FEAR GUILT AND ANGER

[bobbyullc]

i have been reading some past posts and have noticed a thread running around in many of them. that is fear,guilt and anger.

i thing the worste tradgedy of hep c is that so many heppers waste so much of their time nursing these emotions. they are all SELF INFLICTED.

FEAR, to waste even one hour fearing something that probably will never happen is a crime. why ruin what time we have left on this earth?

GUILT, i was sick, i felt no more guilt than if i had a cold.

ANGER, at who. no one did this to me on purpose? why be angry and at who.

this is a day that GOD has given us to enjoy. ENJOY IT !
BOBBY

[GrandOak]

Thank you for your testimony.  It's good to know I'm not the only one who would be labeled "stupid" here by some.  Like Missy I did feel anger and disappointment, but like yourself, I was not afraid, despite what some mind-readers claim.

I also recall more than once during tx when someone would ask how I was and I would reply "still here".  They then replied, "well every day you wake up above ground is a good day", to which I would reply, "I don't know considering where I would be if I wasn't on this side of the ground". I think you know what I mean.

For others it seems that it will remain the proverbial mystery on how anyone can not focus upon profitting to gain the world.

[mikesimon]

You also once said it's a scary thing when you know you have this disease and you read about all the side effects. That's a paraphrase but it's very close. Check the archives and you'll see. You said you treated to "hopefully remove the risk of infecting my family or others." I can relate to the fact that you are afraid of infecting your family. So you probably took steps to insure that did not happen. I don't see why you took issue with what I said. Bobby said: "FEAR, to waste even one hour fearing something that probably will never happen is a crime. why ruin what time we have left on this earth?" I understood the thrust of that statement to be that nothing would come of this disease - like death or severe illness or transplant or infecting anyone else. When I speak of fear I am not referring to a trembling fright filled existence. I am referring to the realization that this disease is serious and dangerous and to think otherwise is foolish and stupid. And one can be spirit filled and joyous and religious too and yet still have fear and that's why we treat and work to get well. You have recently become concerned with your blood sugar. I call that fear but maybe I am a wimp. I am a diabetic and I don't quiver and quake and wring my hands. I work to control my blood sugar because I am afraid that if my blood sugar is uncontrolled I might go blind, suffer a stroke or lose a limb. If I was not afraid of those complications I probably wouldn't try to control my blood sugar but I do try because I am afraid. I almost feel as though this is a macho contest or a spiritual contest and that's just silly. I love life and I feel very fortunate to be here and I would like to stick around and be as healthy as I can. But, I'm still going to ride my motorcycles because I am not that scared ... or maybe I'm just stupid. Yeah, I probably am - or maybe I'm both. Have a good day but don't play with any brown recluse spiders please. Mike

[pigeonca]

It's interesting that people feel guilt because IVDU may have caused their hcv.  Isn't this puritanism?  One out of three Americans is obese, but I doubt whether many of them feel guilt for having a disease that was caused by a lifestyle of food abuse.

[susan400]

Guilt, yes, I've have a lot of guilt for the life I led in my earlier lifestyle.  But, I believe that the Lord has forgiven me and it's give me the incentive to try to live differently.

Fear, yes, I've felt fear.  As a great spiritual leader and are country said, "I'm not afraid of dying, but I'm afraid of the process of dying."   I can relate to that.  I'd rather die of natural causes, peacefully in my sleep as opposed to a lingering death of slow causes like liver failure.  So, I fight.

Acceptance--I'm getting there.

Anger-at times.  I get angry when well meaning people are always trying to question my decisions like I'm a 5 year old instead of a grown woman w/a mind and insights and the ability to research my choices and the wisdom to pray and ask God for guidance.  I do get angry because it feels to me that certain people treat me like I'm wrong if I don't quit treating and go off and do the natural-alternative medicine thing.  I had that happen the other day with my hairdresser.  I didn't say anything to him, but I felt mad about that.  He was giving me his rather strong opinions about the whole subject.  People shouldn't question another persons choices in their own medical decisions.  

Mike-I think that you have been through so much with this illness and you do know all about these emotions w/being the transplant survivor that you are.  I admire your determination.

I also believe that the good Lord gave us our emotions.  He experienced them when he was here.  He got angry.  He got sad.   So, why would we be any different?    

Susan

[bobbyullc]

i agree we all should be concerned but to let it take over and ruin our lives is wasteful.
i am afraid of getting hit by a truck but do not lay awake worrying about it. fear made me tx but did not overwhelm me.

[GrandmaA]

I assume you are not on treatment. Emotions are ampliphied on treatment. We can't help it, it's the meds. I don't get riba rage but I might start crying.