Had unprotected sex 3 times with same girl about 4 weeks ago - stresssed!

[stresssed]

I am Male and had unprotected vaginal sex 3 times with a 35 year old female.  I pulled out each time if it matters.  The first time there was some blood from her but not the next two times.  I got tested for everything (blood and urine samples were taken) at 12 days.  All was negative.  I have not had any sicknesses or sores or pains or fevers, etc....since the encounters but I am very worried.  I have a significant other and have not been with since but I am running out of excuses.  

I am worried about all STD's / HIV / etc..  I do not want to spread anything but am I over worried?  I fear going to my local doctor due to family relations.  When can I be mostly assured that I will not spread anything?  HELP!

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Unless your casual partner is at high risk for HIV (injection drug user, regular partner of an IDU or gay/bi man, immigrant from a country with high rates of HIV/AIDS), then HIV is not a meaningful risk.  Statistically, the chance of other STDs (chlamydia, etc) is much higher, but assuming your urine tests included chlamydia and gonorrhea, you can be sure those are not a problem--and statistically, they were the greatest risk.  However, that depends to a giant degree on your casual partner's sexual lifestyle, which you say nothing about.  If she is an old friend without a particularly adventurous sex life, it's very different than if she is, say, someone you met in a bar and had sex with the same night.

Useful HIV testing can be done any time ~4 weeks after the event.   Syphilis requires 6 weeks and herpes 3-4 months.  However, the risk of either of those, in the absence of symptoms (genital sores), is low -- but again, that depends a lot on your casual partner's sexual lifestyle.

But of course I make no guarantees that someone isn't infected.  For further reassurance, you could visit your local health department STD clinic.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[stresssed]

Thank you for the quick answer!

What kind of time frame would the symptoms of Syphilis / Herpes show up on me?  What are the symptoms besides sores?  

I am unsure to her past.  She is married, has a small child (3-4 years old) has a professional office job, is caucasian, but sounds like I may not have been her first out of marriage fling.

I am trying to get her to take the tests.  If she comes back negative on all accounts at ~4 weeks would that be almost fullproof?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Herpes symptoms generally show up within a week, sometimes as long as 3 weeks; syphilis 2-4 weeks after exposure.

Sounds like a low risk partner from an STD standpoint. If she says she is confident she isn't infected, I suggest you take that at face value and not press her to be tested on account of your anxieties.