Aa
how do I explain?
How do I explain to my husband about the inability to retain things ie memory. We are self employed and we are getting to our busy season.before tx he would tell me 15 things and I had no problem but now I am lucky if I remember just one or 2 things from even last night. It is not only driving him crazy but sometimes I think I am going nuts. I usually retained everything, I remember some things but for some reason others just elude me. help, I need it to help him understand.
Then there is the checkbooks..........I let them go over the winter, the numbers just made me crazy and forget it if I didn't balance. I check balances online but I know that is not good enough. Payroll taxes, quickbooks, IRS lady wanting reports and her money plus penalties & interest. I am the only one who has done the books for 15 years and hate every minute of it but the feeling of hate is overwhelming now. I know it needs done by me, we can't really afford to pay someone to do it. I know I am not going to find the answer to kicking me in the butt to get my books done just wondering if many others have feelings like these.
Denise
Then there is the checkbooks..........I let them go over the winter, the numbers just made me crazy and forget it if I didn't balance. I check balances online but I know that is not good enough. Payroll taxes, quickbooks, IRS lady wanting reports and her money plus penalties & interest. I am the only one who has done the books for 15 years and hate every minute of it but the feeling of hate is overwhelming now. I know it needs done by me, we can't really afford to pay someone to do it. I know I am not going to find the answer to kicking me in the butt to get my books done just wondering if many others have feelings like these.
Denise
AH shoot I just deleted the whole thing by accident!!!!!!!!
Please please please GSD!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It can take up to one full year for someone who'd done 48 weeks to feel "back to normal" if EVER (and it depends how strange they were to start off with LOL).
Seriously! Right now at eight weeks - who knows how much of the riba is still floating around inside you.....you build up a serious level during treamtent! It makes HUGE changes in your body...it's not like a pill that floats down your throat and bang bang bang like a gun kills stuff or stop it from replicating.......heck it's inside your cells (good you want it to make sure you are SVR!) and every fiber of your body right now.
The physiological changes that your body has gone through are in no way just going to stop automatically like that. It will take TIME for things to get back to normal.
For someone who's done 72 weeks it will take over a year and a half sometimes to get better (I know I didn't feel sort of normal until 16 months!)
It will come back but honey stop beating yourself up.............................you are WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too early into recovery right now to be in any way "normal".
Please.........it will take time.......just understand that and hang on! (Heck I still have "moments" where I do the "duh, huh, doy" comment to my boss now!)
You'll get there. Stop stressing yourself and let your hubby know this is NORMAL! and you are trying but it WILL take time.
And then remember..........this is WHY I am SVR........this is WHY I am SVR..........and talk positively for the good outcome! :)
Deb
Please please please GSD!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It can take up to one full year for someone who'd done 48 weeks to feel "back to normal" if EVER (and it depends how strange they were to start off with LOL).
Seriously! Right now at eight weeks - who knows how much of the riba is still floating around inside you.....you build up a serious level during treamtent! It makes HUGE changes in your body...it's not like a pill that floats down your throat and bang bang bang like a gun kills stuff or stop it from replicating.......heck it's inside your cells (good you want it to make sure you are SVR!) and every fiber of your body right now.
The physiological changes that your body has gone through are in no way just going to stop automatically like that. It will take TIME for things to get back to normal.
For someone who's done 72 weeks it will take over a year and a half sometimes to get better (I know I didn't feel sort of normal until 16 months!)
It will come back but honey stop beating yourself up.............................you are WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too early into recovery right now to be in any way "normal".
Please.........it will take time.......just understand that and hang on! (Heck I still have "moments" where I do the "duh, huh, doy" comment to my boss now!)
You'll get there. Stop stressing yourself and let your hubby know this is NORMAL! and you are trying but it WILL take time.
And then remember..........this is WHY I am SVR........this is WHY I am SVR..........and talk positively for the good outcome! :)
Deb
I am 8 weeks off tx. I thought that maybe the second week after everything would be back to normal, it is not. Hubby was great during tx and he is still great just impatient with me & I am impatient with me. Yesterday was a meltdown day, haven't had one of those is a while.
Thanks for the answers, post it notes are good, my answer to those are stacks of paperwork. Our new (last year) health ins is a high deductable health savings acct. Couldn't afford the 1000.00 a month any longer so this one was 530.00 now 600.00. So I have that stack, the business stack, the due now stack, the due real soon stack, the just overdue stack, the tax stack, the personal bills stack. As soon as a few weeks go by the stacks need to change, doubles need thrown out & when payments are made the stacks need to shift also. I guess I am having a delayed pity party.
Thanks for the answers, post it notes are good, my answer to those are stacks of paperwork. Our new (last year) health ins is a high deductable health savings acct. Couldn't afford the 1000.00 a month any longer so this one was 530.00 now 600.00. So I have that stack, the business stack, the due now stack, the due real soon stack, the just overdue stack, the tax stack, the personal bills stack. As soon as a few weeks go by the stacks need to change, doubles need thrown out & when payments are made the stacks need to shift also. I guess I am having a delayed pity party.
Posty notes! I so lived thru posty notes thru out tx! Had them everywhere! Some friends bought me a stack in jest, I loved them.
While I also already hate paperwork.....doing on tx was quite a struggle. And mine is pretty basic, but it took twice the time.
A few times thru tx I copied a couple of threads and let friends, family read them. It did help. Often when we're talking to a loved one, they tune us out :) Hearing it from others may help.
Good luck, LL
While I also already hate paperwork.....doing on tx was quite a struggle. And mine is pretty basic, but it took twice the time.
A few times thru tx I copied a couple of threads and let friends, family read them. It did help. Often when we're talking to a loved one, they tune us out :) Hearing it from others may help.
Good luck, LL
How about making lists, when he fires 15 things at you, say whoa! Let me write this all down! Brain fog is common, but knowing that sure doesn't make it easier!
Find a way to teach him to slow down also maybe he will realize he needs to slow down. just don't loose your list!
I used to do that when I worked!
Hang in there!
Deb
Find a way to teach him to slow down also maybe he will realize he needs to slow down. just don't loose your list!
I used to do that when I worked!
Hang in there!
Deb
Totally common occurrence.
My Boss would come in and say "Do A, B, C" I'd nod my head, turn around --- and for the life of me... I couldn't remember what he asked me to do.
I remembered that he asked me to do something... But not what... And if I didn't write it down IMMEDIATELY --- and double check it --- it was GONE...
There was NO recall.
No memory of it.
I work in a VERY sensitive job...
People's lives are in my hand.
The ONLY time I remembered things - was when adrenaline pumped.
So --- if it had to do with something that was major --- I kept repeating it to myself - over and over and over... Because I was and am responsible for people.
But the only way I survived was by writing constant notes --- sticky notes - etc... to myself.
I found what triggered memory - and if it didn't trigger - I was SOL.
Coffee seemed to help a little... OK - a lot. But that was mostly from the fatigue.
journaling my day helped tremendously.
A daytimer - to keep me on schedule - and lots of notes --- and a spiral notebook of things to do where the only things that allowed me to keep my job.
There were times when my boss would come in - and he would look at me kind of strange --- and I'd be like --- WHAT????? What did I forget to do?
And he'd pick up some paperwork and say --- don't you remember how to do this? I know I showed you how... And I'd be drawing a solid blank... I mean a freaking BRICK WALL ---- blank... And I'd just sit there and say to myself "SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT"...
Funny now -- but I really don't know how they put up with me...
I'm operating at about 85% better a year later --- but it was a REALLY HARD year... REALLY HARD...
And I think that during that year --- I must have been operating at -150%...
So that gives you some idea of what to expect.
Tell hubby to read the forum -- and read the BRAIN FOG stuff...
But tell him to either accept it all - or just to hold on --- it DOES GET BETTER -- but it DOES TAKE TIME...
Meki
My Boss would come in and say "Do A, B, C" I'd nod my head, turn around --- and for the life of me... I couldn't remember what he asked me to do.
I remembered that he asked me to do something... But not what... And if I didn't write it down IMMEDIATELY --- and double check it --- it was GONE...
There was NO recall.
No memory of it.
I work in a VERY sensitive job...
People's lives are in my hand.
The ONLY time I remembered things - was when adrenaline pumped.
So --- if it had to do with something that was major --- I kept repeating it to myself - over and over and over... Because I was and am responsible for people.
But the only way I survived was by writing constant notes --- sticky notes - etc... to myself.
I found what triggered memory - and if it didn't trigger - I was SOL.
Coffee seemed to help a little... OK - a lot. But that was mostly from the fatigue.
journaling my day helped tremendously.
A daytimer - to keep me on schedule - and lots of notes --- and a spiral notebook of things to do where the only things that allowed me to keep my job.
There were times when my boss would come in - and he would look at me kind of strange --- and I'd be like --- WHAT????? What did I forget to do?
And he'd pick up some paperwork and say --- don't you remember how to do this? I know I showed you how... And I'd be drawing a solid blank... I mean a freaking BRICK WALL ---- blank... And I'd just sit there and say to myself "SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT"...
Funny now -- but I really don't know how they put up with me...
I'm operating at about 85% better a year later --- but it was a REALLY HARD year... REALLY HARD...
And I think that during that year --- I must have been operating at -150%...
So that gives you some idea of what to expect.
Tell hubby to read the forum -- and read the BRAIN FOG stuff...
But tell him to either accept it all - or just to hold on --- it DOES GET BETTER -- but it DOES TAKE TIME...
Meki
Unfortunately what FLGuy said is true.......it's not that unusual at all. My boss thought I was a complete moron because he would say something and by the time he finished the sentence...I'd already forgotten what he said and would look at him and go "huh???". Yup it was fantastic.
To be honest it still happens sometimes now - 18 months post treatment but it's a thousand times better. Somehow in the middle of treatment I got promoted and my new boss is fully aware of everything and he always makes a joke out of it for me "Deb what have you been smokin'" and then he'll laugh so I don't feel so bad.
People don't understand how frustrating it is for us. You can tell them and tell them and tell them but until it happens to THEM...well...you're just blowing hot air at them.
Hopefully, you can print this thread out when it gets some more responses and your husband can see from a group of people what is happening to you is dreadful and completely not your fault. Just because we "look" fine people think when you are on treatment that you "are" fine. Most heppers struggle really hard to give the appearance that everything is a ok (we really are some tough cookies) and in doing that we sort of take away some of our "pity points". sometimes I think we'd all be better off hanging a sign around our necks saying "I look fine but man I don't feel it!"
Good luck, I hope that he "gets it" and that your memory improves really soon!
(PS What week are you on?)
Debby
To be honest it still happens sometimes now - 18 months post treatment but it's a thousand times better. Somehow in the middle of treatment I got promoted and my new boss is fully aware of everything and he always makes a joke out of it for me "Deb what have you been smokin'" and then he'll laugh so I don't feel so bad.
People don't understand how frustrating it is for us. You can tell them and tell them and tell them but until it happens to THEM...well...you're just blowing hot air at them.
Hopefully, you can print this thread out when it gets some more responses and your husband can see from a group of people what is happening to you is dreadful and completely not your fault. Just because we "look" fine people think when you are on treatment that you "are" fine. Most heppers struggle really hard to give the appearance that everything is a ok (we really are some tough cookies) and in doing that we sort of take away some of our "pity points". sometimes I think we'd all be better off hanging a sign around our necks saying "I look fine but man I don't feel it!"
Good luck, I hope that he "gets it" and that your memory improves really soon!
(PS What week are you on?)
Debby
Your situation is not too unusual for tx. My job requires a lot of detailed knowledge readily available. On tx, that ability was significantly impaired in addition to the strangeness of not being able to reacall a needed random word to use in regular conversation. To combat that, somewhat, I relied on notes, lists, documenting conversations and so on. After business phone conversations I'd quickly recap the gist in a notebook marking the date, time and participants. There are some things you can do to keep from looking like a complete dunderhead. Also during tx I would really try to do some mental gymnastics to try to keep a little sharper and retain a little focus. Memory games with the kids, puzzles, reading and the like. The best exercise I found was driving with my young daughter in the back seat. We'd play tic-tac-toe with her holding the paper and pencil. I'd have to remember where I told her my marks would be and she'd tell me where she made hers. I really think that your brain can get out of shape if you don't exercise it during tx. But, really frustrating.
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