Thank you for your response. It really helped to calm my fears.
From a risk assessment perspective, you didn't really need HIV testing at all; your risk was too low, given the consistent condom use for vaginal sex. Fingering is not risky at all. However, I understand why you were nervous, especially with respect to your urethral and eye symptoms (more about that below).
But since you were tested: With HIV tests currently in use, it is rare that testing is required more than 6-8 weeks after a potential exposure. However, from your description you had only a PCR test for HIV; you don't mention ELISA or other antibody test. The PCR test has not been studied for use in situations like yours, and although it should pick up all infections by 8 weeks, it might miss a few. In addition to being less reliable, it's a LOT more expensive! Have an antibody test if not yet done, or if done at 3 weeks, which was too early. (This does not mean I think there actually was significant HIV risk here. There was not.)
You probably had an adenovirus infection. Most adenoviruses cause garden variety colds, but a few strains -- notably adenovirus type 19 -- can cause urethritis and conjunctivitis (pink-eye). As you found, it clears up on its own. Urethral ADV-19 can be acauired by oral sex, or you could have caught it just by kissing or other semi-sexual contact. It isn't possible to know whether you caught it from a sex worker or elsewhere, but it doesn't matter.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD