Aa
need help in understanding these med terms
can someone tell me what these mean if anything?Do have alot of the symptoms of one with cerrious(?)Had blood work done & here r the results: sodium 131 norm:135-135
BUN 7 8-22
GLUGLCOSE 161 70-110
ALK PHOSPHAT 133 30-99
AST 61 12-45
ALT 100 2-50
GLOBULIN 4.1 1.9-3.5
NEUTS/POLYS 83.6 0-72
LYMPHOCYTES 10.1 1.0-9.0
BUN 7 8-22
GLUGLCOSE 161 70-110
ALK PHOSPHAT 133 30-99
AST 61 12-45
ALT 100 2-50
GLOBULIN 4.1 1.9-3.5
NEUTS/POLYS 83.6 0-72
LYMPHOCYTES 10.1 1.0-9.0
Blood tests indicate:
Need to rule out diabetes
Enzymes slightly elevated most likely due to HCV causing liver tissue insult. Ask MD to clarify and rule out other possible contributors.
Immune system is on high alert due to HCV. Ask MD to clarify and rule out other possible contributors.
Ross
Need to rule out diabetes
Enzymes slightly elevated most likely due to HCV causing liver tissue insult. Ask MD to clarify and rule out other possible contributors.
Immune system is on high alert due to HCV. Ask MD to clarify and rule out other possible contributors.
Ross
Forsee:soo change the subject,eh?...c'mon,what did you leave (drape,stick,mash) onto the steering wheel?--do i have to stay tuned ?......i'm seeing Doc1&2 next week,gonna tweek the AD's ,i hope,maybe some Zanax? Zoloft they seem like the end of the line alphabetically-maybe they will Zap me Happy!--i do enjoy your fiery verbal joustings,beats crossfire all to hell..
Strator: multi-personalitys,ohhh yea,got it in spades! How 'bout a concession at Coney Island--"Come 1&all see the Man Change Before Your very eyes!!! "-rent us a booth,,i'll be there with bells on..you can't miss me-i'll be the one w/ bells on& muttering to myself..ohh that won't help much in that neighborhood...i know, i'll come as myself:that you will notice!--
Strator: multi-personalitys,ohhh yea,got it in spades! How 'bout a concession at Coney Island--"Come 1&all see the Man Change Before Your very eyes!!! "-rent us a booth,,i'll be there with bells on..you can't miss me-i'll be the one w/ bells on& muttering to myself..ohh that won't help much in that neighborhood...i know, i'll come as myself:that you will notice!--
Yeah you know you mentioned some isolationism going on. How bout giving multible personalties a try. It works for us.
Dyno Don & His Bang,Bang, Western Moving Picture Show
Dyno Don & His Bang,Bang, Western Moving Picture Show
Hey - What's wrong with a cliched tryst once in a while? Never minded any I've been dragged into - but maybe that's because I never have.....
Hey, was going to ask you, a while back you were saying you were getting really wonky from the meds, how are you doing now? Did you do anything to help besides read our nonsence of course, ha ha! Hope youre doing better!
WOW--much more action than i expected ,what more could you ask for-goof?--not sum runof the mill ,poorly lit ,bedroom romp?--what gets left on the steering wheel?--i think the whole scene needs a symbol,i mean besides the smouldering red sports car....
Ina: knew we had something in common, really glad I got a grounding in those programs, the tools I learned there have been invaluable in my everyday life in so many ways. Even with buttheads at work, or more importantly, it helps me to recognize when I'm being a butthead, ha ha! At least most of the time! How are you doing? Hope youre feeling better and better as I know you will. Keep us posted!
Cquest: You know, these are tricky issues for me...because it can add up to us always taking inventory of the "Significant Other" most of the time - which can be counter-productive because that can lead to a lot of blaming - which can keep us from seeing our own part in the dysfunction of a relationship. And if we don't see our part in it...we can end up breaking off with this SO, only to get into a similar relationship the next time cause we haven't fixed some fundamental problems in ourselves. (Krike! I'm sounding like Dr. Phil!!!, eeeeek! please forgive me, ha ha!) For my part, when I ended up with that previous boyfriend, he told me who and what he was about early on, and I chose to ignore those signals...could I have been even been attracked to him because of them? Along with all his other gifts, I'm not that crazy, ha ha!
But these other issues might of given me an opportunity to "fix" and rescue him and I found that a big turn on subconsciously??? Yikes! Could be, I'm not sure....I do know that my dad is pretty messed up, and my mom was always rescuing and making excuses for him. Just because we know something intellectually, doesn't mean that our emotions won't rule the day and govern our actions (unless we learn how to properly deal with them, and back then I didn't have a clue!!) Because my mom's relationship with my dad really repelled me on a lot of levels. You'd think that I would have gone the opposite way....
Sometimes I'll hear young women say they find the nice guys "boring" and they are really attracted to the "bad boy" types, okay.... You even see that in these big time celebrities with plenty of money and fame, unfortunately that won't protect you from making bad choices in mates, obviously.
So that said...if you just have a relationship with someone who is constantly jumping on your bounderies, and doesn't show you the proper respect and give you the support you want in a relationship (when you've made every effort to give this yourself...) maybe look into Coda? They have meetings all over the place, or at least they used to...and they are free. Please know they are not just about how to dump the person, just how to work on yourself in hopes of making the relationship better if need be. It doesn't matter if the SO is an alcoholic or what. Also, just plain old marriage counseling with a good therapist? They are not all good but you could find a good one. Oftentimes a lot of these issues "can" be worked out for the better. Hope this helps.
Goof: After all that a lesbian tryst? Sooooo cliche my dear boy! Maybe something a bit more sensationalistic! Perhaps...I could of shaved my head ala GI Jane and gotten myself an M-72 Light Anti- Tank Weapon and blew up his red sports car that he loved more than anything on earth! Then I could of left a token of my affection on the smoking steering wheel so he'd know who did it! But then again, that's pretty cliche as well...oh well.....
Cquest: You know, these are tricky issues for me...because it can add up to us always taking inventory of the "Significant Other" most of the time - which can be counter-productive because that can lead to a lot of blaming - which can keep us from seeing our own part in the dysfunction of a relationship. And if we don't see our part in it...we can end up breaking off with this SO, only to get into a similar relationship the next time cause we haven't fixed some fundamental problems in ourselves. (Krike! I'm sounding like Dr. Phil!!!, eeeeek! please forgive me, ha ha!) For my part, when I ended up with that previous boyfriend, he told me who and what he was about early on, and I chose to ignore those signals...could I have been even been attracked to him because of them? Along with all his other gifts, I'm not that crazy, ha ha!
But these other issues might of given me an opportunity to "fix" and rescue him and I found that a big turn on subconsciously??? Yikes! Could be, I'm not sure....I do know that my dad is pretty messed up, and my mom was always rescuing and making excuses for him. Just because we know something intellectually, doesn't mean that our emotions won't rule the day and govern our actions (unless we learn how to properly deal with them, and back then I didn't have a clue!!) Because my mom's relationship with my dad really repelled me on a lot of levels. You'd think that I would have gone the opposite way....
Sometimes I'll hear young women say they find the nice guys "boring" and they are really attracted to the "bad boy" types, okay.... You even see that in these big time celebrities with plenty of money and fame, unfortunately that won't protect you from making bad choices in mates, obviously.
So that said...if you just have a relationship with someone who is constantly jumping on your bounderies, and doesn't show you the proper respect and give you the support you want in a relationship (when you've made every effort to give this yourself...) maybe look into Coda? They have meetings all over the place, or at least they used to...and they are free. Please know they are not just about how to dump the person, just how to work on yourself in hopes of making the relationship better if need be. It doesn't matter if the SO is an alcoholic or what. Also, just plain old marriage counseling with a good therapist? They are not all good but you could find a good one. Oftentimes a lot of these issues "can" be worked out for the better. Hope this helps.
Goof: After all that a lesbian tryst? Sooooo cliche my dear boy! Maybe something a bit more sensationalistic! Perhaps...I could of shaved my head ala GI Jane and gotten myself an M-72 Light Anti- Tank Weapon and blew up his red sports car that he loved more than anything on earth! Then I could of left a token of my affection on the smoking steering wheel so he'd know who did it! But then again, that's pretty cliche as well...oh well.....
Thanks for your soul-searching story - both for sharing you personal details and also for taking the time to post it. I'm sure we all took some thing valuable away from reading it - I know I did.
My only critique would be that I was left waiting for a lesbian tryst that never materialized - on the otherhand, maybe it's a touch unreasonable for me to edit your personal history for my own selfish tittilation?
Hope you're well. Shall I tell you about the <a href="http://weather.yahoo.com/forecast/USCA0703_f.html">weather </a>?
My only critique would be that I was left waiting for a lesbian tryst that never materialized - on the otherhand, maybe it's a touch unreasonable for me to edit your personal history for my own selfish tittilation?
Hope you're well. Shall I tell you about the <a href="http://weather.yahoo.com/forecast/USCA0703_f.html">weather </a>?
I thought I was the only one that had such a dysfunctional family life! My mother was a drunk, no other word for it, flat out, fall down, slurring her words drunk...I refused to drink or smoke because of her...I have had bad relationships and discovered I enjoy my own company more than other people sometimes...however, one question....how do you deal with an a$$hole husband? He doesn't drink, do drugs, carouse around, nothing except he is just an a$$! Just plain mean! Of course he lured me in and that was 15 years ago (New Years day is our 15th anniversary) and I enjoy his company for the most part...but he is such a jerk sometimes...is there an A$$aNon program out there?
Cin
Cin
Forseegood - Quite the journey, quite courageous to revisit it, and I'm sure it will help someone. 'Experience, strength and hope' seems to be the common denominator in all forms of support whether it's a coach taking an embarrased 10ryo to the side and sharing how he blew the big play when he was young and thought the world was over, to the wonderful reactions to progress here. As far as relationships- unfortunately being involved with Ruby Riba is almost a comfort zone for me, because it seems similar to my few quasi-long term relationships with women.
For all of you - Thanks for your kind words. If it helps you all rest easier....The only true danger in the Christmas incident was if I reacted the way I am familiar with, and unfortunately comfortable with. Remember I'm the one with the violent past. I wasn't a normally violent drunk but I've certainly played that game- boxing gyms, knife fights, 17 yrs working in nightclubs and dives, bad boys with guns and all.
My daughter who stopped it cold by placing a hand on his chest is no stranger to violence, growing up with an alkie explosive mother. She later told me the thought of my reaction as the incident unfolded, frightened her more than the incident.
I will not excuse my brother-inlaws action. I've known him 53yrs. Despite his arrogance and our separate issues, I have never known him to even have a fist fight as a kid, just not a physical guy despite his size. He doesn't know violence, never hit anyone before-and I would know-no previous incidents- but in the moment he lost it. Still unacceptable. And it doesn't matter what day it was-there were over 30 people there-at least a dozen children from infants to my son (who is bigger than me, though still a child) and my very tight family of 5 siblings, spouses etc..
It's being resolved appropiately amongst the family.
This morning I downloaded the photos from the party. The joy and laughter on my sons, grandchildrens, siblings, nieces and nephews, and Dad's faces as they all opened little gifts and sat on Santa's lap and shared with each other-was the only statement I needed.
For all of you - Thanks for your kind words. If it helps you all rest easier....The only true danger in the Christmas incident was if I reacted the way I am familiar with, and unfortunately comfortable with. Remember I'm the one with the violent past. I wasn't a normally violent drunk but I've certainly played that game- boxing gyms, knife fights, 17 yrs working in nightclubs and dives, bad boys with guns and all.
My daughter who stopped it cold by placing a hand on his chest is no stranger to violence, growing up with an alkie explosive mother. She later told me the thought of my reaction as the incident unfolded, frightened her more than the incident.
I will not excuse my brother-inlaws action. I've known him 53yrs. Despite his arrogance and our separate issues, I have never known him to even have a fist fight as a kid, just not a physical guy despite his size. He doesn't know violence, never hit anyone before-and I would know-no previous incidents- but in the moment he lost it. Still unacceptable. And it doesn't matter what day it was-there were over 30 people there-at least a dozen children from infants to my son (who is bigger than me, though still a child) and my very tight family of 5 siblings, spouses etc..
It's being resolved appropiately amongst the family.
This morning I downloaded the photos from the party. The joy and laughter on my sons, grandchildrens, siblings, nieces and nephews, and Dad's faces as they all opened little gifts and sat on Santa's lap and shared with each other-was the only statement I needed.
I wish I could read the labs but can't. I think someone posted a link for you to check out. Good luck to you..
Hi, here is a site that has all you need to know about labs, etc. It's called Janis and friends, here's the link
http://janis7hepc.com/Labs.htm
Hope that helps, good luck to you!
http://janis7hepc.com/Labs.htm
Hope that helps, good luck to you!
ha ha ha! pretty out there huh??? just thought that if I could show how out there I got with those co-dependence issues, maybe someone could benefit, no matter who they are, and not have to hit there head on the wall for as long as I did! Seems like it was sooo long ago now, and I feel much better about my life now, really good in fact, now to this dang disease!!!
wow girl! that was some soul pouring event! Of the controversial women I found at OOB, you were the one I found the most reasonable, insightful and flexible. Ms Fhat just could not find her way to my reason, and I will just leave it at that.
That -foresee self discovery era- should bring you the soul mate of your choice, if it hasn't already. It seems you have discovered that being alone does not have to equal been lonely. A state I hope to find some day. That took a lot of inner strength to accomplish, and I am so impressed you reached a level I hope to reach in the future. Good luck in your next task; hcv eviction.
strator; what can I say? I don't think I would have restrained my emotions without some miraculous intervention! someone harming my child to the point of physical evidence...what a state of frustration, confusion, ambivalence, hate, anger, soul searching event that would have been for me! His behavior was definetely abusive and can not be tolerated and excused. I am sure that you would have defended your child if necessary, that the police would have been called and the offender arrested no matter what holiday it was if your child was in danger. I pray that you find the balanced path, one that will be satisfactory to you and your son. What does he say should be the path to follow?
you are proof that riba does not make people mad beyond reason.
That -foresee self discovery era- should bring you the soul mate of your choice, if it hasn't already. It seems you have discovered that being alone does not have to equal been lonely. A state I hope to find some day. That took a lot of inner strength to accomplish, and I am so impressed you reached a level I hope to reach in the future. Good luck in your next task; hcv eviction.
strator; what can I say? I don't think I would have restrained my emotions without some miraculous intervention! someone harming my child to the point of physical evidence...what a state of frustration, confusion, ambivalence, hate, anger, soul searching event that would have been for me! His behavior was definetely abusive and can not be tolerated and excused. I am sure that you would have defended your child if necessary, that the police would have been called and the offender arrested no matter what holiday it was if your child was in danger. I pray that you find the balanced path, one that will be satisfactory to you and your son. What does he say should be the path to follow?
you are proof that riba does not make people mad beyond reason.
PMS:post-marriage(due to medication) syndrome.........Misty,wow sure got an earful for your question!.....Forseegood,well put-i think Strator responded with great wisdom............Mrs. O, i am gonna be quoting you in defense of my own behavoir modification lately.... thanks,one and All
Also thought I'd throw in about Al-Anon and these types of meetings. These programs helped save my life in more ways than one. Hmmm, gotta share some very personal and embarrassing things, but so be it. I might be able to help someone by example so it's worth it to me, this is for anyone who cares to listen, it's not specifically for any one person here or elsewhere.
Years ago I met a guy I thought was wonderful on paper anyway. He was very good looking (too much of a sucker for that I'll admit) had a master's in English, charming, great personality and killer sense of humor, great dresser, you name it. I'll call him Ray. All my girlfriends were soooo impressed with him, (another, way to big of a deal for me back then.) Ray had a great job free lansing for many of the major movie and television studios, and I had a really good job at a major movie studio myself. We moved in together way too readily, into a really great old 20's art deco building, beautiful furniture, cars, whatever. Ray was wonderful but he started to display as many red flags as you could count, but why would I pay attention to that?, there were too many pluses in my mind. Ray's drug of choice was marijuana, he did plenty of drinking as well, but it was the pot that was at the forefront. I'm not in the temperance league, I don't even think it's a big deal if someone smokes pot once in awhile recreationally or for medicinal use. It depends on who is doing it, and if it's an addict, it's bad news in my mind.
Soon he was toking up in the morning before he went to work, during lunch, on and on. Often he was buzzed when he came home from work, and he would invite all these "friends" he would pick up at the beach where we lived. All kinds of guys were coming in and out of our apartment, breaking the furniture, carrying on blasting music at all hours, all these Peter Pan types that never grew up, and most of them weren't working and were spunging on us for this and that. I kept telling myself that it was a phase, etc. and it would get better with time.
Of course, it got worse with time. I had a thing I did where I would insist that we watch a movie I rented before 9 at night, because if we started watching anything any time after that, Ray would be too buzzed to understand what was going on and I'd have to sit and explain it to him while it was going on like he was my mildly retarded son or something. This was one of the only things he would do with me after awhile, he mostly wanted to get buzzed with his friends, that was getting to be the extent of our "social" life. He started losing jobs one after another, always blaming his bosses, or some co-worker that sabotaged him, etc. I started paying all the bills and giving him money for booze and pot and whatever else he wanted. Women were calling all the time, sometimes just asking for him outright, and I just put up with it and got mad, whatever, but put up with it in the end. He'd come home after he'd clearly been out with one of them, once in awhile.
I just didn't get how sick I was, how in denial I was. Not to say that I was the best girlfriend, or I didn't have any of my own issues I had plenty cause at the time, I was pretty mixed up as well....but I was a doormat as well and would of done anything I could of to hold on to Ray. He was my total obsession. Ray was always telling me that it was my fault things were so bad with him, that it was because I was such a nag, and put him down so much. That me asking him to call on jobs was really demeaning to him.
No matter how obnoxious or abusive he got with me, never physical or yelling, just degrading....I just put up with it. I started devising plans on how I was going to stop his now constant pot smoking. I was going to report his dealer to the authorities, I would of but I was too scared they would of traced it to me. Soon, I'd be coming home from work and these various guys who crashed at our apt, who were often sleeping on the beach if they weren't at our place...were starting to crack up with Ray as I came in the door. Turns out he was sleeping with an 18 year old girl that was in the complex. She started smirking at me as well, or calling me up and telling me how much he couldn't stand me, and how he had no respect for me. Little did I know, that all this fed into my own no-self esteem issues, if anything they fueled them, it was a form of my own self destructive spiral.
Well, finally, I got the gumption to leave but what did I do? I moved into the same apt building! He told me that if I would just leave the apt, that he would be okay again and not use so much. If I stayed in the same building I told myself- I could be privy to all the shenanigans that were going on there. Always telling myself that he would come around...and I didn't want to be too far away when he did. I kinda went into a mini-nervous breakdown looking back on it. Well, a friend I knew tricked me into going to a Coda meeting, then a Al-anon meeting. I didn't want any part of it, I thought it would be full of Moonies or something with no self will. I was the one without any self-will.
I learned in these meetings that it wasn't about what I was going to do about Ray. Ray was a big boy and he could take care of himself. We were even advised to take the focus off these Significant Others. (SO's), and not mention them so much, not constantly go on about them. I was just supposed to focus on myself, what was I doing or not doing for my own benefit? I got a dog and started to doing some intense hiking and biking and seeing old good friends. I started doing all the things I enjoyed once again, like movies and art museums and plays, etc. Pretty soon everything started making sense again, I didn't feel so lost and deeply depressed. Finally, I got my a$$ out of there, and moved to the other side of town. Good thing about LA, you can just go to another part of the city and not run into people you don't want to run into. I stayed by myself for 5 years and they were wonderful years, I learned to like my own company and to rely on myself. I even got offers from some great guys to hook up and date, whatever , but I thought I had better just work on myself for awhile, see what being by myself was like, something I had never really done before. I had a big social circle with many women friends as well and I was really happy for the first time in years.
These meetings aren't about how to lose the SO. If the SO goes into treatment and fits along side with the new, better more balanced NEW YOU, so be it. These meeting tend to really help a good relationship become better because along the way you become more self aware and more respectful towards yourself and other people. They are more about how to find yourself again, and become a more complete person, someone who would attract another complete person, whether it was your SO you had problems with or not. It's funny, once you work on yourself, everything else just seems to play out okay.
Now the trouble with telling your personal stories like I just did, is that people seeing this might say, well my John or my Lois isn't as bad as Ray, he/she doesn't do that, etc. All I'm saying, it isn't about degree so much as about what is happening to your marriage, your relationship, your soul, your family, etc. And if people don't need Al-anon or these types of meetings to get a better hold on their relationships or themselves, fine, but do something to make it work where there isn't a lot of turmoil and addictive drinking and using, no family or person needs that or should go through that....life is too short to spend masses of it suffering needlessly.
Years ago I met a guy I thought was wonderful on paper anyway. He was very good looking (too much of a sucker for that I'll admit) had a master's in English, charming, great personality and killer sense of humor, great dresser, you name it. I'll call him Ray. All my girlfriends were soooo impressed with him, (another, way to big of a deal for me back then.) Ray had a great job free lansing for many of the major movie and television studios, and I had a really good job at a major movie studio myself. We moved in together way too readily, into a really great old 20's art deco building, beautiful furniture, cars, whatever. Ray was wonderful but he started to display as many red flags as you could count, but why would I pay attention to that?, there were too many pluses in my mind. Ray's drug of choice was marijuana, he did plenty of drinking as well, but it was the pot that was at the forefront. I'm not in the temperance league, I don't even think it's a big deal if someone smokes pot once in awhile recreationally or for medicinal use. It depends on who is doing it, and if it's an addict, it's bad news in my mind.
Soon he was toking up in the morning before he went to work, during lunch, on and on. Often he was buzzed when he came home from work, and he would invite all these "friends" he would pick up at the beach where we lived. All kinds of guys were coming in and out of our apartment, breaking the furniture, carrying on blasting music at all hours, all these Peter Pan types that never grew up, and most of them weren't working and were spunging on us for this and that. I kept telling myself that it was a phase, etc. and it would get better with time.
Of course, it got worse with time. I had a thing I did where I would insist that we watch a movie I rented before 9 at night, because if we started watching anything any time after that, Ray would be too buzzed to understand what was going on and I'd have to sit and explain it to him while it was going on like he was my mildly retarded son or something. This was one of the only things he would do with me after awhile, he mostly wanted to get buzzed with his friends, that was getting to be the extent of our "social" life. He started losing jobs one after another, always blaming his bosses, or some co-worker that sabotaged him, etc. I started paying all the bills and giving him money for booze and pot and whatever else he wanted. Women were calling all the time, sometimes just asking for him outright, and I just put up with it and got mad, whatever, but put up with it in the end. He'd come home after he'd clearly been out with one of them, once in awhile.
I just didn't get how sick I was, how in denial I was. Not to say that I was the best girlfriend, or I didn't have any of my own issues I had plenty cause at the time, I was pretty mixed up as well....but I was a doormat as well and would of done anything I could of to hold on to Ray. He was my total obsession. Ray was always telling me that it was my fault things were so bad with him, that it was because I was such a nag, and put him down so much. That me asking him to call on jobs was really demeaning to him.
No matter how obnoxious or abusive he got with me, never physical or yelling, just degrading....I just put up with it. I started devising plans on how I was going to stop his now constant pot smoking. I was going to report his dealer to the authorities, I would of but I was too scared they would of traced it to me. Soon, I'd be coming home from work and these various guys who crashed at our apt, who were often sleeping on the beach if they weren't at our place...were starting to crack up with Ray as I came in the door. Turns out he was sleeping with an 18 year old girl that was in the complex. She started smirking at me as well, or calling me up and telling me how much he couldn't stand me, and how he had no respect for me. Little did I know, that all this fed into my own no-self esteem issues, if anything they fueled them, it was a form of my own self destructive spiral.
Well, finally, I got the gumption to leave but what did I do? I moved into the same apt building! He told me that if I would just leave the apt, that he would be okay again and not use so much. If I stayed in the same building I told myself- I could be privy to all the shenanigans that were going on there. Always telling myself that he would come around...and I didn't want to be too far away when he did. I kinda went into a mini-nervous breakdown looking back on it. Well, a friend I knew tricked me into going to a Coda meeting, then a Al-anon meeting. I didn't want any part of it, I thought it would be full of Moonies or something with no self will. I was the one without any self-will.
I learned in these meetings that it wasn't about what I was going to do about Ray. Ray was a big boy and he could take care of himself. We were even advised to take the focus off these Significant Others. (SO's), and not mention them so much, not constantly go on about them. I was just supposed to focus on myself, what was I doing or not doing for my own benefit? I got a dog and started to doing some intense hiking and biking and seeing old good friends. I started doing all the things I enjoyed once again, like movies and art museums and plays, etc. Pretty soon everything started making sense again, I didn't feel so lost and deeply depressed. Finally, I got my a$$ out of there, and moved to the other side of town. Good thing about LA, you can just go to another part of the city and not run into people you don't want to run into. I stayed by myself for 5 years and they were wonderful years, I learned to like my own company and to rely on myself. I even got offers from some great guys to hook up and date, whatever , but I thought I had better just work on myself for awhile, see what being by myself was like, something I had never really done before. I had a big social circle with many women friends as well and I was really happy for the first time in years.
These meetings aren't about how to lose the SO. If the SO goes into treatment and fits along side with the new, better more balanced NEW YOU, so be it. These meeting tend to really help a good relationship become better because along the way you become more self aware and more respectful towards yourself and other people. They are more about how to find yourself again, and become a more complete person, someone who would attract another complete person, whether it was your SO you had problems with or not. It's funny, once you work on yourself, everything else just seems to play out okay.
Now the trouble with telling your personal stories like I just did, is that people seeing this might say, well my John or my Lois isn't as bad as Ray, he/she doesn't do that, etc. All I'm saying, it isn't about degree so much as about what is happening to your marriage, your relationship, your soul, your family, etc. And if people don't need Al-anon or these types of meetings to get a better hold on their relationships or themselves, fine, but do something to make it work where there isn't a lot of turmoil and addictive drinking and using, no family or person needs that or should go through that....life is too short to spend masses of it suffering needlessly.
Now isn't that cute. The Poor Marriage Thread acronym is almost like PMS. What are the odds of that? LOL
Thanks for your best wishes on my marriage. I do believe we will get through this. I wake up everyday and say today I am not going to **** anyone off. today I will keep my mouth shut. And you know what? i think one of these days I will. LOL
I think I do agree with the other post from someone about possibly your husband being a "dry drunk". He is still responsible for his own actions - no matter what you did. I sincerely hope your marriage will work out, but I would never want you to be in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic.
Taking time to regroup and just rest from all of it is a good idea.
Thanks for your best wishes on my marriage. I do believe we will get through this. I wake up everyday and say today I am not going to **** anyone off. today I will keep my mouth shut. And you know what? i think one of these days I will. LOL
I think I do agree with the other post from someone about possibly your husband being a "dry drunk". He is still responsible for his own actions - no matter what you did. I sincerely hope your marriage will work out, but I would never want you to be in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic.
Taking time to regroup and just rest from all of it is a good idea.
Hi, I'm not on treatment yet, so I don't know some of those terms, sure someone will come by and explain them to you.
Just wanted to throw in on the other thread, realize these types of issues can draw firey responses, but I hope at least most of us can remain civil and reasonable, we are adults you know. Sometimes it's not even worth responding - but I'd like to. We have to remember, that when we deal with violent situations with violence, no one is able to control the situation, it it thus, out-of-control. An out of control situation can result in stabbings, gunfire, all manner of things like this, especially since many people are armed.
Unfortunately, many people who own guns don't always use them for self-defense or hunting, they use them in the heat of the moment in a domestic dispute. I think Strator showed tremedous wisdom and self control and was able to set a good example to his son as to what to do when things get too heated like this, walk away and call the police, ask a neighbor to call the police...this is what the police are for, whatever he did, he removed himself and his son from this potentially violent situation....better deal with like this then have Strator go to jail for assault or worse, or have the boy's daddy shot, or something worse. How would any of these situations play out for the boy's benefit?
Thank you Kalio for being one of the voices of reason on this board. There never can be too many of those, considering all that I've seen.
Just wanted to throw in on the other thread, realize these types of issues can draw firey responses, but I hope at least most of us can remain civil and reasonable, we are adults you know. Sometimes it's not even worth responding - but I'd like to. We have to remember, that when we deal with violent situations with violence, no one is able to control the situation, it it thus, out-of-control. An out of control situation can result in stabbings, gunfire, all manner of things like this, especially since many people are armed.
Unfortunately, many people who own guns don't always use them for self-defense or hunting, they use them in the heat of the moment in a domestic dispute. I think Strator showed tremedous wisdom and self control and was able to set a good example to his son as to what to do when things get too heated like this, walk away and call the police, ask a neighbor to call the police...this is what the police are for, whatever he did, he removed himself and his son from this potentially violent situation....better deal with like this then have Strator go to jail for assault or worse, or have the boy's daddy shot, or something worse. How would any of these situations play out for the boy's benefit?
Thank you Kalio for being one of the voices of reason on this board. There never can be too many of those, considering all that I've seen.
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