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Joke of the day
An elderly woman walked into the Bank one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently..
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and a gain until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before.. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently..
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and a gain until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before.. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank
I think spring's was awesome!!! LMAO!
I also love all these jokes...
I now have fodder for work... LMAO!
Meki
I also love all these jokes...
I now have fodder for work... LMAO!
Meki
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.
After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,
"Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"
She responds in a loud voice :
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.
The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.
After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says,
"You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
The young man responds loudly with,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. FOR ONE NIGHT ? ! THATS TOO MUCH !"
After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,
"Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"
She responds in a loud voice :
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.
The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.
After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says,
"You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
The young man responds loudly with,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. FOR ONE NIGHT ? ! THATS TOO MUCH !"
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Will I live to see 80?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?
''Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, > 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very
unhealthy! '
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun?
'No, I don' t,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sexual partners?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a sh*t?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?
''Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, > 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very
unhealthy! '
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun?
'No, I don' t,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sexual partners?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a sh*t?
One morning John pinched his wife's bottom and said "if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle". Betsy bit her tongue.
The next morning John pinched Betsy's breast and said "if you firmed these up we could get rid on your bra".
Betsy reached over and pinched John's penis and said "if you firmed this up we could get rid of the pool man, the yard man and your Brother".
The next morning John pinched Betsy's breast and said "if you firmed these up we could get rid on your bra".
Betsy reached over and pinched John's penis and said "if you firmed this up we could get rid of the pool man, the yard man and your Brother".
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