Aa
Has anyone noticed.......
Has anyone noticed that there are numerous women on this forum who are managing/researching their husband's treatment yet I have not noticed any men who are doing the same for their wives.
Perhaps I have missed something,but this superficial evidence suggests that women are more proactive in this department than men.
Interesting.
Perhaps I have missed something,but this superficial evidence suggests that women are more proactive in this department than men.
Interesting.
Actually, just this moment is the first I've read your post. I have a feeling it didn't get a word of appreciation because other posts pushed it off the page and it didn't get read.
It's a hard subject. I think men get much misaligned - and yet on this particular thing, I think the kind of caregiving and nurturing that seems to go with someone being ill doesn't come as naturally to a man as it does to a woman. Doing the hunting and gathering thing, men excel to be sure. I'm not sure we should pat women on the back for what they're naturally good at and malign men for what they're not naturally good at. Exceptions to the rule always but in a general sense, it's probably women who are better at caring for the sick than men. Maybe that's why more men are doctors and less women and more women are nurses and less men. Along with that childrearing thing ... and so on and so on. I happen to think that when we expect men to be like women, that's when we just set ourselves up for disappointment.
It's a hard subject. I think men get much misaligned - and yet on this particular thing, I think the kind of caregiving and nurturing that seems to go with someone being ill doesn't come as naturally to a man as it does to a woman. Doing the hunting and gathering thing, men excel to be sure. I'm not sure we should pat women on the back for what they're naturally good at and malign men for what they're not naturally good at. Exceptions to the rule always but in a general sense, it's probably women who are better at caring for the sick than men. Maybe that's why more men are doctors and less women and more women are nurses and less men. Along with that childrearing thing ... and so on and so on. I happen to think that when we expect men to be like women, that's when we just set ourselves up for disappointment.
My comment was a tongue-in-cheek response to HCA; it was not intended to categorize anyone nor was it meant to be disrespectful in anyway. I'm sorry if my attempt to interject some humor caused any one, or any gender, to seriously take offense. Instead, I guess could I have theorized:
"Men don't bother because they know their wives won't listen to anyone's good advice." Or would that have intimated an equally low level of understanding of human nature?
Husbands such as yourself and frank566, like many spouses mentioned in this post, are deserving of much credit and compassion -- my comment and/or its omission in addressing individual situations presented should not be construed as an indication of any particular attitude or my personal feelings. Perhaps just a shot at humor way off mark.
"Men don't bother because they know their wives won't listen to anyone's good advice." Or would that have intimated an equally low level of understanding of human nature?
Husbands such as yourself and frank566, like many spouses mentioned in this post, are deserving of much credit and compassion -- my comment and/or its omission in addressing individual situations presented should not be construed as an indication of any particular attitude or my personal feelings. Perhaps just a shot at humor way off mark.
Ah, male bashing...most women's favorite pastime. I love a good discussion as much as the next person, and am also wondering why no one responded to your declaration of compassion for your wife's condition and your helpful and caring attitude towards her.
I too had a wife who suffered from a condition that required a lot of research and trips to the doctor's offices. This condition lasted for five years and she took a lot of prescription pain meds, including hydrocodone. She became addicted and it was like living with a heroin addict; mood swings, outbursts, and other related side effects.
I stuck with her through it all, researched the history of the condition and found progressive physicians who could offer potential help. I also took care of our two children, cooked, cleaned, and worked at a job ten hours a day to pay for everything. I didn't berate her for her addiction nor did I ever consider leaving or not doing all I could to help her. I'm told that's what love is all about.
For anyone to categorize men OR women in one group of with the same character disorders is not indicative of a high level of understanding of human nature. They probably have difficulties in most of their own relationships, and it's understandable given the attitude of grouping each sex together with identical traits across the board.
I have terminal end stage liver disease resulting from Hep-C I got while serving in the Army during the Vietnam Era. My now EX-wife decided that she didn't want to endure helping me with doctors and the research into alternative medicines because it infringed on her freedom to live her life. Going for liver biopsies, ultrasounds, and watching me deteriorate was just too much for her. So, I continue on my own and don't regret for one minute helping her through the tough times.
Sorry you don't see more men answering the original question on this forum, but maybe they just don't like to join forums?
I too had a wife who suffered from a condition that required a lot of research and trips to the doctor's offices. This condition lasted for five years and she took a lot of prescription pain meds, including hydrocodone. She became addicted and it was like living with a heroin addict; mood swings, outbursts, and other related side effects.
I stuck with her through it all, researched the history of the condition and found progressive physicians who could offer potential help. I also took care of our two children, cooked, cleaned, and worked at a job ten hours a day to pay for everything. I didn't berate her for her addiction nor did I ever consider leaving or not doing all I could to help her. I'm told that's what love is all about.
For anyone to categorize men OR women in one group of with the same character disorders is not indicative of a high level of understanding of human nature. They probably have difficulties in most of their own relationships, and it's understandable given the attitude of grouping each sex together with identical traits across the board.
I have terminal end stage liver disease resulting from Hep-C I got while serving in the Army during the Vietnam Era. My now EX-wife decided that she didn't want to endure helping me with doctors and the research into alternative medicines because it infringed on her freedom to live her life. Going for liver biopsies, ultrasounds, and watching me deteriorate was just too much for her. So, I continue on my own and don't regret for one minute helping her through the tough times.
Sorry you don't see more men answering the original question on this forum, but maybe they just don't like to join forums?
Oh my Gosh! I could have sided with andiamo and Goofydad but no- I exposed my
feminen side and didn't get one word of appreciation-and that ladies is why men
don't give a hoot er, I mean darn.
feminen side and didn't get one word of appreciation-and that ladies is why men
don't give a hoot er, I mean darn.
Women just can't trust their husbands to make good decisions all on their own... ;)
Married 40 years to one woman and proud father to 3 children and 3 grand children.
Wife had cancer w both breasts removed and I was husband and father and played the mother role for a very long time. I am not offended by your post in the least but
although we may be wired differently it is sexist to jumble all men into one category.
We by nature are wired to hunt, gather, defend and die if necessary for our family and
or clan. This might sound sappy or self-serving but I cherish my wife and have always been there for her and she has always been here for me.
Wife had cancer w both breasts removed and I was husband and father and played the mother role for a very long time. I am not offended by your post in the least but
although we may be wired differently it is sexist to jumble all men into one category.
We by nature are wired to hunt, gather, defend and die if necessary for our family and
or clan. This might sound sappy or self-serving but I cherish my wife and have always been there for her and she has always been here for me.
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