sexually transmitting HepC

[ram921]

  I've been told from the beginning that HepC is not a sexually transmitted disease, but blood-to blood. My significant other believes otherwise, much because her obgyn and other doctors recoil in horror when she tells them of our unprotected sex. We are long-term monogamous, and do not participate in any high-risk behavior. I've had Hepc for at least 10 years, and haven't given it to her. I respect her feelings, but feel her fear is unfounded.  I believe the whole business has driven a wedge between us, but my feelings are invalid because I am the one with the illness, but that's another issue.

[Odin999]

One more thing. I wonder why you feel that her fear is unfounded? Not being accusative here. Just wondering because personally I have never felt someone else's fear of catching HCV was unreasonable.

[ram921]

Thank you. Perhaps "unfounded" was an unfortunate choice of words.  The context I  meant is, "in the face of everything we've learned, and after ten years of being aware of the infection without passing it to her..." Jesus. I'm sorry if it sounds as if I am invalidating her feelings!  The original question was directed at gathering more information about the odds of transmission sexually to provide her with even more first-hand information one way or the other.  Not," Hey, Do you think I'm selfish and insensitive?"  Nothing has changed, we've both been aware of the disease for ten or twelve years, I'm preparing to enter treatment in November, so I guess it's academic. But thanks for the  judgment- there's not enough of that from the gen. public.

[Odin999]

Don't think anyone really means to have a go at you for being selfish or insensitive. Maybe we all know from personal experience the strain that chronic illness can put on relationships. Almost every piece of documentation I have ever come across says something similar (already stated above). Perhaps that is why we started asking you other questions. All the evidence points to very low risk -> next questions => why doesn't she feel comfortable, or is there something else affecting her feelings?

Best of luck sorting it out.

[eureka254]

Your post really didn't have an outright question, and really I just took a shot at trying to help in response.  Like Odin, I don't think people where making judgement... rather trying to judge better what exactly you were looking for since your post stated your feelings rather than asking a direct question (which is fine), but it leaves us trying to assess what kind of feedback you were seeking.  

If you're looking for firsthand feedback:  my husband has probably had hep c for almost 40 years, we've been together 22 years, frequent unprotected sex, some 'risky' business, I'm hep c negative.  

It's all about removing wedges, hmm?
~eureka

[ram921]

Thank you. More to the point. No harm done.

[FlGuy]

My earlier reply was to attempt to look from her point of view, not minimize the situation.  From my experience, it's not easy (may be not even possible) for a husband to see a wife's point of view on a lot of stuff. We've been married for more than 20, all of it with me and hcv but diagnosed for only a few of those years. She and the kids were not infected along the way.  But, upon dx, some things were a little weirdly different. Thing is, there is a risk even though it's small. And, if there's a risk, it's not entirely unreasonable to have a fear of it.  If you go through tx or take other measures in the meantime, will things be better?  Didn't mean to be insulting back there.