Very Concerned In Canada

[lucy1995]

Hi there. Dr H.  I have searched the forums and haven't really found anything like my situation so I hope you can help.  A week ago, a friend came to town and after one too many glasses of wine we began having vaginal intercourse without a condom.  When I realized we were not using a condom, we stopped and got out protection.  The unprotected sex lasted about 3-5 minutes, and I am not sure about pre-ejaculate.  We proceeded to have sex twice, both times with a condom.  We also engaged in oral sex without a condom, where after he ejaculated on my chest. A couple of days later I began panicking that I may have gotten infected that I haven't been able to sleep or focus on anything.  I called him and explained how worried I was but he said I have nothing to worry about.  That hasn't lessened my worry.  What if he had HIV and didn't know?  He's not permiscious that I know of, but still. I went and got a urine test for 2 STDs and they we negative. UG, please help.  What was my risk?  I guess I should also tell you that I am a 40 year old single mom in Canada.

I'd also like to say thank you for being involved with this forum.  You help alot!

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I don't think you have any serious worries about HIV.  Heterosexually transmitted HIV is much rarer than you think.  Assuming your friend comes from a similar background as you do -- i.e., if he isn't an injection drug user or bisexual, hasn't been in prison, and isn't an immigrnat from an country with high rates of HIV -- then it is extremely likely he has HIV.  And if he did, probably he would know and certainly would have admitted it.  On top of all that, even with typical (i.e., more prolonged) unprotected vaginal sex, including ejactulation inside you, the average risk of HIV transmission (if he had it) is only 1 chance in 1,000.

And as far as STDs are concerned, it sounds like he also is at pretty low risk, and your negative test results should be reassuring.

All things considered, there simply is no HIV risk to worry about.  Based on the overall risk assessment, you don't even need to be tested for HIV.  However, if you remain nervous and you will sleep better knowing you weren't infected, go ahead and have an HIV test for peace of mind; you can be tested reliably any time from 6 weeks after the event.  Even better, ask your friend to go together with you for HIV testing right now.  If his result is negative you will know for sure you weren't exposed.  But even if he won't go along with that, truly please try not to worry.  There really is no significant HIV risk in this situation.

I hope this helps.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[lucy1995]

Nah,  The money I gave for the first second and (horribly) third question (again so sorry) is money well spent.  It just goes into the pot that enables doctors like you helping people like me.  Thank you.

And thank you again, for stating that I have no risk of HIV and I just need to move on like you said.  Keep well Doc.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You didn't mean any harm.  You might use the contact link to ask MedHelp to refund the 2 extra fees you paid.  (No guarantee, though; that part of the business is out of my hands.)

[lucy1995]

So sorry.  Was not sure how to post a new question.  I thank you for your advice in the first question and the additional information.  It was very much appreciated.  Again so sorry, didn't mean to take away from anyone else.  

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Stop posting additional new threads.  I deleted both attempts.  Follow-up comments should be here.  Only a limited number of new questions can be accepted, and superfluous ones prevent others from asking their own questions.

The additional information you provided makes no difference in my opinion or my advice.  You are not at risk for HIV.  Time to accept the reassurance you have been given and move on.