability to think rational is out the window.
Thanks for your patience. The last thing i want to do is to get tested again; the anxiety is just too much. Thanks for any advice you may havel.