End Stage Death...

[Pacheco]

Hi my name is Mary,
my step dad is dying and at the end of his

[Lonestar823]

Ken, Your Judy is so young.  She's the very same age as my oldest brother.  One of seven.  Yup, I have seven of them.  I did 73 weeks of a drug called infergen so trust me, I believe you when you talk about chemo brain.  I only discovered this site when I was so far into treatment I had lost my ability to think.  I couldn't write or read with any comprehension and I lost my speaking voice as well.  I finished about 12 weeks ago and I still don't feel like the same person. I couldn't or was unable to take part in discussions. Still can't mostly. I only read and tried to remember as much as I could.  On top of that I'm kinda the shy, lone dog type and so it isn't easy for me to initiate in a discussion.  I think you may have better advice if you start a new thread and post your questions anew.  There are so many knowledgeable people who speak here.  Honestly, I think some know more than my doctor.  That way, your question will be at the top of the page and you'll get more input.  I hang out here at the bottom alone, still trying to exercise my brain and to gain knowledge and to learn how to even use this darned site. ; ]  (My nephew Timothy tells me that means a wink and a smile. )  I'm not so computer savvy.  I brought my little Mum to hospital today.  She's 80 and is very frail.  I am her last child and only daughter and I am sad and weary this evening.  Please try to post at the top, okay?  I just know you'll get expert and thoughtful answers.  If you ever feel like venting I have an email on AOL.  It's MsLittleLoneStar.  I'm not too sure of the rules here.  Maybe I'm not supposed to post that.  I thought of you and Judy off and on all day.  
Rebecca

[ss418]

Thanks again. Yes, everytime she talks to any of the doctors I am always there, the same with treatments, I am there to ask questions and remember things Judy does not, don't let anyone ever tell you that chemo brain is not real. We asked about just removing the parts of the liver that are affected but the answer was "there would not be enough liver left to support life. A liver transplant is out of the question because she has another tumor in the left side of her belly, probably attached to the colon. This tumor has shrunk from 5in diameter to 2in, from chemo treatments, and is probably dead and is being resorbed into the body. We are told the rules do not allow a transplant into an active cancer patient. WE are Christians and have hope that god will listen to the thousands of prayers for Judy he is getting. Judy is an amazing lady whose smile lights up everyone she meets, and I hope God can see the value of keeping her around for many more years. She is only 64 years old.
Thank you for letting vent, it is not always easy to say some things to friends and family...Ken

[Lonestar823]

I wish to God I was more knowledgeable in hopes I could help you.  Is liver transplant out of the question?  Have you spoken with your wife's doctor about this?  I've read about many people on this site who know of others who have done it successfully.    My friend didn't really accept his passing until the last few weeks of his life.  The time I spent with him just doing ordinary things changed me profoundly.  I'll never be the same little lonestar again.  My character and my compassion have deepened and I'll always feel like I've come from far, far away.   Heartbreaking as it was and always will be for me, I would never trade one second of what we shared for anything.  Forty six years together?  Then you are her and she is you.  I can't even fathom what you are going through.   No one will ever tell you how long and exactly what to expect.  Anything can happen, even miracles. You are welcome here whenever you need to talk.  

Sorry, looks like I posted twice but the first one was blank.

[Lonestar823]

I wish to God I was more knowledgeable in hopes I could help you.  Is liver transplant out of the question?  Have you spoken with your wife's doctor about this?  I've read about many people on this site who know of others who have done it successfully.  It's really a rarity nowadays to see a soldier like your wife who doesn't give up easily.  My friend didn't really accept his passing until the last few weeks of his life.  The time I spent with him just doing ordinary things changed me profoundly. I'll never be the same little lonestar again.  I'm a deeper, more compassionate and feel like I'm from far, far away.  As heartbreaking as it was and always will be for me, I would never trade one second of what we shared for anything and I never gave up.  I believed he had a chance until the last moment. Noah died free which is what he wanted.  No hospitals.
Forty seven years together?  Then you are she and she is you.  I can't even fathom what you are going through.   No one will ever tell you how long and exactly what to expect.  Anything can happen, even miracles. SS, anytime you need to talk, Lonestar will listen.

[ss418]

Thank you for the response and advise. As you know, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to face, not only facing the loss of my wife of 46 years, but also watching her go through this terrible ordeal and feeling so powerless to do anything but pray with her, love her and try not to make it seem hopeless. She is not one to ever give up.

[Lonestar823]

I saw your other post at the top. I think it was you anyway. The symptoms your wife is experiencing sound very similar to my friend Noah's towards the end of his life.  He also tried to use laxatives to relieve the pressure.  Nothing worked.  He just became weaker and weaker as the weeks passed.  I expect you and your wife will experience what Noah and I experienced.  Please contact Hospice. They will not let your wife suffer.  I don't know how we would have managed without them.  Noah stayed at home but they came every day. I once saw someone who went to hospital to try to stay alive with end liver disease.  I would choose Noah's route.  Bless you both.