I feel like I am losing it!!!!

[Sunshine47]

Hey guys. I am sure this is not going to be an upbeat post. I  feel as though I am losing it, I mean truly. My faith, my strength, my power to overcome. I am so DEPRESSED I feel like all I can do is sleep. I want my heart to be normal but to us on here what is that? I get my monitor tomorrow. I am not thrilled about wearing it for a month and having to wait and be aggravated with this for a whole other month. I am worried that when I make a recording and call it in that they are going to send me packing to the ER and that would scare the **** right out of me. I wore one before but everything was okay. They never sent me. Now my heart is having more frequent ones than before the ablation but it is making me insane because I am worried it might be something that can't be fixed and I am going to be stuck feeling this way right on. If that was so I don't know how long I could put up with it,My compassion for life is great, but my inabilities to do anything but sit is really getting me down. I didn't take my meds last night I fell asleep and they couldn't get me awake long enough to shove it down me but when I woke up I felt good. No extra beats no skips. So I thought I won't take my morning dose either and just see if I can piece it together, That lasted until about 3 and they started, So I took 50 mgs instead of 100. ATENOLOL.That seemed to be okay but around 5 they were running wild. I started getting scared and started getting deeper and deeper breaths until I worked myself into one big mess. I am having them as I write but one about every 6 beat. I am wondering if my meds could be causing the severity of them. Does anyone know if the Beta Blocker could make them worse, I also take Xanax but if I didn't take it I would be crazy. I need some advice. I haven't researched my meds but there is a phamacist here that works with your meds and helps you see what works for you and against you. I know I am grabbing at straws. I want to call my doc and say I need help now, I can't wait another month. I guess she is doing all that I will allow her, I refused a stress test and an echo because of my experience before. I had both and was told my heart was A-OK and 2 weeks later landed in the ER 3 times in one day and ICU and then whisked off to the Cath lab for an ablation(Emergency). I think that they are basically unreliable. I want to keep the FAITH and be strong but my mind is not allowing me to do that right now. I want peace again. My family is planning a trip to the beach but if I feel like I do now I won't be going. I am to scared to go that far from home. Everyone please keep me in your prayers. I am scared of doing something foolish. I am a religious person but I am having bad thoughts. I know I need help.. It is the not knowing that is making me crazy, Any advice or thoughts on my prob will be appreciated.

Thanks guys for all your support,
Karen

[terri716]

Hi Karen
Your life sounds like mine. I've been having palpitations for over 20 years. I believe thats why I developed Panic Disorder. I've been on Atenolol for 18 years. I also take Xanax when I need it, which is alot lately. It seems like the older I get the worse this condition gets. I know it does not help to worry. That just makes it worse. I know it helps me just to have someone to talk to who is understanding.

Terri

[emma0319]

I have psvt and a realtive of mine developed similar symptoms last year.  I suggested she go to a cardiologist which she did and he determined that Xanex was her culprit.  After taking Xanex for a short period of time some people go through a withdraw and those sympstoms feel just like svt.  She stopped taking the Xanex and never had another problem.

[WvMomof3]

Well...I went for my 2nd opinion today...was told the same thing...it is NOTHING and don't worry...Soooooo...I am making me an apt with a psychiatrist tomorrow...My blood pressure was even up today in his office...my bp is NEVER high...lol...I had worked myself into a huge fit...today was bad...really bad...Please let me know if u got your monitor today....Much love and *Huggss*.....

[iamfaithful]

I am so sorry that you are having a bad spell.  It is really hard to live with this condition. And even though I don't have the same exact symptoms you have I know how it feels to be SO depressed rtht you just sit and cry and you feel like your faith has left you.  You know what you believe and you WANT to have faith, you want to lean on God, but it is so VERY hard.  We pray and pray and as soon as we think "ah, I have finally been healed, the Lord has heard my cry" it comes back with a vengance!  I tell you Karen, it's a rough journey but obviously he KNEW that you could handle it "he doesn't give you more then you can bear."  I am not trying to sound preachy and I hope I'm not coming off that way, but I just want you to know that God WILL make a way for you.  Please, please don't give up.  I know it may seem like you are at the end of the rope, but keep the faith and you are GOING to be blessed.    Karen, I am talking to you as much (really more) as I am talking to myself.

I really hope you are feeling better and I hope you can find that peace that only He can give you.

[Sunshine47]

To all that responded to my post I really appreciate it. You know that your alls friendship and support means to much to me. I say I feel like giving up but God won't allow me too. He is my rock. I call on him daily and I know that he is not pleased that I am thinking bad thoughts. I know that things will work out. I do have faith but sometimes I have to remind myself that I can survive. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I need all that I can get. I got my monitor today and it is diff, from the one I wore before. This one I just put up to my chest with no leads. That is awesome because the pads blister me. It scares me to think of using it though. They did a reading at the docs this morning but I haven't used it anymore today because I haven't felt anything diff. I will keep you guys posted. I want to be better. I really do. I know I may have to live with it but it will be hard. Today the guy that fixed me up with the monitor told me that ablations were short lived. I was shocked. I am confused because I was told that mine was 98 to 99percent successful. Oh well we will see. Thanks again everybody for your warm friendship and concern.
Big hugs from me to you guys and may God Bless you all
Karen

[pahrumpkin]

I'm going through the same thing...I have PAC's.  I've had 24-hour monitors, event monitors, emergency room visits, hospital stays, etc.  They always tell me it's nothing to worry about...they are benign.  I had quite a bout of them last summer and ended up calling 911.  Spent a day in the hospital and they did every test under the sun.  Of course, I was fine.  Went several months with just a few a day, then a month ago, they started coming frequently...several an hour.  More in morning and much more when I'm lying in bed trying to get some sleep.  I, too, am so tired of these.  I'm afraid to exercise because I'm afraid of increasing my heart rate.  

I'm on 25 mg of Atenolol (I take 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at bedtime).  I also take 10 mg. Paxil 1x day and Ativan, as needed.  

I don't want to be afraid anymore...it just takes the joy out of life.  

Thanks for listening to me.