Dating and Disclosing

[sisterbabymama]

I just told my new boyfriend that I'm HCV+. He totally freaked out and gave me the boot. He's all paranoid thinking he's already getting sick and has whipped himself up into quite a froth over the whole thing. (And this from a medical professional!) Yes, I should have told him before we had sex the first time. But I didn't think I was deceiving or victimizing him, given my understanding about the risk of transmission being so low and the fact that we have been using condoms for all but the first couple of times. My question is this: When you are dating, when should you disclose your diagnosis? Do you have any experiences you can share? Any tips for dating with Hep-C are greatly appreciated. (P.S. I'm better off without him - his only concern was for himself.)

[zazza]

To balance things up, in my country, Sweden, hep C goes under the law of contagious diseases, and for some of these diseases disclosure to partner before sex and condom use is required by law. This is true for hepatitis B. For hepatitis C neither disclosure nor condom use is required. It is however pointed out that having multiple sex partners and/or an STD are risk factors, and when any or both of these risk factors are present precautions should be taken.

To tell the truth, I consider the risk higher that I will catch an STD from a new partner than that I would give them hep C. So condom use would have the main purpose of protecting me, with the benefit of giving my partner protection as well.

[dperry10]

I think you got enough responses telling you that you SHOULD have disclosed your disease BEFORE having sex.. not after.   If he didn't mind that you had HCV, then a rubber should have been used.   How would you like it if , it was reversed ?    What if you he had it, and told you after the fact.  You would freak I am sure.  For those unaware of the disease, as far as they know it could be just an STD.   they should know of any disease you have that could be contracted even in the slightest way.    Its really amazing how many people just have sex, never thinking of the consequences.   Look at all the AIDS / HIV cases.   If people would learn to be more responsible, non of us would be going thru this.   Of course there are some like myself that got it from a blood transfer from the Hospital in the early 80's...   Others are born with it.    Its still a silent killer and should be disclosed.    Get to know someone a bit better, and let them get to know you, before jumping in the sack next time.   Disclose your disease, and if they freak, well then it wasn't meant to be.

[R Glass]

Let me try asking my question again: Does anyone have any tips or suggestions about how and when to broach this subject when dating?

I would say the perfect time to "broach this subject when dating" would be before the relationship moves to the Bumping Uglies Stage.
You will have to figure out how to tell them on your on.

[DAVMarine]

I have been married faithfully for 24 years and we never used a condom but when I found out I had Hep C for many many years I started using them for my wifes sake.She has been tested and is neg for A B or C.If there is .0001% chance of passign this on I won't take it and I would want to know if I was dating someone before we had sex but then I would have a condom on as someone here mentioned there are to many STDs out there now.The time to tell them???right before you reach the stage you might consider sex not after.I know its got to be a ***** to try to build a relationship with this HCV but if you get to know someone first before the bed flop maybe you'll find one that wants to stick it out anyway and thats the support you need.I have another question along these lines,I haven't started treatment yet,should this month,does the treatment shut down sex completely?My wife is 12 yrs younger and we are or were pretty active but I worry  I'll even care? thanks God Bless
Bob

[sfwandwow]

heck i had a hard time telling my hubby, we were only married 1 yr. but he is the best support person i ever have..he is great and went to class and learn about it and we just have regular sex, he says if its meant to be for him to have it he will, and if not that awesome too..he really loves me unconditionally..Thats what a person should do to everyone.. he has alot of faith in the LORD.. If a person loves u truly they will accept it, i have been fortunate even my parents and family has been so suuportive,great since i did a u turn around about 15 yrs back... Iam great now, i couldnt do it without them.. Even my church family knows and they still treat me the same..its awesome..I know how cruel people can be, but we have to be honest on ourselves..Its still hard for me to tell people but i do it and gulp with a sigh, i just hate saying that word hepatitis C.. But i keep having grace when i tell people, like my dentist..its hard.. But GOd has carried me thru..  

[mikesimon]

If you care enough about a person to want to have sex then how hard can it be to just tell the truth about HCV?  If that ends the relationship it probably wasn't ever going to be a rewarding relationship. And, if you're not sure whether you want to be honest with this person, then don't have sex. Spend some more time and see if you grow to feel differently.  I'm assuming that most of us aren't teenagers - they often can't wait for anything, especially sex and neither could I was I was that age. But, I'm older and wiser now ... and I'm more honest - most of the time anyway. Mike