HELP!!

[4tricia16]

My husband had a heart attack and open heart surgery in November. I have tried so hard to be supportive and whatever it takes to make him happy but I seem to fail at every turn. He is just hateful and mean spirited since he has been back home.Is this normal? We have four girls and they are seeing their dad in a different way also. Can open heart surgery really be this bad because i don't see how marriages survive after if this is the case. Could someone please help me MAKE MY HUSBAND HAPPY AGAIN!!! I am really trying I am but i am lost on this.

[4tricia16]

thank all of you so much. I am really glad i posted here. With the love i have for my husband and kids I got scared. I know he will be alright but sometimes it just doesnt seem like we will ever get thru this. I am planning to talk to his doctor and pray it is just his emotions from the surgery. he is healing so good from the outside. Well than you and i will keep you posted maybe it can help someone else. keep us in your prayers please.

[larry4wine]

I have had 2 major heart attacks(42 and 58) and 2 open heart surgeries after each heart attack.. The first one I felt depressed for awhile and then I got over it.The second time I felt sorry for myself and asked why. I never got mean maybe short at times. When I started to go outside I stared to feel better. Staying in the house was depressing.
I think your husband needs to go thru his meds with his doctor. One of them is probable causing the problem. He might also join a cardiac rehab program at your local hospital. They really helped me.

[often]

I could be wrong, but I do believe that it is not unusual for these kinds of changes after heart surgery.  Be it the surgery, the meds, a combination of both... My bro-in-law became a real (fill in the expletive of your choice) after his bypass surgery.  You might want to talk to his doc, or even the person he is seeing.  You might also want to explain that it is affecting the kids...hang in there...it should get better.  Its not always easy when we have to face our immortality.....I was angry for months, and I didn't have a heart attack or surgery....

[KLB32]

I just started taking a beta blocker and I feel very cranky, like I have constant PMS.  I am not trying to make excuses for his behavior but it may very well be the side effects of his  medications.  My understanding is that after a heart attack, generally the person has to be put on several medications at once.  With all of those different side effects, he probably feels really lousy.

I hate to say it, but I am also in one of those, "poor me" phases right now and I have been snippy with alot of people.  I think it's common to see this when someone is diagnosed with a serious health problem.  Maybe he needs counseling?

Good luck!

[EFT56]

maybe check the Interactions with the meds hes on now.. see any could clash and cause mood swings or mind changing such as he has.  alot of times it is the medications.  though as it could be hes upset and cant deal with what he just had done to him.  depression was listed as no1 cause after heart operations were done.  maybe the professional will help him out and get him straight and back where he was! with a happy view on life and his family.   Yes the I have found Prayer helps us all, God does listen and ansures us all.  

Take care and well wishes, and God bless all.

[4tricia16]

You know I did look into the meds and all but most he had already been taking. I have panic disorder and its not like that. I really think he is just mad all the time. He is depressed and is talking to a professional about that. I remember my dad having open heart surgery and he was depressed but not mean. I dont know I will take anything at this point. I love him so much but he is really making me feel like he doesnt want to be here. It really does scare me. We have been married for 17 years and he has never been in the hospital let along surgery but wow what a change this has made. I was looking for some change for this surgery it is major but lord how i wished he would just yell scream or even talk to tell me what is going on.Any way i will look again at the meds and thank you for taking your time to help/ Thank you and prayers are welcome. Thanks again.

[EFT56]

Wow !  My Father had open heart surgery years back, the whole family noticed he was more on edge and not as nice to everyone !  the Doctors gave him a bag full of medications to take daily. it could be one or a few of the medications clashing, thus causing his mean moods to happen ? I know
when im taking my beta blocker ,I can get cranky and mean like a snake !  also depression sets in
and pannic attacks !  you might want to look up his meds and see if infact any show side effects ,such as change in moods -mood swings so on.. My uncle had angieoplastic and after his operation he was depressed for months !!   could be the meds !  might look into that ..
or maybe hes just upset, after haveing to get that operation done. -  

I good luck to you and hope your husband becomes happy soon !
;o)