Aa
Joke
Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous.
Her mother reassured her;
'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'
So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'
'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother,'all good men have hairy chests.. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again.. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'
'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again.
When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!'
Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'
Her mother reassured her;
'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'
So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'
'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother,'all good men have hairy chests.. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again.. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'
'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again.
When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!'
Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'
******** and Brilliance
>
>
> A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa taking her
> faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.
>
> One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
> discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
> rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
>
> The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some
> bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the
> bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
> about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one
> delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?
>
> Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
> of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!'
> says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
>
> Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the entire scene from a nearby
> tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
> protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees
> him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
> something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,
> spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
>
> The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here,
> monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
> canine!'
>
> Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
> and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the
> dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen
> them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle
> says:
>
> 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
> another leopard!'
>
> Moral of this story....
>
> Don't mess with old farts ... Age and treachery will always overcome
> youth and skill! ******** and brilliance only come with age and
> experience.
>
>
> A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa taking her
> faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.
>
> One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
> discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
> rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
>
> The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some
> bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the
> bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
> about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one
> delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?
>
> Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
> of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!'
> says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
>
> Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the entire scene from a nearby
> tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
> protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees
> him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
> something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,
> spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
>
> The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here,
> monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
> canine!'
>
> Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
> and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the
> dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen
> them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle
> says:
>
> 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
> another leopard!'
>
> Moral of this story....
>
> Don't mess with old farts ... Age and treachery will always overcome
> youth and skill! ******** and brilliance only come with age and
> experience.
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow either leg to come up to the height of the first step of the
bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack
to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a businessman who happened to be a rather large strapping Newfoundlander who was standing behind her, picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be samaritan and yelled, "How dare you manhandle me! I don't even know who the heck you are!"
The Newfie smiled and said, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were at least friends."
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow either leg to come up to the height of the first step of the
bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack
to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a businessman who happened to be a rather large strapping Newfoundlander who was standing behind her, picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be samaritan and yelled, "How dare you manhandle me! I don't even know who the heck you are!"
The Newfie smiled and said, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were at least friends."
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