I quit smoking and drinking long before I found out about the HepC. I was homeless in the FL Keys. Yep, I was seeing the Florida Keys on my hands and knees. I migrated on my bicycle from Key Largo to Key West in the Winter. Over 100 miles with everthing I needed to make camp on my bike. I kept telling myself I was having fun, and keeping my acholism away from my family. I always kept a camp of some sort. I would have sober periods where I would work in resturaunts or Day Labor, but for the most part, it was beer for breakfeast, lunch and dinner. I could panhandle a parking lot and make $30 in 20 minutes. I knew every inch of the Keys, but I could never find my way out. I was with an abusive acholic, being raped and beaten was a daily way of life. Everytime I got away from him he would find me and ruin my new life somehow. He ripped out my hair by dragging me through the woods with it, or my wrists or feet. Finally he ended up in jail for 2 weeks and I made my great escape to the Ocala National Forest. In a very short time I quit drinking. Life away from the monster was sweet. Here I went to work from my camp, and saved that money to get out of Florida during the summer, and be homeless in some cool mountains for the summer, then back to Ocala during the Fl winter.
I drank every day, not at home, but at the bars since 1985 when I got divorced. Diagnosed on 9/11/2002 and have only had about 6 beers since then. Wish I would have stopped a lot earlier. After about 3 months of not drinking and in the middle of my first treatment, I noticed my bank account and was freaking out about what I hadn't paid and what they were going to come and take back :) It was the money from not drinking, I can't believe I spent that much money on booze. Decided during my second round of treatments in 2004 that I needed something, so I bought a motorcycle and have been riding every since. Relapsed both times, I am getting ready to start the triple treatment soon I hope.
Find another passion to fill the void of feeling left out. I never would have thought that I could find something and have so much fun without drinking. If I were still drinking, I would have never experienced traveling around the country on my bike.
To bad we cant all hang out together....(In person) We have so much in common.. But I'll take what I can get and when I can, hang with youse-guys in cyber-space. :)
Hey thanks everyone for your comments.
I try to stay upbeat and compassionate, keeping my focus and humor intact, which can be challenging at times.
Ironically, all this alcohol based thinking recently came to a head with an old friend, who confessed to a recent DUI, then kept whining, " what am I going to do?" about various things falling apart in her life.
I told her she was an alcoholic and needed to deal with stressful situations in a different way.
Normally, I listen to people and keep my opinions to myself, but she kept complaining and asking, so. . .
Anyway, thanks for understanding.
I totally understand what you are saying. Many years before I was dx'd with HCV, I made a conscious decision to abandon my group of friends because I just didn't fit in. They had a "Friday night club" that pretty much was gather at a pre-designated person's house and drink all night and talk about "the old days". I wasn't a drinker so I sat there pretty much bored out of my mind about their old stories; wondering why they didn't want to live a life that created new things to talk about. After a year or so of this it dawned on me that I was letting life pass me by by hanging around with this group of friends. It was hard to back out of the group but I did it gradually and never regretted it. I realized I want to live my life and not just talk about a life I once lived.
For me, it was fairly easy because none of these friends were part of my family and I went on to make new friends that shared my view of life. It won't be quite that easy for many people that want to make a change because we can't always just walk away from friends/family.
But...I do understand what you are saying...
I quit cigarettes 25 some years ago, and miss hem. The other night I was watching a Linkin Park concert on TV, getting some work done, and a beer would have been sooo nice - I really miss that. I just quit the sauce when I started treatment 3 weeks ago. I wasn't a heavy drinker at all, 1 cold one after work, but back in the day, I did put them back. On my hurting liver! Which came through just fine... Socially, so far I haven't had trouble, but this is all new...
orpanedhawk, I love your attitude!