Aa
Crumbling
It really hit me today, 10 months into TX, cowering on the side of the NYS thruway on my way to my monthly gastro appointment, rear passenger side tire flat as a pancake, just how much of an invalid I've become.
I didn't have a cell phone; it's one of the one of the many things I've forgotten to keep up with; the contract lapsed months ago.
I didn't have the strength to even attempt to change the tire myself. In my pre-TX days, i could have eventually figured it out. it might have taken me all friggin' day but I would have done it.
Steamy Indian summer morning, car parked next to a lush grove of apple trees with plump ripe fruit dangling: I got as far as emptying the trunk to pull out the spare and then started trembling, felt nauseous, couldn't breathe. Raised the trunk and leaned against the rear bumper, hoping I'd spot a good samaritan or a state cop whizzing by. In the back of my mind scenes from my niece's death, 5 years ago, on the side of a Florida interstate, trying to troubleshoot engine problems, mowed down by an out-of-control tractor-trailer . . . I wasn't THERE but I was there . . .
I was in luck. A k-9 unit pulled up, took my info and relayed it to the state troopers but no one showed up.
Joe from PA came by half an hour later and changed the tire in less than 5 minutes, refusing to take the $40 I tried to press on him.
"You've redeemed my faith in human nature," I told him
By this time I was close to passing out; didn't want to drive 60 miles back to my cottage on a spare, got off the next exit and bought a couple of new tires at a local Mavis, drove home, called the gastro telling them why I hadn't shown up, forced myself to go to the local Walmart to buy one of those prepaid phones coz with my luck, when i try to make the trip again tomorrow I'll have a similar incident requiring access to AAA and will once again be stuck.
I'm wiped out. One friggin little crisis and I'm burned, wondering how I'm gonna manage the trip tomorrow. Wondering how I managed to get back home safely today. Wondering if I'll ever again be able to handle such irritating but routine daily crises. . .
Feeling weak, scared, realizing I have next to zero strength left . . .
Very depressed.
Just had to ramble. Thanks.
wyntre
I didn't have a cell phone; it's one of the one of the many things I've forgotten to keep up with; the contract lapsed months ago.
I didn't have the strength to even attempt to change the tire myself. In my pre-TX days, i could have eventually figured it out. it might have taken me all friggin' day but I would have done it.
Steamy Indian summer morning, car parked next to a lush grove of apple trees with plump ripe fruit dangling: I got as far as emptying the trunk to pull out the spare and then started trembling, felt nauseous, couldn't breathe. Raised the trunk and leaned against the rear bumper, hoping I'd spot a good samaritan or a state cop whizzing by. In the back of my mind scenes from my niece's death, 5 years ago, on the side of a Florida interstate, trying to troubleshoot engine problems, mowed down by an out-of-control tractor-trailer . . . I wasn't THERE but I was there . . .
I was in luck. A k-9 unit pulled up, took my info and relayed it to the state troopers but no one showed up.
Joe from PA came by half an hour later and changed the tire in less than 5 minutes, refusing to take the $40 I tried to press on him.
"You've redeemed my faith in human nature," I told him
By this time I was close to passing out; didn't want to drive 60 miles back to my cottage on a spare, got off the next exit and bought a couple of new tires at a local Mavis, drove home, called the gastro telling them why I hadn't shown up, forced myself to go to the local Walmart to buy one of those prepaid phones coz with my luck, when i try to make the trip again tomorrow I'll have a similar incident requiring access to AAA and will once again be stuck.
I'm wiped out. One friggin little crisis and I'm burned, wondering how I'm gonna manage the trip tomorrow. Wondering how I managed to get back home safely today. Wondering if I'll ever again be able to handle such irritating but routine daily crises. . .
Feeling weak, scared, realizing I have next to zero strength left . . .
Very depressed.
Just had to ramble. Thanks.
wyntre
Congrats (I guess(g)) on getting your extensions approved...Zazza, I script in hand-nice...I never actually get anything from my doc...everything is computerized...
Wyntre, perhaps now is the time to get a backup plan for meds in place---just incase your insurance co screws with you....Not sure which peg you're on, but I would call for assistance info from the manufacturer....Ask your doc when he/she is going to submit the script for extension...Check with your insurance company about extended benefits for tx.....get those ducks in a row, and you will have one more less thing to worry about...........;^)
Off to the skin doc today for a checkup.....hepatologist,dentist,opthamologist,dermatologist.....I feel like a patient-ist (LOL)
Wyntre, perhaps now is the time to get a backup plan for meds in place---just incase your insurance co screws with you....Not sure which peg you're on, but I would call for assistance info from the manufacturer....Ask your doc when he/she is going to submit the script for extension...Check with your insurance company about extended benefits for tx.....get those ducks in a row, and you will have one more less thing to worry about...........;^)
Off to the skin doc today for a checkup.....hepatologist,dentist,opthamologist,dermatologist.....I feel like a patient-ist (LOL)
The reason you haven't seen many posts from me is really stupid. My family and I don't like to watch TV series because we get crazy when we miss a show, so we wait for the DVD to come out before we even start. Well, my niece bought the boxed set of West Wing, and it's totally addicting. We've watched the first 4 years worth of shows in the past 2 weeks. It's crazy. The Sopranos are next.
Feel well,
pigeon
Feel well,
pigeon
What's the bird's name?
Sounds like he's already bonded with Marie. It might end up being her bird. That does happen fairly frequently that a bird will prefer one member of the couple more than the other.
Yes, the step-ups are the first training Nick should do, holding one perch in each hand and alternating the placement of the free one under the birds belly. My guys used to love that. Plus it protects the human from biting.
next thing is to slowly and calmly try to touch the toes. That may take a couple of days, even a couple of weeks. never keep the training going to the point the bird gets stressed.
treats are good. a lot of parrot people like to offer them between their lips - it encourages bonding. . ,Venus often tries to feed me. Most parrots adore millet spray, all kinds of fresh fruit and veggies and people food.
Before I became a vegan, i used to buy roasters for Bonnie (my deceased puppy) and Venus would fly onto the bird and start peeling away the skin.
"That could be your relative!" I'd yell at her.
Just tell nick NOT to insist on much from the bird right now other than that he's relaxed and confortable.
Sprayihg him with a plant bottle is something most birds like, plus it gives them something to do - it takes around 6 hours per day for them to preen all their feathers.
Also, the bird should be let out of the cage for short periods.
As long as Nick is using perches he shouldn't get bitten and pretty soon he should be able to graduate to finger training.
of course if the conure has a huge crush on Marie, all bets are off. *LOL*
I'll dig up some conure info and post it in your messages section.
wyn
wynY
Sounds like he's already bonded with Marie. It might end up being her bird. That does happen fairly frequently that a bird will prefer one member of the couple more than the other.
Yes, the step-ups are the first training Nick should do, holding one perch in each hand and alternating the placement of the free one under the birds belly. My guys used to love that. Plus it protects the human from biting.
next thing is to slowly and calmly try to touch the toes. That may take a couple of days, even a couple of weeks. never keep the training going to the point the bird gets stressed.
treats are good. a lot of parrot people like to offer them between their lips - it encourages bonding. . ,Venus often tries to feed me. Most parrots adore millet spray, all kinds of fresh fruit and veggies and people food.
Before I became a vegan, i used to buy roasters for Bonnie (my deceased puppy) and Venus would fly onto the bird and start peeling away the skin.
"That could be your relative!" I'd yell at her.
Just tell nick NOT to insist on much from the bird right now other than that he's relaxed and confortable.
Sprayihg him with a plant bottle is something most birds like, plus it gives them something to do - it takes around 6 hours per day for them to preen all their feathers.
Also, the bird should be let out of the cage for short periods.
As long as Nick is using perches he shouldn't get bitten and pretty soon he should be able to graduate to finger training.
of course if the conure has a huge crush on Marie, all bets are off. *LOL*
I'll dig up some conure info and post it in your messages section.
wyn
wynY
Zazza,
how many kids?
This is the first year in the past 20 that I haven't gone back to 500-1000 kids per week. I don't miss it at all, especially the screaming part. *LOL*
Of course, none of these kids were biologically related to me.
As long as your blood counts are within range I don't see why your Dr. would have a problem. I'm glad you've got your stash in place.
Katerika,
Thanks for the sentiments.
Yup! I'm crazy as a loon these days. It is the meds, as you know, or maybe it was the Harvest Moon Proactive mentioned.
Funny, I've NEVER done a public meltdown before joining this forum. That says something about how comfortable and non-judgemental this place is.
wyntre
how many kids?
This is the first year in the past 20 that I haven't gone back to 500-1000 kids per week. I don't miss it at all, especially the screaming part. *LOL*
Of course, none of these kids were biologically related to me.
As long as your blood counts are within range I don't see why your Dr. would have a problem. I'm glad you've got your stash in place.
Katerika,
Thanks for the sentiments.
Yup! I'm crazy as a loon these days. It is the meds, as you know, or maybe it was the Harvest Moon Proactive mentioned.
Funny, I've NEVER done a public meltdown before joining this forum. That says something about how comfortable and non-judgemental this place is.
wyntre
Thanks Elaine.
You gotta tell me all about the conure; is he hand-raised - is Nick the first human . .male or female? how old? what kind of cage? Is he perch trained?
tell Nick to take it slow for now with the parrot. they have a fairly long life span - 30+ years and Nick will have plenty of time to work with him.
It's gonna take a while for the bird to calm down, especially if he's not hand-raised and is not a baby. So Nick has to be patient. Perch training is the first thing he should do, and it will solve the biting problem for now.
(Why'd ya tell me about the conure? *LOL*)
Two other things; Are the bird's wings clipped? I hope not. Let me know. And how long has Nick had the conure?
wyntre
You gotta tell me all about the conure; is he hand-raised - is Nick the first human . .male or female? how old? what kind of cage? Is he perch trained?
tell Nick to take it slow for now with the parrot. they have a fairly long life span - 30+ years and Nick will have plenty of time to work with him.
It's gonna take a while for the bird to calm down, especially if he's not hand-raised and is not a baby. So Nick has to be patient. Perch training is the first thing he should do, and it will solve the biting problem for now.
(Why'd ya tell me about the conure? *LOL*)
Two other things; Are the bird's wings clipped? I hope not. Let me know. And how long has Nick had the conure?
wyntre
didn't read about your ordeal until now. The good thing reading the thread was seeing that these moods too will pass. Congrat's for deciding to go the 70+ weeks.When did you reach UND? Some days it gets overwhelming and it just sux. I am horrible those days when I feel hopeless. I tend to bring down my support as well. Keep that song refrain in mind. "I get knocked down, I get up again,nothing gonna keep me down!
Hugs & msending you positive energy
Teri
Hugs & msending you positive energy
Teri
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