HIV risk - anxious

[jane884]

Hi doctor.  I wonder if you could help me with my worries.

I'm female 5 weeks ago I met up with an ex (male, hetrosexual).  Stupid I know and I deeply regret it.

We engaged in mutual masturbation and oral sex.  We were going to have sex, he put on a condom and as he was about to enter me, I stopped everything and couldn't go through with it.

As the anxious person I am, at 4 weeks I had the 28 duo test (I'm in the UK) and urine test for G & C - all came back negative.

However I still feel anxious and worried and not sleeping from all this.  I've then been going back to that evening trying to remember every detail, getting myself all worked up.  I've spoken to my ex and he said he didn't even get near to me unprotected until he put on a condom.  But I keep thinking what if he did and if his unprotected penis touched my vagina - you can see what my mind is doing!   I've been reading the other posts and statistics and how there has to be lots of bacteria etc etc to try and calm me down, but then my worries creep back.  I'm not sleeping well either.  I wonder if you could give me a lighting or meteorite analogy to help calm me down.

Should I have another test?

I just want to move forward and hope you can do this for me.  Thank you.

[jane884]

Hello Doctor, I know you're probably sick of answering questions about symptoms, but my sore throat has now been going on for 12 days - still no concerns for you?  Not that bad, but enough to let me know that it's there.

Much appreciated.

[jane884]

sorry doctor, one more thing.  As you know, I had a urine test for both G & C but was wondering if I should've had a test for Trich?  However I cant see many suggestions for this test so wondering if it is relevant. Thank you.

[jane884]

thank you doctor. Can I just ask one more question?  From the actitives I've mentioned, is there any reason for Hep B testing?  I do notice that it's not a common testing suggestion by yourself and Dr HHH but I do note that many people do go ahead and get testing anyway.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Asking the same question repeatedly will not change the facts or the answer.  You really should not be worrying about HIV at this time.  If you wish to read/hear my comments again, please just re-read my earlier comments.  The time you spend worrying would be more productively spent addressing the guilt and shame you mention with a counselor.

This concludes this thread. There will be no further answers.  EWH

[jane884]

Morning Doctor.  Sorry to trouble you again but today is day 6 of my mild sore throat - do you really think it's ok?  (i'm now 6 weeks post incident).

I appreciate in your first reply you said "the risk from oral sex is so low as to not be of concern" - but my crazy mind keeps saying "it's not zero risk" (I performed oral sex 3 times).  And I know I shouldn't do "what if's" but I'm worried I'll be the one who gets HIV via oral sex.   I think my guilt and shame is playing a big part in this.

Do you really think I'm ok?  I just cant shake the fear and I'm trying to believe my negative 28 day duo and I'm staying off the internet too ; instead I just read the figures given on this forum and although I cant work out my mathematical risk, I'm hoping it's low.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Please believe your tess and stop reading the internet.  it is not helping.  You really need not be concerned.  Hope your sore throat is better soon.  EWH

[jane884]

I really must stop reading the posts.  Now I'm worried about sero-conversion having this mild sore throat after my negative duo.  This morning, my skin's feeling a bit itchy and prickly - anxiety I guess.

[jane884]

Hi Doctor.  

Today is day 3 of my mild sore throat - still no concerns?

I would just like to have a worry free weekend.  Thank you

[Edward W Hook, MD]

No, it would not worry me at all.  Perhaps you just caught a plain old, every day viral sore throat.  I would not worry about HIV. EWH

[jane884]

Thank you doctor.  The tidal wave comment made me smile.

I think the sore throat just triggered my anxiety off.  The sore throat after a negative duo wouldn't concern you then? (again too much reading about posters and their symptoms)

[Edward W Hook, MD]

   Welcome to our Forum.  It sounds to me as though you would like for me to verify what you already know from having read some of the other threads on our Forum.  I’ll try to help.  The chances that your ex has HIV is very, very low.  Has he been tested?  If so and he is negative, then your risk is absolutely zero at this time.

If he is not, your risk is still about as close to zero as it can get.  No one has EVER gotten HIV from mutual masturbation and the risk from oral sex is so low as to not be of concern.  As I have said before, I have never seen or heard of a convincing instance in which HIV was transmitted through oral sex.

Furthermore, the idea that his unprotected penis "might"  have touched your vagina is a bit "out there".  You would know if meaningful contact had occurred.  Your anxiety is getting to you.

Finally, your negative DUO test at this time would have detected over 95% of HIV infections acquired 28 days ago.  This, combined with the extraordinarily low risk of the events you describe essentially rule out the possibility of having gotten HIV form the encounter you describe.  

Please stop looking at the internet.  Your situation, like that of many of our clients represents a great example of the power of the internet not only to inform but also to mislead.  While there is much useful information available on the internet, much of it is also taken out of context or a bit unbalanced and some of it is just plain wrong.

Let's try another analogy.  From all that you've told me, your risk for HIV is about as likely that you will be hit by a tidal wave while reading my response.  neither possiblity is somethig for you to worry about.  EWH

[jane884]

Oh and yesterday I got a sore throat which for some reason just set me off again.  I need to stop trawling through the internet.