My anxiety is unmanageably high

[extremeanxiety930]

31 days ago I had a sexual encounter with a girl I met online. This is the second girl I have ever slept with. We were not in a relationship and it was strictly for sex. We were both sober. Before I asked if she was clean and she said yes, I asked how long ago she was tested, she said two months ago in an annual checkup. She was in a 1.5 year relationship until 2 weeks before we hooked up and she said I was the first guy she had been with since the end of the relationship. She is 29, caucasian from chicago, IL. I gave her unoroteced oral, fingered her and she gave me unprotected oral, i fingered her vagina and her anus. We then had protected sex for about 30 minutes, the condom was intact at the end and never slipped off, I checked. I emailed and asked her a day afterwards and she reassured me she was clean and I was freaking out a week after as well and asked again and she tried to reassure me she was being honest with me that she was clean but I am just so paranoid and freaked out. Is there anyway you can tell me the risk involved in this situation? I know i need to go an see a psychologist about my anxiety because this is just driving me completely insane. I was tested with a rapier quick test at planned parenthood 25 days after and it was negative but I sm having such a hard time waiting for 3 months to pass. Is there anything you can tell me about risk and my anxiety? I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it, I am completely losing it right now.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

It has been almost a week since "This is th last question I  promise".  If you keep posting anxiety-driven questions whose answers are obvious from the previous replies, like the two I deleted, the entire thread will be immediately deleted.  And do not start a new thread with the same questions; it would suffer the same fate, without reimbursement of the posting fee.

Please seek the professional counseling you so obviously need.  Your thinking on this truly is not rational.  I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.

And by the way, we do never examine posted clinical photos on this forum.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Because of everything I have said; each of several lines of evidence is in your favor.  Together they amount to 100% certainty.  Reread all my comments and pay careful attention.

That indeed is the last question and my last reply.  Move on.

[extremeanxiety930]

Conclusive because of the no risk factor or the test I recently took. This is th last question I  promise.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

It is already conclusive you did not catch HIV; you don't need testing to know that.  If you should ever have a positive test, it would be necessary to explore other possible exposures that you haven't mentioned or for some reason do not know about.  You could not have caught it from the exposure described.

As for timing, if you choose to be tested, see the link to the first of the two threads I provided.  6 weeks is fine.

[extremeanxiety930]

Ok ok I see, thank you I will get check this out. But if I cant get one, you say a standard blood, rapid test at planned parenthood at 6 weeks should be conclusive?

I am sure you get very tired of answering these questions, thank you so much.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Doctors can request a duo test from most labs.  If the local lab doesn't do it, they would know how to refer it to a lab that does.  Some public health departments undoubtedly offer it, but not all; it's more expensive.

[extremeanxiety930]

I appreciate you answering this question so much.

[extremeanxiety930]

Dr. Thank you so much, do you know where these duo tests are offered consistently?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Actually, part of your decision was smart, i.e. using a condom.  This additonal information provides still further reassurance.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the forum.  You are seriously overreacting to a risk free event.  Heterosexually transmitted HIV is exceedingly uncommon in situations like yours.  So congratulations for using safe sex, once you decided on this sort of encounter.  And stop worrying so much.

There are 4 main reasons why you are at little or no risk of HIV.  1) You had condom-protected vaginal sex, and condoms work.  2) HIV is not transmitted by fingering or kissing; rarely if ever by oral to penile exposure; and never known to have been transmitted by cunnilingus (oral-vaginal contact).  3) You describe a partner who is very unlikely to have HIV:  infection is rare in most heterosexual women and your partner probably is at low risk since she probably uses condoms consistently and has recently had a negative test (people rarely lie about HIV status when asked directly).  4) And finally, even if all odds were wrong and your partner had HIV, and if condoms didn't work, the chance of female to male HIV transmnmission for any single sexual exposure is only around 1 in 2,000 for unprotected vaginal sex.  That's why many spouses of HIV infected people don't catch it themselves.  (I'll bet you didn't know that.)

You need not wait 3 months for definitive testing.  Even though many or most prevention agencies advise waiting that long, almost always the standard HIV antibody tests are 100% reliable by 6-8 weeks; and if you seek out a duo test (for both HIV antibody and p24 antigen), that result will be 100% reliable right now, i.e. any time after 4 weeks.  Here is a thread that discusses this in detail:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/-A-Question-on-Testing/show/1347755
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Need-your-help/show/1345664 (for this one, start reading with the follow-up comment Sept. 19)

Your risk of HIV is sufficiently low that you really don't need testing at all, except for reassurance purposes -- i.e. get tested if my words don't settle your anxieties and you need a negative result for additional reassurance.

So get tested for reassurance, and stay mellow in the meantime. There is no realistic chance you were infected.

Regards--  HHH, MD

[extremeanxiety930]

I am afraid that even though she told me she was clean and gave the Information about her boyfriend she could be lying, but why would she lie if I asked after multiple times! I am just very scared. An awful decision.