feeling really sad as of late

[stangshelly]

just need to vent and have no one that understands more. thought all was well for awhile but now back to sobbing again,sob,itching not sleeping...like its all starting over again..when will it end? tired and cranky..getting ready to throw in towel. i don't know what a good day is as of last 2 weeks or so..just when i feel good i crash again. don't mean to whine i know we are all going through s%^t, but my hubby hasn't been very supportive as of late. friends who were there aren't anymore...kid isn't around, animals that i love dearly are getting on my nerves...just feel like getting in my car and keep driving...but almost afraid to, due to this brain fog,can't remember what i was doing 30 seconds ago..on week 16 today..hope it gets better..but losing faith..thanks for lending an ear..shelly

[doglover28]

My thoughts are with you Shelly.  I was having a hard time last week, and I haven't even started treatment.  I hope you feel better soon.  I felt like I was in a hole and couldn't get out.
Pam

[NYgirl]

I think at about that point what happens is that at first..our families are SO supportive and understanding. But in time...it sort of wears off and the "can I get you anything?" attitude is sort of forgotten about.  As we progress it seems people forget that for US it's just as hard as in the beginning, we just adapt and try to keep going.

It's not that they DONT care but they've sort of forgotten and been worn out or something.  So they don't offer the SERIOUS heavy duty support that we got the first month or two.

So then WE feel it...where did my support go here?  Have they forgotten that I am STILL sick?  And it does become depressing to some of us. I remember feeling the SAME WAY.  But, realizing that this IS My disease and that my family doesn't consider it the cornerstone of THEIR lives - I understand now and feel much better.

For us it becomes SO CONSUMING all of this but to others well..their lives have their OWN things. While we tie ourselves up in here finding strength - they have no idea we still need it.

I think this "sucky 16" is a pretty common scenario perhaps.

[merlino]

I hope this will give u a little laugh. Right after I posted above I had to go make myself look a little presentable for a client due in this morning.Instead of the hairspray I sprayed the bathroom air refreshener.Now my hair is wet and I stink and again I am not even tx yet!!!!

[friscosue13]

Never have truer words been spoken.  A young male neighbor of mine knew I "wasn't feeling well".  He told me he'd say a prayer for me as he watched me haul some heavy grocery bags up the stairs!  I feel that "God" put us here for each other.  Prayer without action, and all that.

I'd LOVE if someone came by to vacuum the cat hair off my black carpeting.  I have a great bakery by my bus stop that makes the best thin-crust pizza -- that's my version of cheese and crackers.  I hold a chef certificate in holistic cooking and prior to tx ate very healthfully.  Now?  Too much trouble.  I find, as do you, that when I do too much during the day, I just feel really beat up.  As of late, even the soles of my feet are painful.

A good thing that has come out of aging 20 years in two months is that I can better emphasize with my parents and with what they go through.  Like you, I found out that I'm like everyone else, and will make it my business to be more helpful to them when I'm off of tx.  Thanks for that.

[friscosue13]

"A good thing that has come out of aging 20 years in two months is that I can better emphasize with my parents ... "  DUH.

Better "empathize" with my parents ...

[MrsOckert]

ROFL I had to read your second post twice.  I missed your misspelling the first time.  Brain fogged minds think alike!

At the beginning a few people would say "what can I do for you?"  How in the world do you ask someone to come clean your bathroom?  

A friend of mine had to have some psychological counseling because of a traumatic experience.  One of the points brought out was that there are two kinds of people.  The ones that see a need and step in without being asked and the ones that ask what can I do for you?

Let's face it.  Most of us won't ask for help.

This is for Shelly....and quite embarrassing.  If my dr knew this he'd pull me off TX immediately.  

Shelly, sometimes when it gets really bad I lay in bed in the dark and imagine my funeral.  I think about all my friends that I haven't spoken to since week 1 and how sorry they'll all be that I'm gone now.  I plan the flowers, the music, the sermon and the wonderful things that will be said about me.  LOL  After about an hour I start crying and have just the nicest cry in the world.  Then I go throw my arms around my husband and tell him how much I love and appreciate him.  

The poor man is so befuddled - doesn't have a clue what I've been doing for the last hour.  I actually do feel better when it's over.