Aa
NOT whining...but wondering!
There is just NO rhyme or reason to tx! NO figuring it out! You’ll feel ‘okay’, maybe even ‘good’ a few days, your all excited thinking….alright, I can do this! I’m going to do a couple extra weeks!
Than bam…..down again. No way to plan anything! All you that plan trips amaze me as I wouldn’t right now because of that. I’d hate to take a ‘fun’ trip and be like this the whole time. It’s hard to figure how one day your ok, the next….food poisoning with a hangover and been beaten up, while feeling bad stoned! Even with chemo for cancer, usually they are sicker the week of chemo, better as time goes, etc. With this.... sick one shot, not the next, sick 2 days after shot, next week sicker 2 days before shot…than there’s the Riba!
I can’t even plan a lunch date! (unless it’s breakfast with Susan Wed. cause you know what it’s like :}
Not whining….just wondering! And I’m ALMOST done :} :} :} :}
Now I can plan a ‘fun’ trip :} Hey, even a trip to the mall will be fun ….and I am NOT a mall person, lol!
(and not doing ‘extra’ for today!!)
When I always say….have a good day, I really mean that!
LL
Think about tapering off. I know this isn't fun, but it may help.
Hi ya! How are you doing?
Almost done with my fight :} 3 weeks to go.
(wonderful brain fog moment....)
Dr..... "you only have 3 more shots", Me..."uh uhhh, I have 4", NP and DR. "no you have 3"....whoooo hoooo. Something I'm glad I forgot, screwed up.lol!
LL
Almost done with my fight :} 3 weeks to go.
(wonderful brain fog moment....)
Dr..... "you only have 3 more shots", Me..."uh uhhh, I have 4", NP and DR. "no you have 3"....whoooo hoooo. Something I'm glad I forgot, screwed up.lol!
LL
TREATMNT SUCKS-no doubt about that...it's sneaky,perverse and very very mean tempered..y'all keep them eyes on the prize...focus on yr endgame... then go riding in the wind after it's all in the past...one more month and you will have KICKED virus BUTT...take care,easy does it,just break on thru to the otherside...
Great! 4 weeks to go. I still have the brian fog, but am trying to go to school. Even with 2 classes I am having trouble making it through. I have to find a kid to test...having trouble finding one. Reading is also troublesome, lot's to read! I sure hope I don't have trouble making it through. Tx is not an opition at this point...will find out soon if I have to tx sooner rather than later. Yep, Jumanji is fits well on tx. Knock yourself out girl. You are gonna make it through and hope your post tx goes well.
Linda
Linda
Shot 20 today! (doing 24)!
Thought you were about to start again?! Doing biz is hard ! I can't make good sense, specially in person...to do much! God knows what will pop out of my mouth thinking fast,lol! (DO you want the *&%$#^% product or not you *&^%$ idiot!")
LMAO!
Oh yeah, Jumanji fits well, roll the dice every AM and never know whats coming!
Rolling the 'dice' again in about 3 hours! Have just knocked myself out the past few!
Works when needed!!
LL
Thought you were about to start again?! Doing biz is hard ! I can't make good sense, specially in person...to do much! God knows what will pop out of my mouth thinking fast,lol! (DO you want the *&%$#^% product or not you *&^%$ idiot!")
LMAO!
Oh yeah, Jumanji fits well, roll the dice every AM and never know whats coming!
Rolling the 'dice' again in about 3 hours! Have just knocked myself out the past few!
Works when needed!!
LL
Oh no, not yet. I am going to get a fibroscan this week in LA. Now I just need to figure out how I am NOT going to drive myself. I get lost everywhere! Even at home. Yep, the pay is lousy on tx, but the prize of SVR would make it worth it. I have to get a job that pays and am in school now to get my own practice going soon. My mortgage is high and I need to contribute. It's been 3 years! Now if the fibroscan is not good, I will start tx sooner than I want to. I had very little damage a year ago with the scan.
Jumanji, have you seen the movie? Tx is so like that! Funny, but not. I figure once I have that master's, I can make my own workload and hopefully make appts that will fit. I sure wasnt' to successful at it during the last tx. I just quit making them! I sure hope you don't have to do this again. How much longer do you have?
Jumanji, have you seen the movie? Tx is so like that! Funny, but not. I figure once I have that master's, I can make my own workload and hopefully make appts that will fit. I sure wasnt' to successful at it during the last tx. I just quit making them! I sure hope you don't have to do this again. How much longer do you have?
I made it my job. I did nothing else...................
Me too, but the cash pay is lousy :} tho the prize IS better than cash:}
Guess your about to start that 'job' again :{ ?
LL
Me too, but the cash pay is lousy :} tho the prize IS better than cash:}
Guess your about to start that 'job' again :{ ?
LL
I call it Jumagi, you never, ever know how you will feel. I quit making appts for anything. I did take a few trips to Jamacia and overseas, don't know how I did it....but it seemed to feel pretty good, once I got there. Nice to get away from the whole dribble of things. I feel you honey! You will be over tx in no time, it may not feel like it now, but you will. Hey, even afterwards it takes a bit of time to recover. but you are doing good for your liver and that is the main goal. I made it my job. I did nothing else. Didn't get my hair done, or nails done or make massage appts or anything else. I was on tx and knew it would end. Unfortunately, it ended sooner than I wanted and I relapsed. Make it your job to get through tx the best you can. There is a prize at the end for most of us.
All my best!
Linda
All my best!
Linda
Lol I have to find my book of jokes, cept I forgot where I put it!
I feel if you do not ALWAYS look around you at others worse off (something a friend of mine REALLY needs to learn!).........you will become absorbed in self pity, selfishness, loose your 'heart', the greatest loss of all!
That was so well said, and I couldn't agree more. I always find helping some one sharing, well it always works in helping me not to be selfish, to find a way threw it!
Some people get so caught up in details, the drama, the small stuff, the details, they forget to laugh and live!
Lol Salmon! and a glass of lemoide!
Deb
I feel if you do not ALWAYS look around you at others worse off (something a friend of mine REALLY needs to learn!).........you will become absorbed in self pity, selfishness, loose your 'heart', the greatest loss of all!
That was so well said, and I couldn't agree more. I always find helping some one sharing, well it always works in helping me not to be selfish, to find a way threw it!
Some people get so caught up in details, the drama, the small stuff, the details, they forget to laugh and live!
Lol Salmon! and a glass of lemoide!
Deb
Now I am all emotional..................
okay, now that we're all crying again!! Any good jokes,lol.
I feel if you do not ALWAYS look around you at others worse off (something a friend of mine REALLY needs to learn!).........you will become absorbed in self pity, selfishness, loose your 'heart', the greatest loss of all!
HOW can you really whine if you look 'around' you at so many suffering/needing more?
(Not our occasional tx "God I feel like quitting, like sheeet' whines", the ones out there in the world who think they have it soooo bad, and don't!)
And sounds like you have proven endurance and sense of humor yourself!
When ya' get lemons.....buy some salmon :}
LL
okay, now that we're all crying again!! Any good jokes,lol.
I feel if you do not ALWAYS look around you at others worse off (something a friend of mine REALLY needs to learn!).........you will become absorbed in self pity, selfishness, loose your 'heart', the greatest loss of all!
HOW can you really whine if you look 'around' you at so many suffering/needing more?
(Not our occasional tx "God I feel like quitting, like sheeet' whines", the ones out there in the world who think they have it soooo bad, and don't!)
And sounds like you have proven endurance and sense of humor yourself!
When ya' get lemons.....buy some salmon :}
LL
this just broke my heart to read, it never ceases to amaze me the fight we as humans have to persevere.
I had a terrible accident in Germany, learned to walk again, got through so much.
I saw young soldiers with no limbs and serious burns at Walter Reed, 95 % of them forged ahead, the human spirit to fight on is remarkable. I steal a lot of their determination on bad days.
What wonderful brave women you all are, ok some of the guys too :), I am amazed at your endurance and your sense of humors!
People who have cleared like NYG, who still comes to educate and support, so unselfish, it is pretty awesome knowing you all.
Now I am all emotional,
Ciao la bella donnas!
deb
I had a terrible accident in Germany, learned to walk again, got through so much.
I saw young soldiers with no limbs and serious burns at Walter Reed, 95 % of them forged ahead, the human spirit to fight on is remarkable. I steal a lot of their determination on bad days.
What wonderful brave women you all are, ok some of the guys too :), I am amazed at your endurance and your sense of humors!
People who have cleared like NYG, who still comes to educate and support, so unselfish, it is pretty awesome knowing you all.
Now I am all emotional,
Ciao la bella donnas!
deb
You've got mail.
............ I hope that it all makes the pain SO worth it...................
Absolutely! Honestly, it's brought many good things and changes to my life, awareness in area's I needed to 'see' more, a fight shared with so many good people, a fight to continue to 'help' in and meeting many, good, genuine people. New friends :} Had I not seen what others go thru, how ‘lucky’ I am in this, I may have quit, ran from tx! Can’t imagine going thru this, feeling so bad and not having all the help from others in/on and dealing with the same.
My entire journey has been and believe will be, a blessing in (an awful) disguise :}!
LL
Absolutely! Honestly, it's brought many good things and changes to my life, awareness in area's I needed to 'see' more, a fight shared with so many good people, a fight to continue to 'help' in and meeting many, good, genuine people. New friends :} Had I not seen what others go thru, how ‘lucky’ I am in this, I may have quit, ran from tx! Can’t imagine going thru this, feeling so bad and not having all the help from others in/on and dealing with the same.
My entire journey has been and believe will be, a blessing in (an awful) disguise :}!
LL
I wish I knew but I don't and I don't think I've ever read a good explanation for it. One thing that ya sometimes hear is that if you feel ***@**** you KNOW it's working. When you feel the flu like symptoms it can be a sign that your immune system is kicking in. A fever; often it is your immune system raising your temp to killoff the invaders.
The wonderful thing is that you'll soon be done with it.....very likely FOREVER. That will be a wonderful treat for your sister and your family. I hope that it all makes the pain SO worth it.
best,
willy
willy willy willy
The wonderful thing is that you'll soon be done with it.....very likely FOREVER. That will be a wonderful treat for your sister and your family. I hope that it all makes the pain SO worth it.
best,
willy
willy willy willy
Ok, that was winded, scattered and double signing! Time for bed!
You have certainly had some unfair knocks here! Chemo for cancer and now this!
Are you cured? For how long now? Why 3 rounds, if you don’t mind me asking and can pm if not wanting to post…or just say none ya biz :} How would you compare the difference in tx's? Sides?
My sis has had that awful pump twice and is on her 8th year of chemo, with average 6mths. per year ON it, so I have seen that, also awful, 'routine'. Also my close friend. Always crushed me when they'd say " I just want some 'normal' for even a little while' :{ (Melissa never got it, still hoping my sis will.) While I have now gotten to feel it 1st hand, I can not stress how seeing them, others has made me 'appreciate' my situation, strangely, but you know what I mean. She get's upset when I don't tell her much, as per sick, etc. and pull's that jmjm type quote of 'you ARE sick TOO, you can complain", as I won't much looking at her situation. I moved in this house (behind her) to be close and how ironic, we are now doing ‘chemo’ together! I started at Shands same day as she was next door doing hers, left my 1st shot and went to see her.
(and my father with 2 daughters there, hard for him). We now joke thru sick days together, she hands ginger ale/apricot nectar over the fence to me or I send some to her! If she cooks, sends it over and vice versa. She does, however, continue to break my heart, to long and hard of a battle, she's done so well and is getting too tired/worn down.
We are ‘sick together’ and have agreed, this special sister bond has to stop at times :}
We have discovered tho, that as you said, with no breaks in dosing, this $hit is hard, always sick, while she get’s good weeks, BUT……still just can’t compare to what she, and many go thru in that, especially when it is incurable, maintenance chemo. (less/no chance of cure/progression, etc.).She get’s me thru mine, thinking of her battle and not allowing myself too much whining on my short 24 week battle. Anytime it’s shot day, I think of her in that chemo chair for hours and say ‘buck up and slam the shot woman’!
Yep, we get to feel human again soon, too many don't.
You'll get SVR :} It's your time for a real break! And have a great relaxing trip!
Added scuba diving to my list of after tx things to do :}
You teach me that, I'll teach you to ride,lol. Somehow I make out ahead there as if I fall down, it won't hurt :}
LL
LL
Are you cured? For how long now? Why 3 rounds, if you don’t mind me asking and can pm if not wanting to post…or just say none ya biz :} How would you compare the difference in tx's? Sides?
My sis has had that awful pump twice and is on her 8th year of chemo, with average 6mths. per year ON it, so I have seen that, also awful, 'routine'. Also my close friend. Always crushed me when they'd say " I just want some 'normal' for even a little while' :{ (Melissa never got it, still hoping my sis will.) While I have now gotten to feel it 1st hand, I can not stress how seeing them, others has made me 'appreciate' my situation, strangely, but you know what I mean. She get's upset when I don't tell her much, as per sick, etc. and pull's that jmjm type quote of 'you ARE sick TOO, you can complain", as I won't much looking at her situation. I moved in this house (behind her) to be close and how ironic, we are now doing ‘chemo’ together! I started at Shands same day as she was next door doing hers, left my 1st shot and went to see her.
(and my father with 2 daughters there, hard for him). We now joke thru sick days together, she hands ginger ale/apricot nectar over the fence to me or I send some to her! If she cooks, sends it over and vice versa. She does, however, continue to break my heart, to long and hard of a battle, she's done so well and is getting too tired/worn down.
We are ‘sick together’ and have agreed, this special sister bond has to stop at times :}
We have discovered tho, that as you said, with no breaks in dosing, this $hit is hard, always sick, while she get’s good weeks, BUT……still just can’t compare to what she, and many go thru in that, especially when it is incurable, maintenance chemo. (less/no chance of cure/progression, etc.).She get’s me thru mine, thinking of her battle and not allowing myself too much whining on my short 24 week battle. Anytime it’s shot day, I think of her in that chemo chair for hours and say ‘buck up and slam the shot woman’!
Yep, we get to feel human again soon, too many don't.
You'll get SVR :} It's your time for a real break! And have a great relaxing trip!
Added scuba diving to my list of after tx things to do :}
You teach me that, I'll teach you to ride,lol. Somehow I make out ahead there as if I fall down, it won't hurt :}
LL
LL
You're right, cancer tx was much more predictable. You know when you will feel like cr@p, approximately how cr@ppy you will feel and for how long. Also, all 3 chemos I did were of much shorter duration and you got breaks between cycles (except the one when they hooked me up to a pump, strapped it to me in a fanny pack and pumped poison into me 24 hours a day, and even that program took weekends off!!!)
Planning stuff - yeah, its a real cr@pshoot. Sometimes I cancel last minute, and sometimes I drag my sorry butt out when I really shouldn't just to prove to myself that I can. Stubborn, pigheaded Irish girls will DO that stupd stuff!
I'm going down swinging if it comes to that. But so far nothing has shaken my belief that I will be SVR.
Won't it be great to just feel human again? Can't wait to be a PERSON again, instead of just a patient.
jd
Planning stuff - yeah, its a real cr@pshoot. Sometimes I cancel last minute, and sometimes I drag my sorry butt out when I really shouldn't just to prove to myself that I can. Stubborn, pigheaded Irish girls will DO that stupd stuff!
I'm going down swinging if it comes to that. But so far nothing has shaken my belief that I will be SVR.
Won't it be great to just feel human again? Can't wait to be a PERSON again, instead of just a patient.
jd
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