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Just some medical humor for the day... EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susa n Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susa n Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA
You are so funny! "of course dead as a doornail"
Poptartpossum had a good attitude about the possum. She was pretty funny, of course I worry about her now that she doesn't post.
Have fun celebrating President's Day!
Janice
Poptartpossum had a good attitude about the possum. She was pretty funny, of course I worry about her now that she doesn't post.
Have fun celebrating President's Day!
Janice
" She pulled up next to him and gave him her poptart. When she came back from work the possum was in the road squashed and so was the poptart! "
What the F*** !!! LOL !!! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Good night.
What the F*** !!! LOL !!! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Good night.
OMG! Too much! You definitely have to write a book ya know!
But the bambi story, boo hoo, so sad. That had to be a nighmare cuz I can see you're an animal lover too.
I know they always say there are too many deer so they have to allow people to hunt, but I just never could understand how people can kill a pretty deer. They remind me of dogs. Plus the nut jobs with the bow and arrows. Now ya know they all don't know how to use a bow and arrow. I worry about the poor deer that get hit in the leg or neck and run away with the arrow stuck in them. wah-wah. soooooo sad.
But if ya write the book I want a copy and don't forget to write in it that MYown inspired you to write the book. hehe!
But the bambi story, boo hoo, so sad. That had to be a nighmare cuz I can see you're an animal lover too.
I know they always say there are too many deer so they have to allow people to hunt, but I just never could understand how people can kill a pretty deer. They remind me of dogs. Plus the nut jobs with the bow and arrows. Now ya know they all don't know how to use a bow and arrow. I worry about the poor deer that get hit in the leg or neck and run away with the arrow stuck in them. wah-wah. soooooo sad.
But if ya write the book I want a copy and don't forget to write in it that MYown inspired you to write the book. hehe!
Funny stories! Poor bambi! Are you sure you don't know Child24Angel? She rescues skunks she hits.
Oh I thought it was funny AT THE TIME. Brother, I've been through so much stuff in my life. 7 years ago I had a heart attack and my buddy stopped at the liquor store on the way to taking me to the hospital. I kid you not. I hit a small doe doing 85 miles an hour on a desolate road in the Texas hill country at 4:00AM and spent 2 hours with bambi lying on me in the front seat, dying. Once I was driving from Denver to Austin, quite wasted and apparently not driving to the satisfaction of others. I stopped to get some gas in some small town up in the Texas panhandle, and two cowboys got out of a pickup truck going on about my driving as in, 'What the hell is your PROBLEM' ? , beat me unconsious and stole my wallet. Shall I go on ?
See, there's one good thing about years of chemical and alcohol abuse. If you live through 'em, you can end up with some pretty good stories. There's some bad stories as well. That's another topic.
See, there's one good thing about years of chemical and alcohol abuse. If you live through 'em, you can end up with some pretty good stories. There's some bad stories as well. That's another topic.
Remember poptartpossum? She got her name because she was going to work one morning eating a poptart and she saw a possum in the road. She pulled up next to him and gave him her poptart. When she came back from work the possum was in the road squashed and so was the poptart! She hasn't posted since before Christmas I think.
Okay how was i supposed to know to take the old ones off
Sorry you had to go thru that, but it makes for a funny story now,,BUT CERTAINLY NOT at the moment.
ewwww.. that would have been bad. I kinda have a story about a friend of mine , that was bad like that. But gotta get back to work.
I got a laugh out of those last evening and had to forward them on.
Hope everyone enjoys as much..
I got a laugh out of those last evening and had to forward them on.
Hope everyone enjoys as much..
I had to go the ER for severe stomach pain. I was running a fever of 102 so it seemed like a good idea. They admitted me and gave me some dimerol which didn't really help. The doc finally saw me and sceduled me for an MRI but he could clearly see I was in pain. Nurse comes in a few minutes later with a huge syringe and gives me a big old shot of dialudid (synthetic morphine). Pain gone !!!
They have me drink all this 'stuff' for the MRI and about 2 hours later they come and get me for the MRI. They pull me over from the gurney to the MRI table, and mind you, I'm pretty relaxed right now. The nurse is talking to me over a lspeaker telling me to 'breath in, hold my breath, exhale ...etc...etc.' She asks me if I'm okay and I tell her ....
'I really need to go to the bathroom ...'
Well to make a long story short, I wasn't kidding. But that wasn't the bad part of it. Afterwards they wheeled me back to ICU and she said, 'A nurse will come in in a few minutes to clean you up. '
And she did. And she looked like she came straight off the pages of playboy. Beautiful young woman. And here I am, with poop all over me. It was a HUMILIATING experience.
They have me drink all this 'stuff' for the MRI and about 2 hours later they come and get me for the MRI. They pull me over from the gurney to the MRI table, and mind you, I'm pretty relaxed right now. The nurse is talking to me over a lspeaker telling me to 'breath in, hold my breath, exhale ...etc...etc.' She asks me if I'm okay and I tell her ....
'I really need to go to the bathroom ...'
Well to make a long story short, I wasn't kidding. But that wasn't the bad part of it. Afterwards they wheeled me back to ICU and she said, 'A nurse will come in in a few minutes to clean you up. '
And she did. And she looked like she came straight off the pages of playboy. Beautiful young woman. And here I am, with poop all over me. It was a HUMILIATING experience.
These were really funny - got me giggling. Thanks - It was a nice way to start my day....
Thanks Jim.. that worked.. posting to the post again. took away 40 replies to wrong post. from 2 months ago.
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