Non-insertive infection question. Overwhelming anxiety.

[RickM315]

After a long jerkoff session, my partner (who said he was HIV-) grabbed my uncircumcised penis and gave it a stroke or two with his hand covered in his own JUST-ejaculated sperm. My penis was a little swollen and seriously abraded from the long session. We showered right afterwards. For the next 3 days, my penis was pretty swollen but after it subsided I noticed a long area of deep red and moist-looking abrasions just under my penis' head.  7 days later I had swollen glands in my neck. 9 days out, I had a sore throat and noticed swollen glands under my arms. Last night and tonight (Day 13), I've had night sweats. BTW, I noticed the first symptoms before I knew they were consistent with ARS.
I've read that hand-to-genital transmission is highly unlikely. I've read that the virus loses it's ability to infect within an unspecified, but very short timeframe. I've also read that the virus can't infect outside the body at all, so there's 'no risk'. So, I start feeling okay. But then I read that the virus can infect given a 'portal of entry' through the mucous membrane (my very abraded inner foreskin). So, then I worry again. I've also read that even with a portal of entry, the virus needs to be 'pushed' into the portal. So, I start feeling okay.  But then I consider that my partner rubbed his hand up and down my extremely abraded penis right after coming. So I’m very anxious again. I've read on here that hand-to-genital infection is nearly impossible due to air inactivating the virus. Yet another site’s 'Fact Sheet' says that "it's possible for HIV to enter the penis through any open sores ... or through the cells in the mucous membrane in the foreskin or the head of the penis". But, is mucousal infection only likely in an insertive environment?
What is the probability that my experience has led to non-insertive infection?  If possible, I’d appreciate numbers instead of words (i.e., ‘1 in 100’ vs. ‘likely’).
Also, which test should I take at the 3 week mark?  

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum.  In preparing to address your question I read your other interactions on the community site and agree with all that was said, both by the Community members and by you when you realistically said that the purgatory-like condition of know knowing is probably worse than knowing, no matter what the answer is. I hope that my answers will help.  

I have neither seen, nor heard, nor read in the scientific literature or at meetings of a known cases of transmission of HIV by mutual masturbation, no matter how much of each others' genital secretions get on the other partner, no matter when the exposure occurred and no matter where the secretions wind up (open sores included).  does that mean it will never happen- no, I can’t say that but it makes the likelihood incredibly and immeasurably low.  Further the timing of your symptoms is a bit early for the onset of ARS an suggest to me that your current symptoms are due to some other process such as acquisition of another mono-like virus in the context of your ay-to-day life than anything else.  

So, what to do.  The most direct approach is to see if your partner will test at this time with a standard HIV antibody test.   If his test is negative at this time, there is virtually no risk that your symptoms are due to HIV.  Since his status is unknown, this is in his best interest as well as yours.  Alternatively, if this is not possible, if your symptoms are due to HIV, at this time a DUO (combined HIV p24 antigen/HIV antibody) test or its equivalent, the combination of a PCR for HIV and a standard HIV antibody test will be positive.  If the tests are negative, you can be sure that your symptoms are not due to the exposure you describe and breathe easy.  

I hope these comments are helpful.  Your chances of having HIV are immeasurably small.  Please let us know what you decide to do an of your test results.  EWH

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Glad to help. Take care.  EWH

[RickM315]

You were indeed correct - both tests came back negative.

I learned a lot from this experience, but one of the most telling lessons was that our bodies can manufacture a list of symptoms that very closely parody ARS.  I had sore throat, swollen glands (throat and under arms), night sweats and I thought I might also have had thrush.  So, even when you assured me my chances of contracting HIV were low, my mind was saying "yes, but what about ...".  I'm assuming that stress was the root of these symptoms.  When I saw my GP during this period, my blood pressure was through the roof.

Thanks for being the voice of reason.  Other sites only exacerbated my anxiety.  I appreciate the no-nonsense, direct response I received here.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I'm confident your results will be negative. Take care. EWH

[RickM315]

I've taken your advice and, just to be on the safe side, took the DUO test this morning with results due in two days.  I'll keep you updated.  I do NOT want to be the first incidence of transmission from mutual masturbation that makes it to your radar!  So, keep your fingers crossed.  ;-)