A few months ago, I dumped my ex-boyfriend who was a manipulator, liar, and abuser. I found out after the fact that he cheated on me, but I was never sure who with or how many partners. I understand that determining who gave you an STD is insignificant. But since we broke up, I've had a couple sexual encounters, but used protection both times. In any case, I noticed a bump on my penis about two weeks ago. It appeared about midway up the shaft on the front of the penis. I have somewhat pronounced fordyce spots on the lower part of my penis, and I'd recently shaved the shaft of my penis, so I figured it was probably just an ingrown hair. I ignored it for awhile, but then one night I noticed that it was still there and became concerned. I picked at it and stupidly attempted to pop it with a needle.
The spot does not appear to be blister-like...just a sort of whitish bump underneath the skin. It doesn't hurt, it hasn't burst on its own, it doesn't itch. Last week, I did feel somewhat sick, but I wasn't tired or achey...just had sinus drainage and a mild sore throat.
Recently, I discovered a similar looking bump on the other side of my penis shaft. Both appear somewhat pimple-like, not warty, and not much like a blister. The first bump is slightly red because I picked at it with the needle, but over all, they're both pink at worst.
I finally decided that I had to have some peace of mind so, yesterday, I went to the school doctor. I am a 26 y/o grad student. I have been there a few times (as I'm very paranoid about STDS), but the doctor that saw me this time was new and unfamiliar to me. She was very brief and non-compassionate as she said..."Oh well, they look like the could possibly be herpes. We'll have to do a test." So, she set me up with a barrage of STD tests...most of which I'd already had in the past 4 months, but I appreciated her thoroughness. Still, she asked the nurse to set me up for an HPV test, which has me second-guessing her knowledge of STDs considering that HPV exams for men consist only of visual inspection, and biopsies are rarely done as men are assumed to have HPV regardless.
2 years ago, I was diagnosed with internal, anal dysplasia. I have come a very long way in terms of coping with my HPV diagnosis. However, the prospect of having both HPV and HSV seems absolutely horrifying and devastating to me. I just don't know if I could handle that shock.
I should have my results by the end of the week, but I cannot think about anything else. I have obsessively researched herpes and the info only worries me more. While my bumps don't fit the typical description, others say that herpes lesions often do not. Can anyone offer me any words of wisdom? Do you think it's really herpes or am I just being a hypochondriac because my HPV diagnosis somewhat traumatized me. For a very long time, I was unable to think about sex without thinking about HPV. Two years later, I sort of laugh at how dramatic I was. But.........I really don't want to go through a psychological trauma like that again.
In fact, a scare like this makes me wish I had never lost my virginity. :-(