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Avatar universal

Why Don't I have HIV?

My husband and I were married in Nov. of 2006.  We had unprotected sex in the months of Nov, Dec, Jan and Feb.  I had an HIV test in Jan.  It was Neg.  We decided to start using condoms to prevent pregnancy.  We did not have unprotected sex in the months of Feb, March, April, May and mid June.

In mid June, the condom broke and I rushed in to the clinic for a morning after pill.  I got on the nuva ring and thereafter had unprotecd sex approx 10 times through the end of June through July 10.  

My husband recently tested pos (on Friday the 13th, last week,)  

I tested neg again on Monday.  .  

Why don't I have hiv?

When can I find out?  I have a sore throat, a cough...a summer cold, I guess.  

Should I start treatment now to narrow the risk of infection or is it way too late for that?

If I test positive a few weeks from now, is it safe to assume that it was aquired between the two us after April? He got a tattoo in April.   I don't want to beleive that he had an affair, but I also don't want to stay with a man who would put our family in that kind of danger.  I just wish there were a way to know iwhen he got it.  I am angry.


135 Responses
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Avatar universal
Have you asked him yet?

Anyways, HIV (subtype B, at least, in the US) is a relatively difficult virus to catch via heterosexual sex. Dr Triple H (the doctor here, not the wrestler), grandmaster of all things HIV, will quote you a 1/1000 odds of getting it via a 1 time exposure....multiply that by 10 and you get 1/100. So it's not too difficult to see from that point of view. Anyways, it is too late to start PEP. Test 12 weeks after your last unprotected exposure to him to get your conclusive serostatus result. I would be angry too.

Best of luck to you, Miracle...oh ya, by the way, someone else had a similar story and she posted a negative result...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ya ive been reading alot lately! and im nowhere near advanced as some people on here about there hiv knowledge but i would imagen ur husband got hiv probably before he tested and why would he be testing if you were his only partner and he knew that you were negative! I would assume if i was you that it would have been a month or so prior to his test! I dont know if that helps but its just an assumption!
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Avatar universal
Oh, ya, if you can't wait to 12 (NO ONE can, of course)...the venerable H3 will tell you that 6 weeks post exposure is extremely reliable (and he says he's never seen someone test neg 6-8 weeks post exposure then switch to positive).

Good luck you.
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Avatar universal
That is love, to be with a known HIV person, this is my fear in life. THat I will never be able to find true love.
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Avatar universal
<----shaking his head.

BD, this person has a true worry. Have you no compassion?
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Avatar universal
What are you talking about, I was serious. She must love this person to sleep with him if he has HIV. I wish her the best of luck, but how many of us have someone like her in our lives? None if any, I'm going to die lonely and depressed.
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Avatar universal
It is unlikely he got it from a tattoo in the U.S. Tattoo parlors are under way too much scrutiny here to be sharing needles and such (I would imagine). Out of curiosity, what made him get an HIV test? Also, a positive ELISA, EIA, or rapid test needs to be backed up by a Western Blot. If he hasn't had the Western Blot yet, it is still possible he hasn't contracted HIV. False positives are definitely in occurence with those tests. Some more info: realistically, an antibody test will turn positive by 4-6 weeks post exposure. If you do the math on that, it the earliest you *could* have been affected was in early June. That rules out anything in Nov - Feb. Why did he not get an HIV test at the same time you did in January?

Dammit asp, I wish I wasn't this knowledgable about HIV (which I'm really not, I'm just a scared symptom searcher with a low risk; Teak is grandmaster 1A).

BD, she never knew he was positive until he tested...and I don't think she wants to stay with him from the text of it.
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229411 tn?1189755825
A lot of times posts like these lead me to believe its phony. She hasnt come back to the boards to respond and I thought you got blood tests before a marriage certificate is issued? She isnt really concernd about a sore throat, just calls it a summer cough. Most people in this situation would be PANICK stricken.

If I am wrong I deeply apologize, I just find this post hard to believe.

I want to know why he went in for an HIV test anyway.


Helpful - 0
219662 tn?1223858560
1.  Your husband needs to confirm his test.  False positives do happen
2.  If he is poz, you need a test in October to rule out infection
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Avatar universal
October? What about the 3 month window? Argggh, all you 'knowledgable' folk keep on switching up the times on us sheep. This stinks.
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Avatar universal
Sorry, miracle, the "venerable H3" is the Dr. H Hunter Hansfield, the resident medhelp.org HIV doc here. He's on the Ask a Doctor forum. Sorry for the confusion.
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Avatar universal
Hey guys...I'm really glad to see so many of you responding...and to wohomever said this was phony...well...its not...it's very real.  I just got back online...I've been at work and tucked my two year old in bed.  I haven't had unproctected sex with him since we found out he was pos on Friday.

What is this:  ?????
"the venerable H3 will tell you that 6 weeks post exposure is extremely reliable"


I guess I'll throw in a few other details...Sorry if its a little long...


I'm in Oklahoma...No blood test was needed before marriage...

He was tested last July.  It was neg.
I was tested in Jan because I was pregnant. (lost the baby at 6 weeks)

I AM PANIC STRICKEN.  I have my little boy to think about.  

I went to a weight loss clinic about a month ago and they did blood work on me CBC, I think its called, any way, I got a call from them saying I needed to have a repeat done because my white blood cells and platelets were a little high and not to worry because I could just have a minor infection....At that point, I new nothing about HIV but I immediately called my husband at work and told him something may be wrong with me....So, like most people I googled "high white blood cells...." and other variations of that sort and came to the conclusion that I was probably okay....This incident is what sparked me to bug him about his health.  He started getting red spots on his face, then his scalp, so he went to his father's clinic (his father is a P.A.)  and got some topical steriod cream... Decided then to run blood work.  Just a check-up....No real worries.  He says his father is the one who ordered the hiv test, in other words, he says he didn't really request it.  

A week later, his mother comes banging on our door early last Friday morning to tell him that the blood work came back and he was HIV pos.  I'm not making this up people!!!!!  He got the news from his MOMMA!

He went back to the clinic and did the western blot next,  We cried and screamed and read and researched all weekend.  Borders only had one book about HIV!!! (Everything you need to know for the first year handbook,)
Thankfully, its not the death sentence I'd imagined in the first days I knew he had it.  He will live.  And I will live.  But I don't know if there is enough love in the world to keep me at his side through this knowing that he could've have and very realistically DID have sex with someone else while we've been married.  

I want to beleive its the tatoo.  

We went to the YGLA and got a free oral test on Monday.  Mine was negative and his was positive (again)

I'm looking for answers, for someone to tell me: this is when and why my husband contracted hiv.  
Will his viral load tell us approx how long he's had it?  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Teak should answer your viral load questions. But I think the period he contracted it is probably anywhere between 6 weeks before his neg test last year and 4 weeks before his positive test this year...that probably doesn't help much though.
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229411 tn?1189755825
Ooops, misread that he was tested last July.

Why was he tested last July?
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Avatar universal
He must have went to a real ****** tatoo parlor.

I've had thoughts of my mother telling me I'm pos. Its weird you say that, I think thats another sign for my situation.
Helpful - 0
229411 tn?1189755825
I am sorry if I doubted your story.

I am sorry to hear your husband has HIV. That is good news you are testing negative :)

Maybe he had HIV for years and did not know it. How do you know that he got it during the time of marriage? Do you know about his sexual past or history of drug use?
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Avatar universal
He was tested last July because I wanted us to both get tested them.  I knew I wanted to eventually have this mans children!  It just blows my mind that i didn't get it all those months of unprotected sex.  If i contracted it in the last month of unprotected sex, that would lead me to believe that he contracted it while we have been married...my head is spinning and i am putting him through hell about whether or not he is faithful.  With tears in his eyes he tells me he's not cheated on me and he doesn't know where it came from. I want to trust him, but I I have this feeling I shouldn't/  But then again, what kind of b**ch leaves her husband in sickness?  I am mostly scared.  And there is noone to talk to.  I just want answers and noone can give them to me but him.  Thanks for all the kind words guys.  I'll be back tomorrow. I have to get to bed...

Sweet dreams!  
Keep hope!
Helpful - 0
219662 tn?1223858560
1.  Was his test confirmed by the Western Blot?  You said he took it, did he get the results already?
2.  No one will tell you for sure how he got HIV.  It is possible that he is a "closet" bisexual.  The tattoo scenario is possible, but it's not the most common way HIV is spread.
3.  I'm sorry, but to know your status for sure you'll have to wait a while.  A test taken in September (6+ weeks since last exposure) will be very accurate.  CDC recommends a test at full 3 months post-exposure.  In the meantime, the fact that you haven't got real sick is a good sign that you're fine.  Most (but not all) people get a bad flu-like illness soon after infection.

Good luck to you and your husband, I'll be here if you need me.
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Avatar universal
And I thought I had a rough week!!!
Helpful - 0
172023 tn?1334672284
Hm.  How very odd that they told his mom his test results---bigtime HIPPA violation.  The biggest you can probably have.  And before they did the WB.  Life in OK must be very different.  Don't worry about your platelets--elevated platelets have nothing to do with HIV.  And your white count probably isn't related, either.

There is another forum LIVING WITH HIV where you will find it more appropriate to post.  Other people affected by the disease post there.

Best of luck.  
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
sorry about all the emotions that are flooding your head and heart right now...this is a difficult place to find yourself in.
my son was diagnosed a few months ago with HIV but his g/f tested negative out to three months.  who knows exactly "when" he got it...he just got it.  he was unfaithful to his g/f many times because of his meth addiction.  and NO ppl, he did not shoot up.  he also spent time in prison on drug charges and had several tattoos while there...and let me just go ahead and say that those needles are not sterile and just passed around like it was nothing.  but who knows?  doesn't matter...he has it.
i knew it would not take long before someone would bring up the question on whether he was bisexual...they always do.  please don't get caught up in all the drama that goes on here.
my son's g/f is now his wife.  she is a wonderful young woman who is devoting her life to a man who not only cheated on her but also has HIV.  my advice to you is to take one step at a time.  you can't fix this problem...and it won't just go away.  this is all new to you and it is going to take some time for you to accept and adjust to this.  go with him to all of his doctor's appts...get informed there first instead of reading alot of junk you will find on the internet.  then you can work on deciding exactly what you want to do about your life and the situation that he has put you in.  
there is another forum here called "living with aids/hiv".  you may not have it yourself but you are definitely living it.
i wish you luck sweetie and if you want to talk...i will be on the other forum.

kim (mother of christian HIV+)
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Avatar universal
I'm amazed in 2007 how many people think, that only gays and bisexual men get HIV and transmit it. That is one of the biggest myths about HIV that there is today.
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229411 tn?1189755825
A lot of men in prison are sexually assaulted by other men. It is very common. There was a special on it on MSNBC and I remember in high school in my criminal law class we went to the state prison to be talked to by lifers and they were telling us horrible stories about sexual assault there. Perhaps that might be one way your son contracted the virus.
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Avatar universal
It doesn't really matter how one contracts HIV. It is how one takes care of themselves and gets treatment when necessary.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/index.htm
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