Worried about my 4 year old son

[shahsa]

Hi everyone.....
I think I really could use some support from anyone out there....

due to the fact that my son's pediatrician heard a slight murmur in my son's cheast at his last visit we had a ecoho done on him yesterday. The cardiologist informed us that he has bicuspid aortic valve- I had never even heard of anything like this-he is a perfect 4 year old - no symptoms of anything- he told me the routine - as ny eyes filled with tears and my son was just stairing at me- he will need antibiotics whenever dental work is done or with any deep wounds that require stitches ....and while everyone in the medical feild keeps telling me that this is no "big deal" and he will be fine- I haven't stopped crying in two days - I am so sad and wooried about his future and the future problems he might face- I feel so alone - I have nobody to talk to because I don't even want to tell my friends that he has this (don't want anyone to look at him differently)but everytime I look at my 4 year old little boy my eyes just fill up with tears- I am so scared for him........everything that I am reading out there suggests that in the 4th or 5th decade of life problems will arise - if not sooner

I know you can't protect your kids from everything - I just feel so upset about this

thanks for reading

I would really appriciate any advice out there

I am also pregnant and this is probably taking such a toll on the baby inside of my- all the crying can't be good- i really need help

[lilCharlie]

Im sorry for the issues facing your son.  But it seems that if the doctors are not worried, neither should you.  Be glad there is medication to help his problems so other complications dont occur when he has surgery and/or dental work.

As for trying to protect him, I think we all understand your pain.  We all want to protect the one's we love, be glad its not something worse and move on for your sons sake.  

What I would do in this situation is tell him about his medical issue when he gets older, tell him all it entails and give him support when the time is right.  In this day and age when we all struggle with anxiety and depression, making sure he relizes he can still have a full long life with his problem will be very valuable.  :)

[shahsa]

Thanks for replying......
it's just so sad that he has to worry about this for the rest of his life......he is only 4 and I just feel so bad.

thanks for telling me about your co worker- good to hear that she has no complications from it

I have read bicuspid aortic valve is common about 20 in 1000 people have this condition- just it seems to scare me when I read about all the complications that can arise from having this and there is nothing I can do to fix him

[Dukk1975]

A friend of mine here at work has that. She takes a pill before they do dental work. She's 58, no problems, no skips, no other medicine.

I was listening to Oprah and Friends- Dr. Oz yesterday and he described a similar problem- said it was so so so common and that a large percentage of people with it- maybe 99% have absolutely no problem with it and don't even know they have it. I think your son will be fine.

[fearfactor]

I know it may sound trite, but if your doctor told you it is nothing to worry about, then you should believe him or her.  They wouldn't lie to you about the true implications of your son's condition.  I understand how you feel because my family doctor told me he thought my daughter had a heart murmur and that she needed to be evaluated by a cardiologist.  I was very afraid, but the cardiologist listened to her heart and examined her and told us she didn't have a heart murmur at all and not to worry about her.  From what I understand, bicuspid aortic valve is not serious and your son should be fine.  Try to remember that and try to stay strong for him and the baby you're carrying.  Believe me, I understand about worrying about your kids but if the doctor said it is not serious, then take his or her advice and don't worry.