Is it normal to be depressed ?

[brown_eyed_grl]

Im starting tx in three weeks and I am so depressed. I really need to snap out of it. I feel like Paris Hilton...just a big baby. I need to deal w/my sentence w/a stiff upper lip. Im sad and crying everyday. I've already projected that my 24 weeks will be he@l on earth. From what everyone had told me the anticipation is way worse then the actual thing.

I know you all think Im a big baby, but I cant help how I feel. I already feel like Im txing and I havent even started. I dont wanna take AD's b/c they make me feel like ***@**** whatever. Im SO sick of this disease I could scream!!!

WAAAH!!
Julia

[mikesimon]

http://www.docguide.com/
Preventing Relapse of Major Depression During Interferon-alpha Therapy for Hepatitis C-A Pilot Study.

Department of Psychiatry, The University of Oklahoma College of Medicine, Tulsa, 4502 East 41st Street, Tulsa, Oklahoma, 74135, USA, Michelle-***@****.

Depression is common in hepatitis C, exacerbated by interferon, and is a major reason for discontinuing interferon therapy. We aimed to determine (1) whether patients with a history of major depression could complete a course of peginterferon alpha-2a and ribavirin if pretreated with escitalopram and (2) the relapse rate of depression during the course of therapy in these subjects. Ten patients were enrolled in the study and treated with escitalopram. The Hamilton Depression Rating Scale (Ham-D) and other psychiatric scales were administered throughout the study. There were no statistically significant increases in mean Ham-D scores. No subjects were discontinued from the study due to depression relapse. Nine of 10 subjects maintained remission of depression throughout the study. We conclude that pretreatment with escitalopram in subjects with major depressive disorder in remission may prevent recurrence of major depression during a course of interferon and ribavirin therapy for hepatitis C.

Paroxetine for prevention of depressive symptoms induced by interferon-alpha and ribavirin for hepatitis C.
Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Emory University School of Medicine, Atlanta, GA, USA.

BACKGROUND: Whether antidepressants prevent depression during interferon-alpha/ribavirin treatment for hepatitis C virus infection has yet to be established. AIM: To investigate the use of paroxetine in a prospective, double-blind, placebo-controlled study for this indication. METHODS: Sixty-one hepatitis C virus-infected patients were randomly assigned to the antidepressant, paroxetine (n = 28), or placebo (n = 33), begun 2 weeks before and continued for 24 weeks during interferon-alpha/ribavirin treatment. Primary endpoints included development of major depression and severity of depressive symptoms measured by the Montgomery Asberg Depression Rating Scale (MADRS). RESULTS: Rates of major depression during the study were low (17%) and did not differ between groups. Nevertheless, using published MADRS cut-off scores, the percent of subjects who met criteria for mild, moderate or severe depression during interferon-alpha/ribavirin therapy was significantly lower in paroxetine- vs. placebo-treated subjects (P = 0.02, Fisher's exact test). Assignment to paroxetine was also associated with significantly reduced depressive symptom severity. This effect was largely accounted for by participants with depression scores above the median (MADRS > 3) at baseline in whom paroxetine was associated with a maximal reduction in MADRS scores of 10.3 (95% CI: 2.1-18.5) compared with placebo at 20 weeks (P < 0.01). Study limitations included a small sample size and high drop-out rate. CONCLUSION: This double-blind, placebo-controlled trial provides preliminary data in support of antidepressant pre-treatment in hepatitis C virus patients with elevated depressive symptoms at baseline.

Mike

[SonicBandaid]

Maybe, but unlike Paris Hilton you have something worthwhile to say and aren't a complete waste of space.

Depression isn't normal and frequently treatting people "prophylactically" with SSRis or other potent antidepressants is worthwhile; you should mention this to your Doc as there is no need to put up with these symptoms unaddressed.
Cheers,
Sonic

[Cindy10]

Myown - yeah baby we are there, I am excited and maybe a little nervous.
Knowing that while we are on tx the virus is gone, and who knows what will happen. But I have a strong faith that God will take care of everything.
Not sure about the riba, but I have a f/u with the dr tommorrow so I will let you know what he says. I was thinking I would have to take them for the week after. We made it hun!

Bug - I never thought of you as a whiner, you spoke how you felt and you helped alot of people along the way. God put you into our lives for a reason, don't ever doubt the impact you have had on others ;-)

[Cindy10]

Most definately, you will always be in my prayers and good talking to you as well ;-)  Hopefully 6 months from now we will be both be posting SVR, and 6 months later SVR for hubby!  

[Myown]

Yes I get nervous about losing my security blanket, but we will be fine. Keep me in prayer as the years go on and I will do the same for you and your husband. Even if we leave the board we will never forget each other because of our last shot being on the same date- so that will be an easy prayer reminder.

Thanks,,,, I'd appreciate if you would let me know what your doctor feels as far as continuing Riba after last injection.When I had the consultation with Dr. Afdahl he said he would be happy if I made it to 16 weeks, so I try to look at it from his stand point meaning that anything over 16 weeks for me is gravy ...hopefully.

Good talking to you.

[Myown]

Yes SVR for us all!!  

[Myown]

"Can't believe you did the whole course without complaining. I know you minimize your sides, and I respect you for not complaining. I was deternined to minimixe my sides and not scare others. You were able to do that, while I quickly went into whining mode.nI really enjoyed those days of tx while I was off work and had you to laugh with."
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Hi Bug!

Believe me, I did complain mostly about my blues and wackiness. Sometimes I did more complaining off forum I guess. I have been very, very fortunate that I didn't suffer the physical problems that many on forum have experienced so that made my ride easier than others I guess. I don't think you complained or whined. You asked questions about your sx, but I did not see you as a whiner at all.

And believe me, I enjoyed all times we laughed together also. You are very funny and fun to be around. I enjoy reading all your posts. You always make me laugh.

Take care.

[ladybug52]

So glad you will have the important stuff behind you when you start. I have to ask though, what does an 11 year old graduate from? What's the age difference between those kids? I have 10 yrs between my youngest and oldest child, with two in between.
Tx will be anti-climatic after all the anxiety. I was so scared too. You're going in well-informed and prepared for the worst, most people don't have as much knowledge beforehand as you've aquired.
I was anxious beforehand but not depressed. I just kept reminding myself that I didn't have to treat, (stage one liver biopsy) and I could quit if it became unbearable. I worked through most of tx, was off for about a week in between jobs. So many people have been through this and the stories are sometimes frightening, but not everyone gets horrible sides. It's wonderful to be able to come here and talk to others going thru the same tx.
Good luck, you're going to be just fine. Really, it'll be OK. Remember this palce is open 24 hrs a day, we'll leave the light on for you.
Bug

[brown_eyed_grl]

You have such a great memory and they say these drugs give you brainfog?  I cant believe you remembered my son was getting married! Yes...he got married on 4/21. Now I'm waiting for my 11 yr old to graduate next week...then a little R&R... then first jab 7/6.

I am listening to everything. Trying to process it all then it's my turn to have my date w/peg. As long as I can sleep and work, that's all I really care about.

I am scared shi%$^ss though

Julia

[ladybug52]

First B.E.G., did your son get married yet? No one thinks you are a baby, we all felt the same way. Everything will be OK, anticipation is the worst side effect of deciding to tx. No one wants to go into the unknown. Thank God, we weren't aware we were about to be born! He hid that from us, you just have to go forward now too.
OH ,you are the queen of relaxation and meditation. Wish I could be as mellow as you. And since you have worse sides, & longer tx than me, I respect your ability to hold on.
Grandma: Give yourself some credit! You have always been the epitomy of patience, understanding, and forgiveness. You suffered a lot with family attitudes and made it through. I always felt like your burdens were great, but your attitude greater.
Cindy, you are an inspiration to all. You have always maintained a great attitude and treating with my husband would spell D-I-V-O-R-C-E in my house!
MyOwn:Can't believe you did the whole course without complaining. I know you minimize your sides, and I respect you for not complaining. I was deternined to minimixe my sides and not scare others. You were able to do that, while I quickly went into whining mode.nI really enjoyed those days of tx while I was off work and had you to laugh with.
Hugs to all,
Bug

[Sunny37]

I haven't made too many comments to people as I am only on week 5 but if I can make you feel any better here goes.....I was exactly the same....scared out of my mind to start....but honestly....I have no real side effects ...definetly dry...but I try to keep up with the water....feel a little extra tired but I feel OKAY!! (so far) no side effects with shots....try to take pills with food...I am 3a taking 180 of interferon and 1000 of riba daily. Try to keep your chin up it might be just fine :)

[brown_eyed_grl]

I really do appreciate your responses....

I also realize that the people who have to do 52 and 72 weeks and relapsers, probably have little sympathy for me. I can harldy blame them.  This not being in control thing is probably what's gotten me down. Everyday gets closer and closer. I really never thought I would have to do this. One needle stick 34 yrs ago....Im sure god has a plan for me and this is part of it....I guess.

Thanks Cindy. Your post touched me and made me feel so much better as did everyone elses. No ad's !! LOVE to hear that!!. Just put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time.

[Myown]

I am on 23/24. Depression comes and goes but tx itself has not been anything that I thought it would be. Even the depression/moodiness is not a daily thing. I now try to avoid being around people if I feel moody. You will be fine, believe me.

I'm anemic and that is even fine unless I walk up an incline. Everyone is different. I am not even tired ever so try not to worry, we are all different. You may sail thru tx.

Just know that everyone is here for you. You are not alone. It is an emotional rollercoaster even before tx, but we all have had those feelings so don't get nervous thinking you are abnormal in anyway.

I wish you the best!
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Cindy!! hey count down baby!!! We are almost there. Can't wait. Are you going to continue to take your riba after the last shot or stop it with the last injection? My NP said I can stop because we have such a build up of riba in our system at this point. I wish I would have remembered to ask the doc though, just incase he has a different opinion. I'll probably take a low amount like 200mg daily for a week. Probably makes no sense to do this, but I will probably feel better about it rather than just stopping with the last injection.

[Cindy10]

You may be fine so try not to expect the worse. I have been on tx with minimal sx and no ad's, and I am on week 35. My husband is also on tx week 21 and he feels fine too (again no ad's), a little fatigue for us but not bad.

We stay busy everyday and it goes by fast. I work in my garden everyday and live life like this just is just a blip in the radar. I tell myself this is not a terrible thing, we've been given a chance to rid ourselves of this virus.

Keep the faith and a positive attitude and you WILL be fine.
Trust me you will get through it ;-)

PS. I too was scared and fearing the worse so I know how you feel.  

[Verdugo]

I can relate to your fear of depression - it's one of my fears of beginning TX too.  As others have recommended, I think you should try ADs (this advice is coming from someone who hates taking medicine).  Anyway, my other suggestion would be excercise.  It's has always been a great escape for me.  Have you tried Bikram yoga?  It's the hot yoga where they turn up the heat to 106 to facilitate stretching.   This is also great way to remove toxins from your body but watch out its addicting.  When I first heard about it I never dreamed how much I'd like it.  Ok, don't worry, and know you're not alone.

Anna.

[GrandmaA]

Others have given you excellent advice above. I would stress what Missy said about just take it one day at a time. All your anticipation on how terrible tx will be is not taking it one day at a time. You are living in the future which is impossible. It just makes the present negative.

I used to be a very impatient person and now after 38 weeks on tx, I'm patient. God teaches us what we need to learn one way or another. Have faith and ask for His help. We are all mere mortals and need His help. I have never cried on tx but it helps some people. I'm older than most on this forum. I studied about this treatment for 3 years before I did it and I think that education helped me. Now I just want to forget about it and think about other things. I filled my mind with enough hep. C stuff already. You can get oversaturated with it.

[orphanedhawk]

Before I started tx my herbalist told me to stop thinking of tx like some horrible thing I need to get through and find a way to welcome the medicine. I started doing a little ritual when I do my shot, focusing on sending the meds to help my health. Meditation has been a big help for me. Try to think of a way to view this in the most positive light you can. You are preparing for a wild adventure. Grab a paddle, enjoy the ride when you can, keep upright during the bumpy spots and coast when its smooth.   Good luck.

[az hepper]

I would add, it really may not be as bad as your antcipate, 24 weeks will go very fast, (ask anyone doing 48 or longer) plan on some time for R&R moments if and when you need them.

I have two lady friends both geno 2's  I know, both did 24 weeks, last year, ran their own business, minimal down time, maintain exercise routines, other than some expected sides, that they planned for, they actually did better on tx
that either had anticipated. they are both now SVR. and feel and look better than before TX.
There going to be a few dark days, just ride with them if they occur.
you really can get thru this succesfully.
good luck

[missy60051]

I know you're scared.  I cried all the way up till I started treatment.
I was so depressed and couldn't understand how something like this could
happen to me.  Look at it as this is what I have to do for me and my family!
It's temporary!  Be glad it's 24 wks.  Me 14/48 or like nygirl 72 wks.
If you're not going to take AD's you'll need to find a focus.  Keep a Journal,
Take walks,keep yourself busy.  Remember, we are all here to rid this beast
together.  
One day at a time
Missy

[bobbyullc]

i was depressed the whole 45 weeks. not bad but so much that i did not want to even see my best friends. i can be part of tx. if it is not too bad go on with it. good luck. bobby

[cruelworld]

this may sound weird coming from cruelword, but i cried every day for the first six months of treatnent, and thats a lot of crying! if i dont win the big cry baby award i know im near the top. its nothing to be embarrased about though.
this is your human system for releasing grief. let it flow ,let it flow, let it flow. dont hold it back. i finally turned the corner this month (month 7) and i would expect it takes everyone about that long to really settle in to the new life
and accept it. now that im here im feel mentally as good as i did before all this happened. im now bouncing around the house singing dancing and talking to myself like a freak. im happy again and you will be too, just let it take its course.
i assume this your first round. is it?

[anafromtexas]

I so sorry you feel so bad.  I also did not want to take AD so I started to look for an alternate method to help with the anxiety and fear of starting. I'm only on week three - but I found guided meditation to help me calm down and take my mind off of the treatment and help me relax.   Mediational music and hopefully soon try yoga or tai chi!  The tx can cause you to get more depressed so it is important to get a handle on it or try the AD's.  Also, my first shot was painless and the next day was like a hangover (I've had worse hangovers).  Everyone is different and maybe you won't have any sx like others here!   Try to relax and think about the positive things you have in your life!!