he wont go

[kimberlynn]

My husband is supposed to have a biopsy done on mon. Now, he's saying he is'nt going to go.  We've been arguing about it. He is just really scared and would rather not know, so he can keep drinking, and pretend that theres nothing wrong..  HE HAS TO GO!!!!   I'm very scared too.  He's a total grouch!!  If his ultrasound in nov. did'nt show anything would that mean theres not much damage???  Thanks Kim. Sorry if I posted in the wrong place.

[FlGuy]

If his ultrasound in nov. did'nt show anything would that mean theres not much damage???

No

The liver damage that is intended to be identified cannot be accurately identified by by a US.  That's why the doc ordered a biopsy.

Just because he doesn't want to know does not mean that any damage will stop, go away or vanish.  And if there is any damage, continued drinking is a good way to encourage it.  Hubby needs to 'man up'.  At this point, being a grouch is the least of his problems, but may be not be the least of yours.  Might also suggest a colonoscopy to him,  might help him get his head out of his a$$.

[kimberlynn]

LOL, He had a colonoscopy last year!!  It did'nt help!!  Do you know if his platlets are 40,000 does that mean alot of damage?? Also will they even do the biopsy with platlets that low?? Thanks Kim

[FlGuy]

Low platelets are one of many indicators that can point to liver damage.  With all other lab work (that I imagine has already been done) the results of the bx will give a more complete picture of the condition of his health and liver.  Has he had an endoscope?

Whether or not they do a bx with plates at 40, don't know - might be close.

[kimberlynn]

No endoscope, they have'nt done any blood work in 3 months. I guess they will do it when we get there, IF I can make him go. Thanks Kim

[FlGuy]

With a bx scheduled for Monday I imagine they would have some pre-procedure tests done last week to check for clotting-related values and may be other stuff like a cbc.  And if he was not a suitable candidate as a result of those, they probably would have notified you already.

[spcecst2]

Try reverse psychology and tell him you don't give a sh^#t if he goes and don't bring it back up!

[kimberlynn]

If I told him that he'd say ok and would'nt go.  He would say OH YEAH COLD BEER!!!  He loves his beer.  I don't know what else to say. Thank you! Kim

[kimberlynn]

His appetite is about  15 to 24 beers aday. No hard liquor. I know that alcohol is alcohol though. I drink also but I can't drink that much. Thanks Kim

[kimberlynn]

What if he drinks the night b4 his biopsy???  Thanks Kim

[FlGuy]

I might be a little fuzzy here...but I think instructions might be to fast after midnight.  Not sure one this...but I think that in general alcohol has a blood-thinning effect which would not be beneficial to a person with low platelets.  The larger issue is his appetite for drinking

[Bill1954]

I’ve been quietly watching you saga from the background for a while now. He should have received instructions either at the time of scheduling or in the last two weeks reminding him that this is a surgical procedure. The instructions should have included any dietary do’s and don’ts, along with info on medications; they will probably ask him not to take any blood thinning agents. This usually includes aspirin, ibuprofen, etc. Additionally, I’d expect them to order pre-op labs. I believe platelets at 40,000 is getting into the scary department for needle biopsy; they should check coagulopathy- including platelets, pro-time, INR, etc. This is an important step; bleeding out is a major concern in needle biopsy.

As far as his being pig-headed, put him on the ‘puter. I’ll talk to him, one old drunk to another. Even if his liver is fine, the doctor will want to know why his platelets are suppressed. Jeez…

D@mn drunks, LOL!  

[ladywhy]

That's the truth...one drunk helping another...that's how it works. Thank God it did for me.

[wyntre9]

I understand his fear of 'knowing' - but he probably knows already he's gonna have to stop drinking.

FWIW, I recently moved and had to find a new PCP to handle my general health (still seeing gastro) and after he took my medical history and understood i was on month 8 of TX he reassured me that although the SX can be difficult, it's far better than the possible damage that can occur without TX,. including liver cancer. . .

I also enjoyed my nightly glass of wine and a couple of margaritas on weekends.  But i haven't had a drink in 8 months and i don't miss it a bit.

Your husband is very fortunate to have been diagnosed and have an opportunity for treatment as the statistics are something like  of 100 people who find out they have the virus fewer than 10 will be treated.

best of luck to you,

wyntre

[tobywankenobi]

He should have my liver doctors!! I had to have 1 year sober before they will start interferon/ribivirin therapy. Start  8/28 diagnosed 9/15/07. One drunk to another......sounds good to me too.

[pigeonca]

You should definitely get Toby's liver docs or somebody like them.  Well, not quite - BUT your husband does have to stop drinking to undergo treatment, because treatment does not work on drunks.  An alcoholic doesn't care if he's killing himself slowly.  He just wants to be drunk.  On the other hand, maybe a biopsy will scare him sober. And then he will be able to treat.  But you cannot do it for him - he has to do it himself.  And don't blame yourself if he doesn't change.  It is not your fault.

[copyman]

hey kimberlyn,
sorry and hope you dont take this the wrong way,

i remember your posts from about a month ago. there was some harsh words about husbands and your drinking. i may be wrong but you became upset about people telling you to stop drinking. here is what i suggest, you stop drinking to get your mind clear then maybe your husband will stop. one of you have to become responsible to save your lives.

PS, no fasting is required before bx so therfore drinking should be fine before bx, look at this way, let him go get bx drunk and this way they will not have to give pain meds. kind of like the old west where they gave you a bottle before removing a bullet.

[jmjm530]

We're not doctors, but if I remember correctly, the platelet issue should not be a problem and his medical team factors all that in plus a battery of tests that check coagulation time, etc. But it really seems that the problem is a lot bigger than whether he has the biopsy or not on Monday. Assuming he has significant liver damage -- and that's a possiblity -- if he continues to drink heavily, he could really destroy his liver or worse. You really need to get him help and soon. If he is not willing to listen to you, then see a substance abuse counselor yourself for guidance.

[Lonestar823]

Are you psychic?  I remember the old post too.  Then I read this post this morning and  was formulating my thoughts and then you posted it. ; ]  

Kim, There is no fasting before bx required.  It's painless.  I'm a hundred and ten pound woman and I didn't even blink an eye.  Tell him to buck up.

[jmjm530]

Kim: His appetite is about  15 to 24 beers aday. No hard liquor. I know that alcohol is alcohol though. I drink also but I can't drink that much. Thanks Kim
--------------------------
Just read the above post. You both really need help and right away. Yes, "alcohol is alcohol" and anything over a couple of beers a day is excessive and given what his liver damage may be -- low platelets are not a very good sign -- ANY alcohol may be excessive for him. You both really need to see a counselor, AA, or some other group for help. Please don't take offense but I think your husband is not the only one in denial as this appears to be a very serious situation. Maybe those with more experience in substance abuse will chime in.

[Whrose]

your so right. how can anyone understand the pain in his soul that motivates him to die a painful slow death with behaviors that are surely like putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger.
i have compassion for you because to watch you loved one do this to himslelf is one of the greatest pains a person can experience. please reach out for help to someone who will be able to support you in this. you will not be able to do it alone no matter how strong you think you are.

[Whrose]

hon......i am hearing your fear and frustration in this situation. but the truth, which i know you know in your heart, is that your husband has a drinking problem which with hcv has an awful prognosis. your well being and his is on a path of self destrucution and the end of the road is a place where you both will experience pain and suffering and loss.
sadly there is little you will be able to do about his choices. he is an adult in denial!
you however are reaching out for help but this is not the place where you will get the help you need. people on this forum are fighting for their liver health and you want their support but i doubt that it will be able to help your family but
it is a first step towards a path of recovery.  awareness! now you have to take the next step and find the courage to trust your insights and find help for yourself that starts with counseling. a local AAA would be a great place to start, but no one can get you there but you and yourself.  
should you choose the path of denial and suffering i can only give you my hope and knowlege that no matter where you are you are not alone and help is available, but unfortunately the consequences of bad choices can not be changed.

[kimberlynn]

Thank you all so much.  Every bit of advice helps alot.  He has agreed to go for the biopsy, but he wants to get drunk tonight , cuz he said it's probably his last night.  I'll never understand that. KIM

[ladywhy]

Maybe you could look up an Al-anon meeting? That way you might get a better understanding of this disease and also support from others who have had similiar experiences and learn some coping skills. There are many members of AA who first went through the doors of Al-anon...then found there way to AA. Just a thought. As I said to my sister the other day...I'll take chemo over alcohol any day.... At least I'm attempting to save my life rather than destroying it.

[jmjm530]

Whr: but this is not the place where you will get the help you need. people on this forum are fighting for their liver health...
------------------------------------------
I agree. Your husband has a drinking problem first, a HCV problem second. You should therefore be seeking help primarily from a substance abuse counselor/program. If you are, then this place can be a good secondary source.

If you think he will stop drinking after the biopsy without help, you may be deluding yourself. And while some doctors might treat him for HCV while he is drinking, the majority will not. And then there's the issue of your own drinking. While I'm not expert in this field, I imagine if a significant part of your relationship revolved around drinking together, that it will be near impossible for him to stop drinking if you continue around him.

-- Jim