Aa
Honesty)
I know you all can'y undestand why I drink, I'll try to explain alittle. I have had a pretty tough life, and started having severe anxiety and panic attacks a few years ago. The docs put me on klonopin. I never took more than was precribed but I stiil got very addicted. I quit taking it and went through 12 days of HELL. I did'nt sleep or eat for those days. They finally put me back on the meds. I slowly weaned myself off the meds and have'nt taken any for a year and a half. My point is when I drink I don't have anxiety or panic attacks, it goes away. I know that I have to quit just like I did with the pills, and I will, but it's gonna take a little time like with the pills. I DID finally get off the pills, so I know I will quit drinking. Just a little background for you all. Now my husband, thats another story. I'm not sure why he drinks, and he's the one who really needs to quit. He has Hep c, I don't. I've posted his numbers on here for you all to see. My liver tests were normal and I don't have hep c. I know some of you are very ticked off at me, I wish you were'nt. I'm trying. Talking to you all has helped me more than anything. I look forward to reading your posts everyday. Some of the posts from yesterday hurt alot. I was surprised. I've come to care about you all and your illness. I know how you all feel about drinking, so I won't say anymore about that until we've both quit. I would like to continue to talk about the hep c though. Thanks again
Calming supplements you might want to look into. Do research on the net or find an ND. All for depression, cognitive value and calming effects....
SAMe - 400mg in the AM on an empty stomach. You can also look into Phosphatidylserine, Tryptophan, and Theanine. They are all amino acids and work on anti depression and calming. I know Theanine is a caffeine antagonist. If you get hyper on caffeine, try that. It's in green tea, which is why the caffeine in it doesn't make you hyper. It cancels it out. Tryptophan is in turkey, and given to pets to calm them down.
You can also try EFT.
http://www.emofree.com/articles.aspx?id=20
Good Luck.
SAMe - 400mg in the AM on an empty stomach. You can also look into Phosphatidylserine, Tryptophan, and Theanine. They are all amino acids and work on anti depression and calming. I know Theanine is a caffeine antagonist. If you get hyper on caffeine, try that. It's in green tea, which is why the caffeine in it doesn't make you hyper. It cancels it out. Tryptophan is in turkey, and given to pets to calm them down.
You can also try EFT.
http://www.emofree.com/articles.aspx?id=20
Good Luck.
everyone has a "reason" why they drink. i had mine, none of them are unique. question is- do you want to stop and if so, why can't you? i would say your husband should be asking himself the same question. since with hep C alchoholism is much more dangerous. if you both can't stop, get help. it's out there.
the drinking issue is not something you can separate out from the hep c experience here at the forum. it needs to be dealt with honestly and directly.
i used to drink pretty regular, drugs occassionally and smoked cigarettes too. how did i quit? not all happened at the same time, but when i did i didn't even think how, but i can reflect,
the drugs, i realized before i even stopped that i didn't even imagine that is something i would do while raising a family. i guess i always saw that behavior as experimental and transient. wheni quit i had to change my associations. obviously if they did drugs it would not be easy for me to quit.
the cigarettes, this was harder, initially due to childbearing but, as i returned to it, was then health and financial that i desired to stop. to make this happen i couldn't be around people who smoked for at least 3 or more months until the cravings left me.
the drinking came last, i was not a heavy or regular drinker, but i could not hold my alcohol. i would say i would stop at 2 , them maybe 3, but really is was i would stop counting but it would end up being 5 (i liked beer). i didn't like myself on alcohol, didn't like the things i did. when i decided to quit i found being sober was no fun around people who are drunk. had to find new friends.
you say you drink to cope, i can understand that, but even that can be resolved, you can learn new ways to cope. what are the triggers that make you feel you need that drink to cope. change your behavior, do something different instead of going for the alcohol, go for a walk, drive to the store, join a gym work out, find a friend for confident who doesn't drink, tell someone you are trying to change a behavior, there is something powerful in that, you tell someone you want to change something about yourself, and you truly do,
you hold yourself to a higher accountability, and you try harder.
you are married and you seem to be the healthier one, your husband really needs you to support him. you have to stop drinking to help him. don't be an enabler by joining in. hep c, cirrosis and cancer of the liver and all the other complications that can come with it....it's really not a pretty way to go. take a hand any one will do and reach around behind you, now feel that boney protrusion in the middle of your back, its called a spine, use it.
i used to drink pretty regular, drugs occassionally and smoked cigarettes too. how did i quit? not all happened at the same time, but when i did i didn't even think how, but i can reflect,
the drugs, i realized before i even stopped that i didn't even imagine that is something i would do while raising a family. i guess i always saw that behavior as experimental and transient. wheni quit i had to change my associations. obviously if they did drugs it would not be easy for me to quit.
the cigarettes, this was harder, initially due to childbearing but, as i returned to it, was then health and financial that i desired to stop. to make this happen i couldn't be around people who smoked for at least 3 or more months until the cravings left me.
the drinking came last, i was not a heavy or regular drinker, but i could not hold my alcohol. i would say i would stop at 2 , them maybe 3, but really is was i would stop counting but it would end up being 5 (i liked beer). i didn't like myself on alcohol, didn't like the things i did. when i decided to quit i found being sober was no fun around people who are drunk. had to find new friends.
you say you drink to cope, i can understand that, but even that can be resolved, you can learn new ways to cope. what are the triggers that make you feel you need that drink to cope. change your behavior, do something different instead of going for the alcohol, go for a walk, drive to the store, join a gym work out, find a friend for confident who doesn't drink, tell someone you are trying to change a behavior, there is something powerful in that, you tell someone you want to change something about yourself, and you truly do,
you hold yourself to a higher accountability, and you try harder.
you are married and you seem to be the healthier one, your husband really needs you to support him. you have to stop drinking to help him. don't be an enabler by joining in. hep c, cirrosis and cancer of the liver and all the other complications that can come with it....it's really not a pretty way to go. take a hand any one will do and reach around behind you, now feel that boney protrusion in the middle of your back, its called a spine, use it.
Honestly, you drink because you are an alcoholic, You are in effect allergic to alcohol and that is why one drink is never enough and you crave to drink it.
Sadly most alcoholics have had hard lives because alcoholism is a genetic disease and mostly that means it's been in generation before generation ruinning lives.
It's a horrible disease to have and it truly DOES ruin lives.
Most of us alcoholics don't want to not drink - but we know that we simply cannot. ESPECIALLY with advanced liver damage (which most likely having hepc and drinking you probably have). It WILL lead to death. Pretty much if you continue to drink nothing can stop that. It is inevitable. The question is really just WHEN?
I'm sorry but there just isn't much more that can honestly be said about it. It's just fact.
You seriously need to think about perhaps going into an inpatient place where they can HELP you. If you can be sober for a year then someone will probably be willing to put you on treatment. But almost all doctors know that it's absurd to treat an active alcoholic and so they won't.
There ARE places that can help you. You have to WANT to be helped.
Until you stop drinking - I wouldn't even worry about the hepatitis at all. The alcoholism is going to kill you quicker. If you were just an alc without hep you might have a chance but this way............it's just a death sentence waiting to happen and it's YOUR decision to decide what you want.
Good luck.
Sadly most alcoholics have had hard lives because alcoholism is a genetic disease and mostly that means it's been in generation before generation ruinning lives.
It's a horrible disease to have and it truly DOES ruin lives.
Most of us alcoholics don't want to not drink - but we know that we simply cannot. ESPECIALLY with advanced liver damage (which most likely having hepc and drinking you probably have). It WILL lead to death. Pretty much if you continue to drink nothing can stop that. It is inevitable. The question is really just WHEN?
I'm sorry but there just isn't much more that can honestly be said about it. It's just fact.
You seriously need to think about perhaps going into an inpatient place where they can HELP you. If you can be sober for a year then someone will probably be willing to put you on treatment. But almost all doctors know that it's absurd to treat an active alcoholic and so they won't.
There ARE places that can help you. You have to WANT to be helped.
Until you stop drinking - I wouldn't even worry about the hepatitis at all. The alcoholism is going to kill you quicker. If you were just an alc without hep you might have a chance but this way............it's just a death sentence waiting to happen and it's YOUR decision to decide what you want.
Good luck.
Sorry that is all slightly misworded I know your husband HAS hepc but it's all the same for both of you. If you simply refuse to quit he is never going to have a snowballs chance in hell of quitting either and then...you'd better have a will drawn up because you will need it.
Alcoholism kills and so does hepatitisC they don't have to but when you encourage them to run rampant over your life.......they will.
There are many ways to "cope" including proper medications. That is a nice excuse to drink but like said above...we all used the excuses and they are all very generic and we all know them all.
You drink because you haven't yet decided and leanred how to stop. ANYONE who seriously wants to stop and uses a 12 step program will stop.
But you have to want to and be willing to and right now it seems like drinking is more important than keeping your husband alive.
Otherwise a good therapist and a bottle of Paxill could do the trick on 'coping'. Stop using 'excuses' and instead put your mind to doing something positive. Before you both end up dead.
Alcoholism kills and so does hepatitisC they don't have to but when you encourage them to run rampant over your life.......they will.
There are many ways to "cope" including proper medications. That is a nice excuse to drink but like said above...we all used the excuses and they are all very generic and we all know them all.
You drink because you haven't yet decided and leanred how to stop. ANYONE who seriously wants to stop and uses a 12 step program will stop.
But you have to want to and be willing to and right now it seems like drinking is more important than keeping your husband alive.
Otherwise a good therapist and a bottle of Paxill could do the trick on 'coping'. Stop using 'excuses' and instead put your mind to doing something positive. Before you both end up dead.
Hi there,
I have been keeping up with most of your post. The people here are not mad at you, they know where you are right now in your disease and they know what it takes to accomplish what you need to do. It is hard to read the compassion in words.
My best suggestion to you is go and get some anti-depressants, use those to stop you anxiety and panic attacks. The alcohol will only make it WORST in the long run. Anti-D's are better than alcohol. I have been put on Lexapro recently because it is better for my liver than the others.
We have all used our excuses for what ever addiction we had. I know I used mine. My problem was not alcohol, it was METH, but don't mistake me, they are all addictions and one is no different to kick than another, it is just a different drug. You need to work your side of the street for yourself and let your husband work his side of the street. When you do decide to quit, you cannot do it for your husband, nor your marrage, YOU have to quit for YOU and that is the only way to conquer. You need to figure out what issue is there that keeps sending me in that direction and then you need to work out what that is and be able to discard the issue once you have plowed through it. I do not mean all you do is mention the issue and say okay now I will throw it out. You have to be honestly and truely okay with the resolve when you throw it out of your closet or it will come back to haunt you. You have to get to a point that when the subject surfaces you are okay with it and it does not drive you to want to drink to resolve it; you will be at a point in sobriety where the issues do not hurt you anymore.
I think you mentioned you were married about 2 years ago, and that your anxiety attacks have gotten worst in the last 2 years. Be true to yourself and open your eyes and ears and listen to your heart. You sound like someone crying out for help so that puts you in the right direction, now you have to make the decision to want to go down that path and once you do, you will see in time your life will change for the better.
So, HONEY, do not take things posted here as mean wording or dislike, it is only harsh words, because we know the facts and straight to the point is what you need to hear right now. I would like to see you post again one day and say< I DID IT and I did it for myself. I will be waiting to see that post I hope in the near future.
Good Luck and
Prayers are with you,
Cajun
I have been keeping up with most of your post. The people here are not mad at you, they know where you are right now in your disease and they know what it takes to accomplish what you need to do. It is hard to read the compassion in words.
My best suggestion to you is go and get some anti-depressants, use those to stop you anxiety and panic attacks. The alcohol will only make it WORST in the long run. Anti-D's are better than alcohol. I have been put on Lexapro recently because it is better for my liver than the others.
We have all used our excuses for what ever addiction we had. I know I used mine. My problem was not alcohol, it was METH, but don't mistake me, they are all addictions and one is no different to kick than another, it is just a different drug. You need to work your side of the street for yourself and let your husband work his side of the street. When you do decide to quit, you cannot do it for your husband, nor your marrage, YOU have to quit for YOU and that is the only way to conquer. You need to figure out what issue is there that keeps sending me in that direction and then you need to work out what that is and be able to discard the issue once you have plowed through it. I do not mean all you do is mention the issue and say okay now I will throw it out. You have to be honestly and truely okay with the resolve when you throw it out of your closet or it will come back to haunt you. You have to get to a point that when the subject surfaces you are okay with it and it does not drive you to want to drink to resolve it; you will be at a point in sobriety where the issues do not hurt you anymore.
I think you mentioned you were married about 2 years ago, and that your anxiety attacks have gotten worst in the last 2 years. Be true to yourself and open your eyes and ears and listen to your heart. You sound like someone crying out for help so that puts you in the right direction, now you have to make the decision to want to go down that path and once you do, you will see in time your life will change for the better.
So, HONEY, do not take things posted here as mean wording or dislike, it is only harsh words, because we know the facts and straight to the point is what you need to hear right now. I would like to see you post again one day and say< I DID IT and I did it for myself. I will be waiting to see that post I hope in the near future.
Good Luck and
Prayers are with you,
Cajun
cajun -that was well said.
kimber - just because i am direct please don't think i dislike you or disapprove. i really hope the best for you and your husband, but it is frustrating to hear what you are going through and that you are not proactive in this.
you shared your experience we provided support and input, you have to decide and do the work for yourself.
and really --good luck to you. i pray you make the decision that is right for you.
kimber - just because i am direct please don't think i dislike you or disapprove. i really hope the best for you and your husband, but it is frustrating to hear what you are going through and that you are not proactive in this.
you shared your experience we provided support and input, you have to decide and do the work for yourself.
and really --good luck to you. i pray you make the decision that is right for you.
Thank you, I think most of us have been there in more ways than one or one time or another in our lives. She seems to be struggling with alot right now and this is the only way I thought to help her. I have done my own 12 step about 17 years ago and I have not touched METH since. Did get to be secretary of the women's meetings once a week for 6 months, right after I completed 20 days in patient treatment. I did a physco drama treatment just before I left the facility, WOW what an eye opener and let me tell you it was DRAMA, but I felt a 1000 pounds lighter when it was over. The 6 month commitment helped me keep on the right track and an incentive to stay straight.
If I did not resolve the issues I would not have stayed clean. Today there is nothing that could anger me or hurt my feelings that would send me back to that direction. And, let me tell you there is sooooooooo much happening in my life right now that would have easily made me go out years ago, but today I take it one day at a time and I do not have the urges to go out and do Meth.
Cajun
If I did not resolve the issues I would not have stayed clean. Today there is nothing that could anger me or hurt my feelings that would send me back to that direction. And, let me tell you there is sooooooooo much happening in my life right now that would have easily made me go out years ago, but today I take it one day at a time and I do not have the urges to go out and do Meth.
Cajun
Hi, I ditto that no one is mad at you, in fact, I admire your honesty...I know it was probably pretty hard that you posted what you did...and let's face it, at least your candid and honest about something...not everyone would be...
I'd venture most every alcholic and/or drug addict has anxiety issues, they have trouble being in their own skin sober....
No one chooses to be like this, it's like what NYgirl says, it's a type of allery for many people...Everyone has reasons *why* they drink when they shouldn't..who WANTS to be an alcoholic? Every alcoholic wants to be able to control their drinking, they live for that...to just be a normal drinker and take it or leave it...but if that were the case, they wouldn't be alcoholics in the first place...
Don't know if you have HBO, or have access to it, but there is a real good program on addiction and recovery, with many scientists talking about all the latest data on these issues...they kind of explained it like this, as a neurotransmitter problem...when alcoholics drink, the dopamine and other neurotransmitters get triggered in perhaps a different way then non-alcoholics...
Then the brain craves those dopamine inducers like nothing else, even under catastrophic consequences, the addict believes deeply that they need these chemical to cope...I'm probably getting it wrong in some ways and leaving things out, but I think that's the gist of it..
This isn't necessarily a weakness or character issue, there are people who are set-up chemically to be addicts...pure and simple...it's a hard thing to surmount, many times the hardest things addicts will ever have to do, but life and living is worth it...hopefully to most people...
Where the bravery comes in, is to look at these issues with an open mind, squarely and honestly, and then DO something about them, if it doesn't take the first time, try and try again....It's not about shame or feeling guilty or sorry for yourself, that people are pointing you out and condemning you....those emotions can help keep people addicted in the first place....
I think it's great that some people can, say, get a diagnosis like this and then just stop...that's great...more power to them, they are luckier then most...
But not everyone can do this, many people need actual help from the outside...
At AA, you have somewhere to go when you have the heeby jeebies that come from not drinking or doping...people who can relate to what your going through, to help calm you down...
Many of them are committed to helping you (as a way of helping themselves) if you are saying one minute, "I've got to have a drink, now!", instead, you call one of them, and they'll come to pick you up to go to a meeting, or talk you down from the urge on the phone, etc...those people invented AA in the 30's and they took many, many years to find out what works best to help change an addicts coping mechanisms, to help make all the changes you need to live life sober...check into it, even if it's just for yourself, no one will bite you there, ha ha! you just might end up enjoying it, and feeling good to see that it can be done, you'll see people who have been sober for 1, 5, 10, 20, 30 years and more...it'll give you hope...
I'd venture most every alcholic and/or drug addict has anxiety issues, they have trouble being in their own skin sober....
No one chooses to be like this, it's like what NYgirl says, it's a type of allery for many people...Everyone has reasons *why* they drink when they shouldn't..who WANTS to be an alcoholic? Every alcoholic wants to be able to control their drinking, they live for that...to just be a normal drinker and take it or leave it...but if that were the case, they wouldn't be alcoholics in the first place...
Don't know if you have HBO, or have access to it, but there is a real good program on addiction and recovery, with many scientists talking about all the latest data on these issues...they kind of explained it like this, as a neurotransmitter problem...when alcoholics drink, the dopamine and other neurotransmitters get triggered in perhaps a different way then non-alcoholics...
Then the brain craves those dopamine inducers like nothing else, even under catastrophic consequences, the addict believes deeply that they need these chemical to cope...I'm probably getting it wrong in some ways and leaving things out, but I think that's the gist of it..
This isn't necessarily a weakness or character issue, there are people who are set-up chemically to be addicts...pure and simple...it's a hard thing to surmount, many times the hardest things addicts will ever have to do, but life and living is worth it...hopefully to most people...
Where the bravery comes in, is to look at these issues with an open mind, squarely and honestly, and then DO something about them, if it doesn't take the first time, try and try again....It's not about shame or feeling guilty or sorry for yourself, that people are pointing you out and condemning you....those emotions can help keep people addicted in the first place....
I think it's great that some people can, say, get a diagnosis like this and then just stop...that's great...more power to them, they are luckier then most...
But not everyone can do this, many people need actual help from the outside...
At AA, you have somewhere to go when you have the heeby jeebies that come from not drinking or doping...people who can relate to what your going through, to help calm you down...
Many of them are committed to helping you (as a way of helping themselves) if you are saying one minute, "I've got to have a drink, now!", instead, you call one of them, and they'll come to pick you up to go to a meeting, or talk you down from the urge on the phone, etc...those people invented AA in the 30's and they took many, many years to find out what works best to help change an addicts coping mechanisms, to help make all the changes you need to live life sober...check into it, even if it's just for yourself, no one will bite you there, ha ha! you just might end up enjoying it, and feeling good to see that it can be done, you'll see people who have been sober for 1, 5, 10, 20, 30 years and more...it'll give you hope...
For some people it's the permanence of NEVER indulging again - never to smoke, never to drink, never to overeat - whatever one's addiction might be. I totally sympathize with you because I'm working on a marijuana problem myself right now.
Last week a friend who has been cigarette-free for over 20 years told me her secret: She told herself she'd quit 'till she was 80, and if she lives that long, she'll reconsider. That seemed to do the trick. I'm betting that by the time she's 80, starting up again won't be worth the bother, and if she tries she probably won't even enjoy it.
You can do it...
Last week a friend who has been cigarette-free for over 20 years told me her secret: She told herself she'd quit 'till she was 80, and if she lives that long, she'll reconsider. That seemed to do the trick. I'm betting that by the time she's 80, starting up again won't be worth the bother, and if she tries she probably won't even enjoy it.
You can do it...
good point, that's why in AA they say to never look at this as a forever thing, no one can get their arms around a forever thing, that's too intimidating....they just say, do it "one day at a time"...or, one afternoon at a time, sometimes, one minute at a time...
I've heard a couple of wise treaters here say that's how they got through treatment, you'd know more about that though, how you feeling lately? Better and better I hope!
I've heard a couple of wise treaters here say that's how they got through treatment, you'd know more about that though, how you feeling lately? Better and better I hope!
I'm feeling terrific now, 7 weeks after stopping, until all of a sudden I get tired, and then I MUST take a nap. Yesterday I went 12 hours straight without any naps, and then boom! I just HAD to go to sleep - slept 11 hours. But that's way better than during tx. Still having trouble concentrating as well - sure hope that stops soon - considering investigating Provigil, but worried it might be too "speedy" for me. (I spent most of my adolescence on diet pills, couldn't understand why I was gritting my teeth much of the time.) How are you doing? Let's talk tomorrow or over the weekend.
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