Aa
BV and possible Herpes? (Females especially, please)
Female 40s. Had an unfortunate and not wholy consensual sexual encounter with a person who works with some coworkers on an overseas work trip. The person knows I'm married and is much younger and knows I have a lot to lose. I don't remember the event at all. I am very upset and for personal reasons I'm not prepared to make and wasn't at the time to lodge a criminal complaint at the time nor will I into the future. I have very good reasons for making this decision. I have not told a single soul this until today at the women's health centre.
Symptoms 16 days post event, most of the symptoms have been ongoing for the last week or so:
-flu like symptoms, mild fever, sore throat, headache (but this has been going around anyway-and considering the circumstances of the event which involved possibly being drugged my system is very compromised)
-watery discharge - not nice odor but not as bad as I've heard it can be for some others
-itchiness, but intermittent
-pain and swelling in vulva (still remains)
Today, the staff were very kind. They did a visual exam and inserted a speculum which was extremely painful as I think there had been some tearing. There was no chance of pregnancy due to an earlier TAH. She took swabs. I cried the whole time.
Then she remarked on a single flat red mark, which was sore, but was more of an abrasion than what she thought was herpes 2. She did a swab of it. There was no blood test taken. She prescribed Flagyl for 7 days 1 pill 2x a day for the diagnosed Bacterial Vaginosis (which is her suspicion, but the swabs take 2 weeks to come back).
As she told me the side effects of the BV can include watery discharge, pain, swelling, odor so to be on the safe side she gave me the antibiotic to start.
She said the flat red area did not look typical for herpes 2 but what I'm reading here is that there is no typical presentation of it. I have only one of these and it's on my inside thigh, near the fold on one side, on the outside of the vulva. It hurts to touch it. It might be a place I had a mole removed some years ago but the entire area is so irritated and sore and I'm in such an upset state of mind I can't think straight.
Please do not judge my decision not to report this possible sexual assault as I was in a country that doesn't have a fair judicial system and my personal relationship and family life would be destroyed if this is made public. Also, I genuinely don't recall anything that happened. I just want the whole event to be over as soon as possible.
So, that's the situation. Appreciation in advance for any advice re flat, red irritated areas 16 days post possible exposure.
Thank you.
Symptoms 16 days post event, most of the symptoms have been ongoing for the last week or so:
-flu like symptoms, mild fever, sore throat, headache (but this has been going around anyway-and considering the circumstances of the event which involved possibly being drugged my system is very compromised)
-watery discharge - not nice odor but not as bad as I've heard it can be for some others
-itchiness, but intermittent
-pain and swelling in vulva (still remains)
Today, the staff were very kind. They did a visual exam and inserted a speculum which was extremely painful as I think there had been some tearing. There was no chance of pregnancy due to an earlier TAH. She took swabs. I cried the whole time.
Then she remarked on a single flat red mark, which was sore, but was more of an abrasion than what she thought was herpes 2. She did a swab of it. There was no blood test taken. She prescribed Flagyl for 7 days 1 pill 2x a day for the diagnosed Bacterial Vaginosis (which is her suspicion, but the swabs take 2 weeks to come back).
As she told me the side effects of the BV can include watery discharge, pain, swelling, odor so to be on the safe side she gave me the antibiotic to start.
She said the flat red area did not look typical for herpes 2 but what I'm reading here is that there is no typical presentation of it. I have only one of these and it's on my inside thigh, near the fold on one side, on the outside of the vulva. It hurts to touch it. It might be a place I had a mole removed some years ago but the entire area is so irritated and sore and I'm in such an upset state of mind I can't think straight.
Please do not judge my decision not to report this possible sexual assault as I was in a country that doesn't have a fair judicial system and my personal relationship and family life would be destroyed if this is made public. Also, I genuinely don't recall anything that happened. I just want the whole event to be over as soon as possible.
So, that's the situation. Appreciation in advance for any advice re flat, red irritated areas 16 days post possible exposure.
Thank you.
Yes! Persistence pays off! Unfortunate that they don’t do blood testing but seeing a specialist, someone who has seen and (believe me) heard it all, can hopefully give you not only some answers but direction on where to go from here! I know it’s nerve-wracking but just one day to wait! Line up all your questions and bring anything you are taking with you, so he knows everything. And don’t hold back! Tell everything you remember. And he did the right thing by not commenting too much on the call. It will be easier for him to examine and then give you his thoughts. I am so happy you did the research and made that call! Please keep me posted. I know it’s going to go just fine!
27 Comments
Thanks so much, TooHip1973. Have a look at post 20 on this page...shocking they don't do the blood test here but they don't. https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055453912&page=2
It’s an absolute shame that they don’t! How are people supposed to know, moving forward in a relationship, if everything‘s fine? HSV is not the end of the world, we all know that, but to think that testing would not be available even if you wanted to pay for it yourself is ridiculous! I want to wish you the best of luck at your appointment tomorrow and I’ll be thinking about you. Since you’re in another country and in a different time zone, I look forward to your comments in the morning/afternoon-ish US time. Remain calm! You are taking charge and you should be proud of yourself for having the moxie to make that call and see this specialist! Fingers and toes are crossed some questions get answered!
This is the most awful thing.
How did the appointment go?
I've just arrived home after an exhausting day of travel, worry, travel and stress. Without a lot more info than I had before I went but here it goes, I'll try to give you as much info as I can remember.
So, first of all, I had a full screening including bloods and will have to go back again in a few months again for more blood work (and maybe swabs, I don't know or didn't ask) for a full picture for what he said is a baseline for possibly said is a blood test for G (this as you said maybe ?) but I think this is for the other STIs too? I really was again, so distraught and to be honest distressed it's all blending into one thing he told me...I was afraid this would happen because as I'm sure you can imagine in my personal home situation and what happened and trying to keep it together at home and the long journey (driving) in an unfamiliar city etc I was completely disoriented.
Because I had done a lot of reading, the seemingly innocuous questions he asked me (How often my partner and I have sex, etc) made more sense to me...
So the results are this as far as I can recall and as I'm only now able to gather my memories and recollections as I was on auto pilot driving the long journey home:
1. The antibio for BV I'm on since Monday evening seems to have cleared most of the BV because he said that was NOT evident and to keep taking it until the course is finished. That would also clear a few other STIs for which he's tested me in the swab/blood screening.
2. The overall look of my vagina wasn't as bad as he'd expected and if it was a full blown primary case of Genital HSV2 he'd expect more lesions (this is my word, I can't recall the word he used) and I'd be in a lot more pain and agony frankly. He was unable/unwilling to give a definitive diagnosis based on his visual observation. In the country where I live there is a 50/50 split of HSV1/HV2 in the Genital area. I read the flyer he prints up himself outside in the car after so I'd say given my state of mind I absorbed about 15% of it. But he thinks given his best guess and the presentations of the 3 lesions he saw--he cut one of them he took the sample of and that's not hte same one the clinic in my own city observed (he said I can ring tomorrow a week for results--ie one week from tomorrow) I was previously exposed to HSV1 either orally or this is NOT a first outbreak vaginally (I'll discuss this again further down on another point). He was not prepared to say anymore until he gets the results from the lab on Thursday next. He sent it for the more advanced testing ...I wish I could recall what he said, was it microbial? I don't recall but whatever it was, it would indicate if I've had it before or give more details.
3. I have to come back for further testing in 6-10 weeks (I presume this is HIV etc) to rule the other things out.
4. Back to point 2, this lesion at the entrance to my vagina, he thinks this is a repeat growth/lesion/whatever which I'd always assumed was something that I'd had after a perineal repair after a bad episiotomy and hystertomy and caused painful intercourse. It's literally right at the entrance of my vagina at the bottom where the top of the perienum is. It's very often hurt A LOT and in this episode, it's the MOST PAINFUL of all the areas and burns like crazy when urinating. He didn't even notice the spot the doctor in my own city remarked upon, despite the fact that this spot has now changed from a round under the skins surface bump to more of an open sore---it wasn't the one he chose to swab first. The one he said was of most concern was the one I said that was at the entrance which is definitely one that has burned a lot and I've definitely had pain there during/after sex before. This makes him think I've had this already. Since this is the first time i've ever had sex outside my current relationship (decades long) this means as he thinks I've had HSV1 for a long time and since childhood and just tolerated the pain of it.
5. He took some other samples which he put onto slides at the time and looked at them under the microscope and didn't say anything else about anything else (other STIs) at all except H.
6. Regarding the incident --he encouraged me to wait to report to the person even if it might not be them to gave me this to tell them as it's the responsible thing to do...which is really galling as considering what's happened to me...I can't really even talk about this at all.
7. He also swabbed my throat and anus. Oh, god. I've never had oral herpes sores.
8. Regarding my current partner, he suggests saying nothing at all YET as I'm still on the antibiotics for BV and have vaginosis so wouldn't have sex now anyway and my partner is ok with this. This is a whole other topic and very personal and I really don't wish to discuss all this in this forum but he will counsel me about how to handle this if/when I am given the diagnosis of H or other STIs on Thursday or in 6/10 weeks time. In the meantime, we have not and won't have any casual or sexual contact that could pass any disease.
I'm sure I'm missing something as I'm still traumatised to be honest. I haven't even gotten to the stage of dealing with what happened yet. I'm still in panic mode. I actually thought I was going to have a stroke today as my whole head and chest went red and hot suddenly. I see this is a side effect of the very strong antibiotic I'm taking for BV also.
The doctor was very understanding and kind but I think he sees people in way worse situations and I'm sure he's heard every story there is and at the end of the day, in many cases a lot of the people he might think do this to themselves...I saw a lot of middle aged men there who obviously can afford to pay to see him privately in this very upscale area and it was really eye opening to think he might think this is somehting I do every month ... I do think he was compassionate about my situation, etc. Forgiving myself for putting myself in a situation like this (drinking but I swear, no more than a normal person) moving on will be the next stage, maybe??
So, first of all, I had a full screening including bloods and will have to go back again in a few months again for more blood work (and maybe swabs, I don't know or didn't ask) for a full picture for what he said is a baseline for possibly said is a blood test for G (this as you said maybe ?) but I think this is for the other STIs too? I really was again, so distraught and to be honest distressed it's all blending into one thing he told me...I was afraid this would happen because as I'm sure you can imagine in my personal home situation and what happened and trying to keep it together at home and the long journey (driving) in an unfamiliar city etc I was completely disoriented.
Because I had done a lot of reading, the seemingly innocuous questions he asked me (How often my partner and I have sex, etc) made more sense to me...
So the results are this as far as I can recall and as I'm only now able to gather my memories and recollections as I was on auto pilot driving the long journey home:
1. The antibio for BV I'm on since Monday evening seems to have cleared most of the BV because he said that was NOT evident and to keep taking it until the course is finished. That would also clear a few other STIs for which he's tested me in the swab/blood screening.
2. The overall look of my vagina wasn't as bad as he'd expected and if it was a full blown primary case of Genital HSV2 he'd expect more lesions (this is my word, I can't recall the word he used) and I'd be in a lot more pain and agony frankly. He was unable/unwilling to give a definitive diagnosis based on his visual observation. In the country where I live there is a 50/50 split of HSV1/HV2 in the Genital area. I read the flyer he prints up himself outside in the car after so I'd say given my state of mind I absorbed about 15% of it. But he thinks given his best guess and the presentations of the 3 lesions he saw--he cut one of them he took the sample of and that's not hte same one the clinic in my own city observed (he said I can ring tomorrow a week for results--ie one week from tomorrow) I was previously exposed to HSV1 either orally or this is NOT a first outbreak vaginally (I'll discuss this again further down on another point). He was not prepared to say anymore until he gets the results from the lab on Thursday next. He sent it for the more advanced testing ...I wish I could recall what he said, was it microbial? I don't recall but whatever it was, it would indicate if I've had it before or give more details.
3. I have to come back for further testing in 6-10 weeks (I presume this is HIV etc) to rule the other things out.
4. Back to point 2, this lesion at the entrance to my vagina, he thinks this is a repeat growth/lesion/whatever which I'd always assumed was something that I'd had after a perineal repair after a bad episiotomy and hystertomy and caused painful intercourse. It's literally right at the entrance of my vagina at the bottom where the top of the perienum is. It's very often hurt A LOT and in this episode, it's the MOST PAINFUL of all the areas and burns like crazy when urinating. He didn't even notice the spot the doctor in my own city remarked upon, despite the fact that this spot has now changed from a round under the skins surface bump to more of an open sore---it wasn't the one he chose to swab first. The one he said was of most concern was the one I said that was at the entrance which is definitely one that has burned a lot and I've definitely had pain there during/after sex before. This makes him think I've had this already. Since this is the first time i've ever had sex outside my current relationship (decades long) this means as he thinks I've had HSV1 for a long time and since childhood and just tolerated the pain of it.
5. He took some other samples which he put onto slides at the time and looked at them under the microscope and didn't say anything else about anything else (other STIs) at all except H.
6. Regarding the incident --he encouraged me to wait to report to the person even if it might not be them to gave me this to tell them as it's the responsible thing to do...which is really galling as considering what's happened to me...I can't really even talk about this at all.
7. He also swabbed my throat and anus. Oh, god. I've never had oral herpes sores.
8. Regarding my current partner, he suggests saying nothing at all YET as I'm still on the antibiotics for BV and have vaginosis so wouldn't have sex now anyway and my partner is ok with this. This is a whole other topic and very personal and I really don't wish to discuss all this in this forum but he will counsel me about how to handle this if/when I am given the diagnosis of H or other STIs on Thursday or in 6/10 weeks time. In the meantime, we have not and won't have any casual or sexual contact that could pass any disease.
I'm sure I'm missing something as I'm still traumatised to be honest. I haven't even gotten to the stage of dealing with what happened yet. I'm still in panic mode. I actually thought I was going to have a stroke today as my whole head and chest went red and hot suddenly. I see this is a side effect of the very strong antibiotic I'm taking for BV also.
The doctor was very understanding and kind but I think he sees people in way worse situations and I'm sure he's heard every story there is and at the end of the day, in many cases a lot of the people he might think do this to themselves...I saw a lot of middle aged men there who obviously can afford to pay to see him privately in this very upscale area and it was really eye opening to think he might think this is somehting I do every month ... I do think he was compassionate about my situation, etc. Forgiving myself for putting myself in a situation like this (drinking but I swear, no more than a normal person) moving on will be the next stage, maybe??
For a stressed and worried as you were, you remembered a hell of a lot. Good for you! Of course it’s going to be a waiting game. Unfortunately a lot of these blood tests take a little bit of time but a week is nothing. It’ll flyby… I know it doesn’t seem like it but before you know it it’ll be next Thursday and you’ll be able to have some initial results. Sounds like he’s testing you for all the big ones as a baseline, gonorrhea and chlamydia and syphilis and probably HIV. Good get those out-of-the-way. It’s soa good baseline , Like you said, with the anabiotic‘s are taking it would clear some of those up. I’m glad he took swabs also and it’s very encouraging that it wasn’t what he was expecting. Obviously won’t know more until the swabs come back but if you had a recurring issue with pain after socks because of the episiotomy, the spot getting irritated again with bacterial vaginosis wouldn’t seem like a tall order. Please forgive any spelling mistakes, I am using my phone‘s microphone to dictate.
It also sounds like his swab testing is far more advance than your local doctor. Which is very very nice because they are supersensitive. It sounds almost like he did a PCR, especially if you’ll have results within a week. PCR’s can pick up a minute amounts of the virus DNA, So it will good to get those results to know where you stand.
It also sounds like his swab testing is far more advance than your local doctor. Which is very very nice because they are supersensitive. It sounds almost like he did a PCR, especially if you’ll have results within a week. PCR’s can pick up a minute amounts of the virus DNA, So it will good to get those results to know where you stand.
Sounds like what he was looking for under the slides was yeast and white blood cells. It’s my understanding that elevated white blood cells, while some people just have elevated white blood cells already, can signify some type of infection. Since he didn’t see anything that’s a really good thing. Sounds like the anabiotic‘s are working well. Be sure to take the full course.
Right now, gather all your strength and focus on you. I know it’s really hard since there are so manyunanswered questions, and your longtime partner, but right now just contin taking your anabiotic’s and take some deep breath‘s. I know how stressful this says and really, even though I don’t know you at all, I wish I was there to give you a big hug and tell you everything‘s gonna be OK kid! The unknown is so scary. But remember, you are being your own best advocate . This is step one, well really this is step to since you already saw a doctor before, but this is a really good place to move forward from. You got in with the best of the best and he’ll figure it out. What happens down the road, with the coworker or anyone else, doesn’t matter. Right now none of that matters. What matters is that you’re taking control . I think everything sounds encouraging. That might sound really strange but what I mean is you’ve got someone on your side, and expert, who is going to cross every T and dot every I. Deep breaths, every day. You’ll get through this and have answers. I know you will!!
Right now, gather all your strength and focus on you. I know it’s really hard since there are so manyunanswered questions, and your longtime partner, but right now just contin taking your anabiotic’s and take some deep breath‘s. I know how stressful this says and really, even though I don’t know you at all, I wish I was there to give you a big hug and tell you everything‘s gonna be OK kid! The unknown is so scary. But remember, you are being your own best advocate . This is step one, well really this is step to since you already saw a doctor before, but this is a really good place to move forward from. You got in with the best of the best and he’ll figure it out. What happens down the road, with the coworker or anyone else, doesn’t matter. Right now none of that matters. What matters is that you’re taking control . I think everything sounds encouraging. That might sound really strange but what I mean is you’ve got someone on your side, and expert, who is going to cross every T and dot every I. Deep breaths, every day. You’ll get through this and have answers. I know you will!!
thanks so much! You answers are so soothing for me and so comforting for me. I really can't ever explain to you what your responses mean to me from afar. Since, as I told you, there is no one for me to talk to about this your support here is so much more meaningful. I read and reread all your messages over and over many times to make sure I understand fully.
I slept very fitfully .... this is still so upsetting and the doctor...who wasn't the most emotional guy was saying, 'No one has a life limiting illness, no one is going to die, no one is paralysed.' etc which I understand completely.
I think you're correct that the doctor did the more accurate PCR testing because he took out a highlighter and highlighted that part of the testing instructions and this was something that I understood as not routine. Like you said, the other swab test the other clinic did will come back in 2 weeks and this one he did yesterday will only take a week. I'm not sure if that's a fast tracked system (private vs using the public labs) or because of a different type of test.
I'm just completely and utterly wiped out. I know there is not much more you can say to support me now and you've given so much time and effort to me. i hope you don't mind if I type now. It is my only outlet and you don't need to answer.
Do you mind if I ask you some specific questions about symptoms now?
1. The itching: I am pretty sure now this is something I've had previously in some ways and then I convince myself that no, why would this now happen after this horrible event nearly 2 weeks ago after being in a monogamous relationship for nearly 20 years? I have a lot of itching on my anus but I have had hemmaroids since both my kids were born. I have had banding and internal surgery and they will never go away since I've had a lot of problems with prolapse (reason for my TAH). Does this itching from GH happen only on the sites of the sores or does it happen all over?
2. Soreness and swelling: Is this normal? I presume that whatever was done to me was by its nature rough as I don't recall being active in it. (This is horrific) I would always be sore after intercourse anyway but never for this long. The doctor didn't remark on swelling however, I still feel sore and swollen now (12 days post exposure).
3. Burning with urination: This is still happening and definitely will be happening now that from what I can gather the doctor made a small incision yesterday at the sore at my opening because the swab he took was only blood. So it is a completely raw open wound that I am urinating over.
4. How long is a usual episode? When/how does it resolve because I'm not noticing a reduction in pain, itching and the only thing that has reduced is the watery discharge but that might be the BV which has reduced due to the antibiiotic.
Scenario A: I got it from the incident on March 17: If this is my first outbreak and I got it from unprotected contact with an infected person (either type 1 or 2)...how long will this last? So, the incident happened on Sat March 17. I first noticed I was run down, flu like symptoms on the Tuesday 20th and was having full flu symptoms on the 21st. I know this because I didn't go into work. How long do first episodes usually last?
Scenario B: I have had this all along (which I'm still surprised at but...) and the flu like symptoms are just a coincidence and this is my first outbreak that I've remarked upon. In this scenario, the painful point at my entrance was always very sore during/after sex and this means that my regular partner (we don't use condoms because we are in a monogamous relationship and I've had a TAH and am beyond child bearing years) has been exposed for many years. In this scenario, could the horrible incident have kicked in an up until now dormant case of GH? (BTW, I don't expect you to know/answer all these questions, these are just the ones running around in my head that I should've asked yesterday but I was mostly crying the whole time).
I'm still not okay today and my partner is being very loving which is making me feel even more horrible. He can tell something is not right with me but I'm taking the doctor's advice and not telling him anything until I've had some results next week. My partner is very technical and will want hard facts and won't be happy with general advice from a website. This will not be an easy conversation. On the other hand, the issue of the events of March 17 could also change our lives together and the lives of our children. The doctor said that in his experience there are things a partner doesn't need to know (not the STI side of things but in terms of the incident) in cases such as mine --I can't say too much more without identifying the situation more and making myself identifiable. His experience of 40 years is that once the sexual health of both people is ensured, a once off incident in a long term relationship (like mine) being exposed does no good for either side.
This is by far the worst thing I've ever gone through in my life and i've not had an easy life.
I slept very fitfully .... this is still so upsetting and the doctor...who wasn't the most emotional guy was saying, 'No one has a life limiting illness, no one is going to die, no one is paralysed.' etc which I understand completely.
I think you're correct that the doctor did the more accurate PCR testing because he took out a highlighter and highlighted that part of the testing instructions and this was something that I understood as not routine. Like you said, the other swab test the other clinic did will come back in 2 weeks and this one he did yesterday will only take a week. I'm not sure if that's a fast tracked system (private vs using the public labs) or because of a different type of test.
I'm just completely and utterly wiped out. I know there is not much more you can say to support me now and you've given so much time and effort to me. i hope you don't mind if I type now. It is my only outlet and you don't need to answer.
Do you mind if I ask you some specific questions about symptoms now?
1. The itching: I am pretty sure now this is something I've had previously in some ways and then I convince myself that no, why would this now happen after this horrible event nearly 2 weeks ago after being in a monogamous relationship for nearly 20 years? I have a lot of itching on my anus but I have had hemmaroids since both my kids were born. I have had banding and internal surgery and they will never go away since I've had a lot of problems with prolapse (reason for my TAH). Does this itching from GH happen only on the sites of the sores or does it happen all over?
2. Soreness and swelling: Is this normal? I presume that whatever was done to me was by its nature rough as I don't recall being active in it. (This is horrific) I would always be sore after intercourse anyway but never for this long. The doctor didn't remark on swelling however, I still feel sore and swollen now (12 days post exposure).
3. Burning with urination: This is still happening and definitely will be happening now that from what I can gather the doctor made a small incision yesterday at the sore at my opening because the swab he took was only blood. So it is a completely raw open wound that I am urinating over.
4. How long is a usual episode? When/how does it resolve because I'm not noticing a reduction in pain, itching and the only thing that has reduced is the watery discharge but that might be the BV which has reduced due to the antibiiotic.
Scenario A: I got it from the incident on March 17: If this is my first outbreak and I got it from unprotected contact with an infected person (either type 1 or 2)...how long will this last? So, the incident happened on Sat March 17. I first noticed I was run down, flu like symptoms on the Tuesday 20th and was having full flu symptoms on the 21st. I know this because I didn't go into work. How long do first episodes usually last?
Scenario B: I have had this all along (which I'm still surprised at but...) and the flu like symptoms are just a coincidence and this is my first outbreak that I've remarked upon. In this scenario, the painful point at my entrance was always very sore during/after sex and this means that my regular partner (we don't use condoms because we are in a monogamous relationship and I've had a TAH and am beyond child bearing years) has been exposed for many years. In this scenario, could the horrible incident have kicked in an up until now dormant case of GH? (BTW, I don't expect you to know/answer all these questions, these are just the ones running around in my head that I should've asked yesterday but I was mostly crying the whole time).
I'm still not okay today and my partner is being very loving which is making me feel even more horrible. He can tell something is not right with me but I'm taking the doctor's advice and not telling him anything until I've had some results next week. My partner is very technical and will want hard facts and won't be happy with general advice from a website. This will not be an easy conversation. On the other hand, the issue of the events of March 17 could also change our lives together and the lives of our children. The doctor said that in his experience there are things a partner doesn't need to know (not the STI side of things but in terms of the incident) in cases such as mine --I can't say too much more without identifying the situation more and making myself identifiable. His experience of 40 years is that once the sexual health of both people is ensured, a once off incident in a long term relationship (like mine) being exposed does no good for either side.
This is by far the worst thing I've ever gone through in my life and i've not had an easy life.
I am going to probably answer/respond in multiple messages because I am using my phone and this website is tricky leaving messages via the phone.
First things first...you’re not alone! I know it feels that way when something traumatic occurs and you are lest with so many questions and so few answers. I’m here for you and I do encourage you to talk to a trusted friend about this, if you feel up for it. I understand if you don’t want to go that route yet it if you have a girlfriend you can count on, it may feel like a step toward healing to get it all out. I respect if you’re not ready for that but consider it.
I understand the worry and fitful sleep and panic. I’ve been there and at times, continue to go to that place. Once we are in a dark place, it’s hard to get out. A silver lining alludes us because all we can see is the worst case scenario. My doctor(s) said the same...this won’t kill you, it’s not cancer, etc...it brings a sense of temporary comfort but when left alone with our own thoughts, all we see is how it changed us and not how thankful we should be because “it could be worse”. It’s so easy for some to just let things go, to move on because it’s in the doctors hands or even move forward because they cannot change the past. I envy those people. The strong people who can put on their big girl panties and press forward. But then I have to remember, I am strong too. No, I can’t let go of regret so easy and move forward so confidently but I can move forward because I have to, I need to and one day, I’ll conquer these feelings and (hopefully) be better for it. This is strength, too. And this is what you need to remind yourself of. You are not the same person you were a few weeks ago. This has shaken you to the core but, on the other side, the person who will emerge will be okay. There will be a new sense of strength.
First things first...you’re not alone! I know it feels that way when something traumatic occurs and you are lest with so many questions and so few answers. I’m here for you and I do encourage you to talk to a trusted friend about this, if you feel up for it. I understand if you don’t want to go that route yet it if you have a girlfriend you can count on, it may feel like a step toward healing to get it all out. I respect if you’re not ready for that but consider it.
I understand the worry and fitful sleep and panic. I’ve been there and at times, continue to go to that place. Once we are in a dark place, it’s hard to get out. A silver lining alludes us because all we can see is the worst case scenario. My doctor(s) said the same...this won’t kill you, it’s not cancer, etc...it brings a sense of temporary comfort but when left alone with our own thoughts, all we see is how it changed us and not how thankful we should be because “it could be worse”. It’s so easy for some to just let things go, to move on because it’s in the doctors hands or even move forward because they cannot change the past. I envy those people. The strong people who can put on their big girl panties and press forward. But then I have to remember, I am strong too. No, I can’t let go of regret so easy and move forward so confidently but I can move forward because I have to, I need to and one day, I’ll conquer these feelings and (hopefully) be better for it. This is strength, too. And this is what you need to remind yourself of. You are not the same person you were a few weeks ago. This has shaken you to the core but, on the other side, the person who will emerge will be okay. There will be a new sense of strength.
As for the doc, I am sure he did a PCR swab and I definitely think he does use a private lab that is probably well suited to deal with a larger variety of tests. Igg testing may not be commercially available where you are but it’s a fairly straight forward lab test that would surprise me in the least if he has access to it.
Regarding the itching...from my understanding the itching would only occur at the site of where an outbreak is. Maybe some limited general itching but you have been on antibiotics and what feeds on those? Yeast. I would not be surprised in the least if the flagyl has increased the itching. A yeast infection can definitely hit the anus as well and if you have/had hemmroids in the past, this could cause them to flare.
Regarding the itching...from my understanding the itching would only occur at the site of where an outbreak is. Maybe some limited general itching but you have been on antibiotics and what feeds on those? Yeast. I would not be surprised in the least if the flagyl has increased the itching. A yeast infection can definitely hit the anus as well and if you have/had hemmroids in the past, this could cause them to flare.
With the soreness and swelling, if the doctor was thinking you looked like you had swelling, he would have said it. The skin is so sensitive and could be very inflamed from the BV and that makes it feel very swollen. Soreness yes, can be an hsv symptoms but a lot of things cause soreness. With a history of pain with sex, if you have BV, you will be sore and uncomfortable and unfortunately this has to run it’s source.
Of course everyone is different but the pain with urination can also be a symptom because of urine passing over sores. The acid in urine can burn like a ***** but remember, you’ve been poked and prodded down there and the skin is raw from swabs and exams, plus BV. The vagina is magically but it won’t heal overnight. Try pouring some lukewarm water over your vagina when you go to the bathroom. This should help with the burning and will help keep you clean. Don’t clean with any soaps down there and pat dry or use a hair dryer on a cool setting.
An initial hsv outbreak, also called a primary, usually lasts 2-3 weeks and sometimes up to 6 weeks everyone is different. I am not convinced, at all, that this is what this is.
Any of your scenarios are feasible. You could have had hsv previously and the BV or a rough encounter brought it to the surface. This person could’ve performed oral sex on you and passed bacteria, causing the BV or HSV1. It could be from sex. I know these are all things you don’t want to consider. It’s all disheartening but we just don’t have details fully of that night, so all we have now is what if’s.
Remind me again...how soon after this night did you start experiencing symptoms?
Of course everyone is different but the pain with urination can also be a symptom because of urine passing over sores. The acid in urine can burn like a ***** but remember, you’ve been poked and prodded down there and the skin is raw from swabs and exams, plus BV. The vagina is magically but it won’t heal overnight. Try pouring some lukewarm water over your vagina when you go to the bathroom. This should help with the burning and will help keep you clean. Don’t clean with any soaps down there and pat dry or use a hair dryer on a cool setting.
An initial hsv outbreak, also called a primary, usually lasts 2-3 weeks and sometimes up to 6 weeks everyone is different. I am not convinced, at all, that this is what this is.
Any of your scenarios are feasible. You could have had hsv previously and the BV or a rough encounter brought it to the surface. This person could’ve performed oral sex on you and passed bacteria, causing the BV or HSV1. It could be from sex. I know these are all things you don’t want to consider. It’s all disheartening but we just don’t have details fully of that night, so all we have now is what if’s.
Remind me again...how soon after this night did you start experiencing symptoms?
With the soreness and swelling, if the doctor was thinking you looked like you had swelling, he would have said it. The skin is so sensitive and could be very inflamed from the BV and that makes it feel very swollen. Soreness yes, can be an hsv symptoms but a lot of things cause soreness. With a history of pain with sex, if you have BV, you will be sore and uncomfortable and unfortunately this has to run it’s source.
Of course everyone is different but the pain with urination can also be a symptom because of urine passing over sores. The acid in urine can burn like a ***** but remember, you’ve been poked and prodded down there and the skin is raw from swabs and exams, plus BV. The vagina is magically but it won’t heal overnight. Try pouring some lukewarm water over your vagina when you go to the bathroom. This should help with the burning and will help keep you clean. Don’t clean with any soaps down there and pat dry or use a hair dryer on a cool setting.
An initial hsv outbreak, also called a primary, usually lasts 2-3 weeks and sometimes up to 6 weeks everyone is different. I am not convinced, at all, that this is what this is.
Any of your scenarios are feasible. You could have had hsv previously and the BV or a rough encounter brought it to the surface. This person could’ve performed oral sex on you and passed bacteria, causing the BV or HSV1. It could be from sex. I know these are all things you don’t want to consider. It’s all disheartening but we just don’t have details fully of that night, so all we have now is what if’s.
Remind me again...how soon after this night did you start experiencing symptoms?
Of course everyone is different but the pain with urination can also be a symptom because of urine passing over sores. The acid in urine can burn like a ***** but remember, you’ve been poked and prodded down there and the skin is raw from swabs and exams, plus BV. The vagina is magically but it won’t heal overnight. Try pouring some lukewarm water over your vagina when you go to the bathroom. This should help with the burning and will help keep you clean. Don’t clean with any soaps down there and pat dry or use a hair dryer on a cool setting.
An initial hsv outbreak, also called a primary, usually lasts 2-3 weeks and sometimes up to 6 weeks everyone is different. I am not convinced, at all, that this is what this is.
Any of your scenarios are feasible. You could have had hsv previously and the BV or a rough encounter brought it to the surface. This person could’ve performed oral sex on you and passed bacteria, causing the BV or HSV1. It could be from sex. I know these are all things you don’t want to consider. It’s all disheartening but we just don’t have details fully of that night, so all we have now is what if’s.
Remind me again...how soon after this night did you start experiencing symptoms?
Okay, I went through some of your past posts to double check the time line. This happened on the 17th and by the 21st had flu symptoms. What about the vaginal issues? One thing I wanted to add is herpetic discharge doesn’t have an odor. I’m sure it’s possible to buy an odor usually means bacteria. This is where the BV comes in.
I want to say that it’s okay that you’re not okay! Sounds weird huh? Who says that, right?! Well I do because it’s okay that you are still struggling. You’re human and you’re scared. Recognize that and then remind yourself that this feeling will pass and as answers come back, you’ll be able to work towards “okay”. And then beyond okay. I know it’s even more jarring with your partner being unaware, but this is about you right now. Once you have some initial answers, you can open up to him for support. That is coming sooner than you think. Less than a week.
I remember during my scare I just wanted someone to say “yep, herpes” so I could move forward and deal. Not that I wanted herpes but I hated not knowing more. The unknown is worse than any diagnosis because at least with a diagnosis, you can take steps to get better, be better. The unknown dark cloud is like being diagnosed everyday and starting from scratch all over again. With some answers, the healing will be able to begin and you’ll get closer and closer to “okay”.
And don’t hesitate to talk and ask! I’m not a doctor, not an expert but I’ve been where you are and it’s lonely. I can to this board and feelingundone, the board moderator (who has been taking care of some things so hasn’t been on lately), talked me down from the edge. We all need a lifeline and who cares if that lifeline is on the other side of the world. When you can relate, distance doesn’t matter.
I want to say that it’s okay that you’re not okay! Sounds weird huh? Who says that, right?! Well I do because it’s okay that you are still struggling. You’re human and you’re scared. Recognize that and then remind yourself that this feeling will pass and as answers come back, you’ll be able to work towards “okay”. And then beyond okay. I know it’s even more jarring with your partner being unaware, but this is about you right now. Once you have some initial answers, you can open up to him for support. That is coming sooner than you think. Less than a week.
I remember during my scare I just wanted someone to say “yep, herpes” so I could move forward and deal. Not that I wanted herpes but I hated not knowing more. The unknown is worse than any diagnosis because at least with a diagnosis, you can take steps to get better, be better. The unknown dark cloud is like being diagnosed everyday and starting from scratch all over again. With some answers, the healing will be able to begin and you’ll get closer and closer to “okay”.
And don’t hesitate to talk and ask! I’m not a doctor, not an expert but I’ve been where you are and it’s lonely. I can to this board and feelingundone, the board moderator (who has been taking care of some things so hasn’t been on lately), talked me down from the edge. We all need a lifeline and who cares if that lifeline is on the other side of the world. When you can relate, distance doesn’t matter.
You're amazing to answer so much. I've had a very busy day with family things so I'm just now (very late in the evening) having time to sit down and really properly read your responses on the laptop ... I'm still only absorbing parts of what I'm reading and it's all so shocking.
I'm just so ...disgusted. With myself. My body. My situation. All of it. I know logically none of this is my fault and I'm very open to sexuality (mine and others) in general and believe people should be allowed to do what they like with whomever they like...it's just that frankly, I don't think I can face that this was not a choice I made to do...and now I'm living with this life long consequence. And I know it could be worse (and I'm not saying now I know that I have GH 1/2 or both or any or all other STIs or nothing at all)...but this feels like right now such a nightmare.
I genuinely go through stages of forgetting about it (for a few minutes or hours at a time) to sheer panic at the thought of having to face this for real (both the GH for a lfietime and facing telling my partner about this--how/when etc. I don't know how he'll take it all.
I'm good now but I've not had the greatest mental health over the years and I've crawled my way back to good balanced mental health and this I'm afraid will knock me back to a low point. I have a reel of scenarios in my mind of how this could go--my 'go to' friends are off limits to talk to as I live in a small place in a small country and this is not something I want to tell anyone. Seeing and talking to my professional mental health provider might mean them having to report this and I am pretty sure this is not something I want to pursue legally...you will know what I mean if you've read the Irish news in the last 2 days. It's not a climate under which I want to go forward with any actions now or probably ever. I just find every way I turn the road is blocked and I cannot see what to do.
I know I just need to wait until next week but I'm 99.9% sure it's positive for AT LEAST GH 1 and poss 2 as well as I had a look today and there are more sores today (probably after the cutting yesterday, I feel this has caused them to spread, this may be my imagination or maybe this was always going to happen) .....there's no point in me continuing to post here other than me having one place to vent my absolute sheer terror.
I can completely see how people find themselves in irreconcilable situations where running away from a problem seems like the best solution. 7 more days and then I get an answer. But what will that do? Nothing really. I'll just know what I already know officially.
I'm just so ...disgusted. With myself. My body. My situation. All of it. I know logically none of this is my fault and I'm very open to sexuality (mine and others) in general and believe people should be allowed to do what they like with whomever they like...it's just that frankly, I don't think I can face that this was not a choice I made to do...and now I'm living with this life long consequence. And I know it could be worse (and I'm not saying now I know that I have GH 1/2 or both or any or all other STIs or nothing at all)...but this feels like right now such a nightmare.
I genuinely go through stages of forgetting about it (for a few minutes or hours at a time) to sheer panic at the thought of having to face this for real (both the GH for a lfietime and facing telling my partner about this--how/when etc. I don't know how he'll take it all.
I'm good now but I've not had the greatest mental health over the years and I've crawled my way back to good balanced mental health and this I'm afraid will knock me back to a low point. I have a reel of scenarios in my mind of how this could go--my 'go to' friends are off limits to talk to as I live in a small place in a small country and this is not something I want to tell anyone. Seeing and talking to my professional mental health provider might mean them having to report this and I am pretty sure this is not something I want to pursue legally...you will know what I mean if you've read the Irish news in the last 2 days. It's not a climate under which I want to go forward with any actions now or probably ever. I just find every way I turn the road is blocked and I cannot see what to do.
I know I just need to wait until next week but I'm 99.9% sure it's positive for AT LEAST GH 1 and poss 2 as well as I had a look today and there are more sores today (probably after the cutting yesterday, I feel this has caused them to spread, this may be my imagination or maybe this was always going to happen) .....there's no point in me continuing to post here other than me having one place to vent my absolute sheer terror.
I can completely see how people find themselves in irreconcilable situations where running away from a problem seems like the best solution. 7 more days and then I get an answer. But what will that do? Nothing really. I'll just know what I already know officially.
This happened on the 17th and by the 21st had flu symptoms. What about the vaginal issues?
Sorry, I forgot to answer this question:
I more or less noticed the usual soreness I'd have from sexual activity straight away. The BV symptoms (clear discharge) was from same time as flu symptoms ie straight away. The itchiness etc all of it...which caused me to go to the women's center in my town were all, in my head a UTI, a yeast infection or BV. In my wildest dreams I didn't suspect the current situation. Because of the circumstances abroad I didn't go to my GP.
I went to the first clinic, in my town on the Monday 26th.
Went to the doctor in the capital on the Wednesday 28th. (This is for me for later reference).
I'm currently weighing up my options of what to do. Not looking great.
Sorry, I forgot to answer this question:
I more or less noticed the usual soreness I'd have from sexual activity straight away. The BV symptoms (clear discharge) was from same time as flu symptoms ie straight away. The itchiness etc all of it...which caused me to go to the women's center in my town were all, in my head a UTI, a yeast infection or BV. In my wildest dreams I didn't suspect the current situation. Because of the circumstances abroad I didn't go to my GP.
I went to the first clinic, in my town on the Monday 26th.
Went to the doctor in the capital on the Wednesday 28th. (This is for me for later reference).
I'm currently weighing up my options of what to do. Not looking great.
Believe me I understand what you’re feeling. I’ve been in that same position. Everything has been absolute panic, you just want answers. We look back and think, will never be in this position. We’re smart. We make smart decisions. But when things happen that are beyond our control, and this was not something that you had control of, the end result can be terrifying. We don’t know exactly what you’re dealing with yet. I know that it’s very hard to not picture the worst case scenario. We build this catastrophe in our minds and once it’s there, it’s not going anywhere. Unfortunately right now it comes down to patients. The fact that you had source swabbed, yes that could be HSP, but it could also be a result of other things as well. And if it is HSV? What then? You press forward. You will be exactly the same person you were. Who you are doesn’t change. But let’s wait, let’s worry about that if it comes to pass. Right now take care of you. Try and focus on other things. Keep yourself busy. I know what it’s like because I too would go through times where it wasn’t on my mind or didn’t have me in a panic, and with the blink of an eye, it would all come back to me. I was so afraid of how things would change shape of my life, that I didn’t want to look into the future. I wanted to dwell in my own misery with in that moment. You are getting the best care possible… You are seeing the specialist that you need to see. He’ll figure out what’s going on and then from there you’ll move forward. I want you to know that you’re not alone. And what you’re feeling, it will pass. I know you can’t see that right now because you’re in the thick of it but believe me it does. You’re not alone and going through a lot of ups and downs with your mental health, been there. And this will only take you back to a dark place if you like that. Don’t let it take hold of you like that. You deserve more than that. Let’s wait, be patient, see what happens come Thursday. See what more you can find out. I know it’s hard but try not to go online and research. I still do it, it’s hard. It’s like we feel we can diagnose ourselves. But doing that leads to more questions than answers. And that’s no way to lead our life. I’m thinking about you. AndDon’t worry about posting. Post away. If it makes you feel better to just get things out anonymously, then do it. When you don’t feel you have anyone to talk to you, you’ll talk to anyone if the lesson. It’s very good for you to do that, very healthy for you to get the feelings out. Keep it up if it keeps you strong. I know it’s hard to believe this but everything will be OK. Tell yourself that every day it’s gonna be OK.
I can't tell you how much I value your words. I read every one of them, even if it seems to you like you're repeating yourself and I'm only focusing on the negative.
Today, I walked with my husband for a nice lunch. For two hours I lost myself. Then I called to a friend for chats and tea. We chatted for hours about all the things we'd normally chat about.
Then on the walk home it hit me again.
Why can't this just be a bad bad nightmare? It's not even just the HSV, really. it's the whole incident that I am currrently blocking out of my memory--I have no memory of it to block actually.
I'm trying to stay away from the internet about this topic for the rest of the evening. 6 more nights of fitful sleeps until I have more information. I have booked myself for a double appointment with my regular GP in my own town for the same afternoon of the morning I will get the results. I'm not sure what I will tell the GP but it may be to look after my health--mental and physical. I really don't want to have to even talk about it with her.
The secretary in the GP office is best friends with one of my good friends/neighbours. She is someone who has a big mouth. She transcribes all the GPs notes; it's a paperless office so I also can presume she somehow scans all the test results into the system? I don't know that this is true and you might say, 'Well this is odd. There must be so many papers going through that office she'd hardly have time to notice yours. This is a small place I live and I have a really recognisable name that is very unusual in a place where people have really common names and she knows me and knows that I am friends/neighbours with her friend.
This is just how very very small where I live is. I know...I know...there is medical professionalism and there is so much the person would have to lose by divulging my dirty secret but still...this is the reality of my life. Something that happened in those short hours has caused me to fear even seeking medical help. I can ask the GP to write nothing down? I don't know. This is the reason I went to a place that was not my GP in the first place (the first place in my town where I sought medical help where they did a incomplete job and did not give me a full battery of tests and did not give me a blood test).
TooHip1973, at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, you're saving a life whereever you are. I want you to know that. Thank you. Thank you so much for answering me every time with your support, kind words, compassion and acceptance.
This is not easy and would be impossible without you.
Today, I walked with my husband for a nice lunch. For two hours I lost myself. Then I called to a friend for chats and tea. We chatted for hours about all the things we'd normally chat about.
Then on the walk home it hit me again.
Why can't this just be a bad bad nightmare? It's not even just the HSV, really. it's the whole incident that I am currrently blocking out of my memory--I have no memory of it to block actually.
I'm trying to stay away from the internet about this topic for the rest of the evening. 6 more nights of fitful sleeps until I have more information. I have booked myself for a double appointment with my regular GP in my own town for the same afternoon of the morning I will get the results. I'm not sure what I will tell the GP but it may be to look after my health--mental and physical. I really don't want to have to even talk about it with her.
The secretary in the GP office is best friends with one of my good friends/neighbours. She is someone who has a big mouth. She transcribes all the GPs notes; it's a paperless office so I also can presume she somehow scans all the test results into the system? I don't know that this is true and you might say, 'Well this is odd. There must be so many papers going through that office she'd hardly have time to notice yours. This is a small place I live and I have a really recognisable name that is very unusual in a place where people have really common names and she knows me and knows that I am friends/neighbours with her friend.
This is just how very very small where I live is. I know...I know...there is medical professionalism and there is so much the person would have to lose by divulging my dirty secret but still...this is the reality of my life. Something that happened in those short hours has caused me to fear even seeking medical help. I can ask the GP to write nothing down? I don't know. This is the reason I went to a place that was not my GP in the first place (the first place in my town where I sought medical help where they did a incomplete job and did not give me a full battery of tests and did not give me a blood test).
TooHip1973, at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, you're saving a life whereever you are. I want you to know that. Thank you. Thank you so much for answering me every time with your support, kind words, compassion and acceptance.
This is not easy and would be impossible without you.
Sorry, I meant to say my friend/neighbour is someone who has a big mouth--I am not sure about the GP secretary.
Sorry I haven’t replied until now. It was a busy couple of days leading u to the holiday but I haven’t forgotten about you!
I understand it all feeling like a bad dream. Wishing we could turn back the clock knowing what we know now. It has to be even more difficult and emotionally taxing with the window of time you have where things are so unclear. At this point, as hard as it is, you will have to find a way to let go of the unknown and focus on the here and now and the future. This won’t happen overnight, there isn’t a timeline for making peace with the question, but it will come. Focus on the good, the blessings and, yes, have patience. There is that ****** word again - patience. But right now, it’s all we have. Not too much longer before some answers start to filter in. And then, with hope, you can begin to move forward with some confidence that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself.
I understand about not wanting to share with your GP. It’s a small town and I understand that! I used to live in a very small town myself, where everyone knew everything. For right now, you don’t have to say anything. And in the future, depending on how things go when you can make that decision. I understand the fear of people finding out. Especially the people you don’t want to know. Those people with big mouth who like to gossip. Of course there are laws to protect you, this woman could lose her job if she shared any of her medical information, but I understand sometimes even that isn’t a big enough deterrent.
Just hang tight that it’s obly a few more days for some answers. How are you feeling physically? Are things starting to clear up at all? Did the specialist prescribe you any antivirals or anything like that? If he suspected herpes, I would think he would’ve written a script for that. It would seem odd to see you as a patient do an exam and take samples and not give you a prescription. I understand that some doctors don’t want to do that until they have a diagnosis but here in the states, doctors diagnosed by visual a lot of the time. They feel they don’t even need to test to know so they just throw prescriptions of people. That’s very foolish because how can you treat something that you don’t know… But that’s the state Of medicine here in the US. Give meds, give meds, give meds. It just seems so irresponsible. Even though I know things are very very tough right now, and you’re not feeling yourself, I hope that you’re able to take these next couple of days and relax a little bit. Enjoy your husband, take care of yourself physically and know the answers are coming. I’m there with you 100%. And reach out if you need to talk. I’ll try to respond as soon as I canBut because of the time difference obviously my response won’t be right away. I’m going to repeat myself, I know you know what I’m going to say, but you’re going to be OK. No matter what… You’re OK.
I understand it all feeling like a bad dream. Wishing we could turn back the clock knowing what we know now. It has to be even more difficult and emotionally taxing with the window of time you have where things are so unclear. At this point, as hard as it is, you will have to find a way to let go of the unknown and focus on the here and now and the future. This won’t happen overnight, there isn’t a timeline for making peace with the question, but it will come. Focus on the good, the blessings and, yes, have patience. There is that ****** word again - patience. But right now, it’s all we have. Not too much longer before some answers start to filter in. And then, with hope, you can begin to move forward with some confidence that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself.
I understand about not wanting to share with your GP. It’s a small town and I understand that! I used to live in a very small town myself, where everyone knew everything. For right now, you don’t have to say anything. And in the future, depending on how things go when you can make that decision. I understand the fear of people finding out. Especially the people you don’t want to know. Those people with big mouth who like to gossip. Of course there are laws to protect you, this woman could lose her job if she shared any of her medical information, but I understand sometimes even that isn’t a big enough deterrent.
Just hang tight that it’s obly a few more days for some answers. How are you feeling physically? Are things starting to clear up at all? Did the specialist prescribe you any antivirals or anything like that? If he suspected herpes, I would think he would’ve written a script for that. It would seem odd to see you as a patient do an exam and take samples and not give you a prescription. I understand that some doctors don’t want to do that until they have a diagnosis but here in the states, doctors diagnosed by visual a lot of the time. They feel they don’t even need to test to know so they just throw prescriptions of people. That’s very foolish because how can you treat something that you don’t know… But that’s the state Of medicine here in the US. Give meds, give meds, give meds. It just seems so irresponsible. Even though I know things are very very tough right now, and you’re not feeling yourself, I hope that you’re able to take these next couple of days and relax a little bit. Enjoy your husband, take care of yourself physically and know the answers are coming. I’m there with you 100%. And reach out if you need to talk. I’ll try to respond as soon as I canBut because of the time difference obviously my response won’t be right away. I’m going to repeat myself, I know you know what I’m going to say, but you’re going to be OK. No matter what… You’re OK.
You're a lifeline now.
I'll try to fill in some gaps...you're totally right...I'm trying to not read the internet...
here's the update re: symptoms
1. itching, ongoing but not constant if that makes sense, seems to come and go in spurts but have taken doctor in capital's advice and used epsom salt baths, maybe that's helping, I don't know. I've just passed the 14 days post event mark (if it is not a recurrance or dormant outbreak). This has woken me up at night.
2. a very very small amount of discharge, nothing abnormal
3. soreness, and fullness of vulva, they still feel pulsy in a kind of just had sex kind of way, almost like after you've had a child when you feel like stuff is hanging out of you?
4. urinary burning, only now it's internal, too like a UTI, but no other UTI symptoms
5. this is the symptom that is new: nerve pain and sharp pains in legs hips side and even down into feet at times...I had severe restless legs syndrome during my last pregnancy and I'm having it again, too along with this nerve thing...does this mean it's coming to an end...sometimes like an electrical wave (if you've had contrast for a CT scan, that hotness feeling spreading but in a much more painful and unpleasant way and it carries on)....uncomfortable to sit down on my front and back passage
6. I don't THINK I have many more newly forming lesions, but I'm trying not to look/touch because when I do, frnakly, I become HYSTERICAL and can't keep it together.
7. On the right side the groin lymph node is swollen and sore but that might be because I keep pressing it.
Regarding healthcare in general here, yes, they are FAR MORE conservative than in the states. For example, I don't know a single person who is addicted to doctor prescribed pain pills because they simply don't give medication here willy nilly as we have a two teired system of socialised medicine and a family cap of 100euros for prescriptions. After 100euros per month, the prescriptions are free above 100euros per family and the government pays the remainder so doctors arent' inclined to prescribe costly and unnecessary meds and they wouldn't do so without a gold seal fact based diagnosis. He said if I had presented in the correct time frame he could've given me something to prevent a full blown outbreak but I didn't. :(
I will definitely take whatever preventative or reactive meds are going for this. I can't do this again.
I still have 4 more days/nights to wait to ring him to find out the results but I am pretty sure this is a full blown ob.
I'll try to fill in some gaps...you're totally right...I'm trying to not read the internet...
here's the update re: symptoms
1. itching, ongoing but not constant if that makes sense, seems to come and go in spurts but have taken doctor in capital's advice and used epsom salt baths, maybe that's helping, I don't know. I've just passed the 14 days post event mark (if it is not a recurrance or dormant outbreak). This has woken me up at night.
2. a very very small amount of discharge, nothing abnormal
3. soreness, and fullness of vulva, they still feel pulsy in a kind of just had sex kind of way, almost like after you've had a child when you feel like stuff is hanging out of you?
4. urinary burning, only now it's internal, too like a UTI, but no other UTI symptoms
5. this is the symptom that is new: nerve pain and sharp pains in legs hips side and even down into feet at times...I had severe restless legs syndrome during my last pregnancy and I'm having it again, too along with this nerve thing...does this mean it's coming to an end...sometimes like an electrical wave (if you've had contrast for a CT scan, that hotness feeling spreading but in a much more painful and unpleasant way and it carries on)....uncomfortable to sit down on my front and back passage
6. I don't THINK I have many more newly forming lesions, but I'm trying not to look/touch because when I do, frnakly, I become HYSTERICAL and can't keep it together.
7. On the right side the groin lymph node is swollen and sore but that might be because I keep pressing it.
Regarding healthcare in general here, yes, they are FAR MORE conservative than in the states. For example, I don't know a single person who is addicted to doctor prescribed pain pills because they simply don't give medication here willy nilly as we have a two teired system of socialised medicine and a family cap of 100euros for prescriptions. After 100euros per month, the prescriptions are free above 100euros per family and the government pays the remainder so doctors arent' inclined to prescribe costly and unnecessary meds and they wouldn't do so without a gold seal fact based diagnosis. He said if I had presented in the correct time frame he could've given me something to prevent a full blown outbreak but I didn't. :(
I will definitely take whatever preventative or reactive meds are going for this. I can't do this again.
I still have 4 more days/nights to wait to ring him to find out the results but I am pretty sure this is a full blown ob.
It’s hard to say what any of the symptoms you are now experiencing really are. So many things can mimic herpes, like being hyper aware of what’s going on down below. Not saying what you’re feeling is psycho somatic what the mind is very powerful and when we are hyper focused on one area, it amplifies everything. You know how sometimes you’re feeling H on your arm or your leg and there’s nothing there to H? It’s the same type of concept. You feel itchy for no reason. You don’t hyper focus on it because you can chalk it up to nothing. Or an irritated spot. Or dry skin. I understand the symptoms that you’re saying. I’ve felt many of them. The soreness, the tingling, the itchiness. But I also know that my mind was so set on everything going on with my vagina, that I can’t think of anything else. You’re in the homestretch now… Thankfully! Hopefully you’ll get some answers. I know this is felt like months and months but I’m hoping that some clarity comes for you. How are you feeling? How are things down below? I’ve been thinking about you. I know I say it all the time but it’s true, no matter what happens you’ll move forward. Limbo is hell. It’s worse than any diagnosis because it’s just a giant question mark.
I hope you have found a way to relax and ease your mind a little. All the emotions you are feeling, I completely understand. Please know I’m in your corner. You are not alone and come Thursday, whatever it may bring, you can hopefully move forward.
I hope you have found a way to relax and ease your mind a little. All the emotions you are feeling, I completely understand. Please know I’m in your corner. You are not alone and come Thursday, whatever it may bring, you can hopefully move forward.
Forgive all the typos! I’m dictating into my phone and my phone has a mind of its own
Hi TooHip my only confidante. Well, I finally rang the doctor and got 5 days of Valtrex phoned in to the chemist. So I've had three doses and I can say there is a *slight* improvement in the symptoms. The doctor, when I rang about the prescription, said to ring today to get some preliminary (bloods only) results...so the only results he had were:
HIV negative
Syphillis negative
both great news of course
And the bloods for HSV (I am not sure 1 or 2) negative which means I've not been previously exposed prior to the blood test...that's the baseline you previously spoke of so I'll need to have another test later on.
This means this is not something I've had for years, right? I'm not being daft but I am just checking that this is the case. Because I'm thinking that one option is telling my partner I have this but not how I got it. Because I'm kind of thinking that telling him this will destroy and explode my life. I don't think he could ever move on from it ... not the H itself but the actual incident. It's not a thing I want to pursue as it would affect me personally and professionally in a lot of ways. Right now, no one knows about this and like I said, given the circumstances it's not something I want to pursue legally. Not in that country and these circumstances. But my point is, there'd be no way to say it was dormant in my system all these years if my baseline blood test was negative, right?
The said to ring back later in the evening to see if any further results were ready (i.e. the swab) and when I did, no, they weren't ready because it was a national holiday and the labs must be delayed now.
So, ...this is where things are at the moment. I wanted to ask him if/when/how to talk to my partner but he's again, a very pragmatic kind of guy who wont' discuss anything at all until he has hard and fast results in his hand (positive swab and what type)....so, we wait some more. This seems like it's been MONTHS AND MONTHS of waiting, even YEARS. Time seems to have slowed down in a way I cannot even describe.
I still have a double appointment with my own GP booked for Thursday to discuss things. I really don't know what I'll say to her ... depends entirely on the results I suppose.
I'm so stressed out.
HIV negative
Syphillis negative
both great news of course
And the bloods for HSV (I am not sure 1 or 2) negative which means I've not been previously exposed prior to the blood test...that's the baseline you previously spoke of so I'll need to have another test later on.
This means this is not something I've had for years, right? I'm not being daft but I am just checking that this is the case. Because I'm thinking that one option is telling my partner I have this but not how I got it. Because I'm kind of thinking that telling him this will destroy and explode my life. I don't think he could ever move on from it ... not the H itself but the actual incident. It's not a thing I want to pursue as it would affect me personally and professionally in a lot of ways. Right now, no one knows about this and like I said, given the circumstances it's not something I want to pursue legally. Not in that country and these circumstances. But my point is, there'd be no way to say it was dormant in my system all these years if my baseline blood test was negative, right?
The said to ring back later in the evening to see if any further results were ready (i.e. the swab) and when I did, no, they weren't ready because it was a national holiday and the labs must be delayed now.
So, ...this is where things are at the moment. I wanted to ask him if/when/how to talk to my partner but he's again, a very pragmatic kind of guy who wont' discuss anything at all until he has hard and fast results in his hand (positive swab and what type)....so, we wait some more. This seems like it's been MONTHS AND MONTHS of waiting, even YEARS. Time seems to have slowed down in a way I cannot even describe.
I still have a double appointment with my own GP booked for Thursday to discuss things. I really don't know what I'll say to her ... depends entirely on the results I suppose.
I'm so stressed out.
I know you’re stressed! I can feel the stress when I read your Messages. I understand and I’m here to support you. OK, so some results. That’s good. I’m glad you got to baseline test done but it’s really important to know what kind of HSV test was done. Do you know if it was an IgG test? Since it was a blood serology, I would assume that is the test or something comparable. One thing about blood testing for HSV that I have learned is that it’s not as good for HSV-1 as it is for HSV two. Recent studies have shown that IgG testing for HSV one can miss a significant amount of infections. Since it is so common and a lot of people have it, for whatever reason the test doesn’t recognize the antibodies as easily. This baseline test does say that you are negative for HSV two. That, with a great deal of confidence, up to 95% you can take to the bank. I would be really interested to know what type of test they did do. If you can find out, that would be great. So now we wait. Swab test results should be coming very soon. This will give some answers. Of course, if it returns negative, it doesn’t give us the full picture. I know you understand about the body building antibodies for detection. Swab results from an active sore or lesion, obviously are the best of the best. But they are also very time sensitive. If a sore were to be swabbed after it began heal, for example, it might not return accurate results. But since you’ve had a couple of swabs done, chances are if there is something there it will pick it up. Just hang tight, I know it’s hard. Once you have some direction and answers from the doctor, you can decide exactly how you wish to approach this with your partner. And once that decision is made and you are able to face it, I can guarantee you you will feel 1 million times better. Right now it’s a weight on your shoulders that has nowhere to go. Keep me posted… I’ll be checking in to see if you post. Don’t worry about asking questions or just venting. We all need it sometimes. It’s OK, like I said I got your back.
Just checking in to see how you are doing! I assume you received some results. Please let me know how things are going!
Thinking about you!
Thinking about you!
Sorry, TooHip1973, I was having some family issues (unrleated to this) and wasn't near the computer the whole week. I've been trying to answer on my phone but wasn't able to log in from my phone for some reason??
yes, I got the results from the specialist. HSV2 from the swab (and the blood test is negative, as I told you before).
This was a devastating blow. The doctor and I stayed on the phone for a long time talking about my feelings about this, how to move forward from it, what to do, etc.
So, I still have symptoms, despite being on 5 days of Valtrex (I just finished it on Friday-it's Saturday now). I don't think I"m getting any new sores but the ones that are there are still burning, not a lot of new itching but still itching, still having the nerve burning on vulva, clitoris, swelling, itching, zaping feelings in bum and legs. Told this all to the doctor who said that the outbreak will never be this bad as this first one. He will continue to see me and I have to go to him again for an appointment to talk about what to do. He usually recommends first to see how many outbreaks a person has before recommending suppressive therapy (ie daily Valtrex or other meds) so that's where he is with medication.
As far as telling my partner, on Monday (the day after tomorrow) is the day I have to meet the local doctor who only took a swab (no bloods--remember I said they don't routinely do bloods here at regular GUM clinics/GPs, etc) for the results. I think what I've decided to do is go to that appointment, get those results as a confirmation (though I'm sure this is what I have) and then share the results from just a swab with my partner. This can be perceived as something that I've had for years in a dormant state for years and only come out now in menopause as per this article, which is common enough: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/bluntmoms/sti-herpes-menopause_b_7343630.html
My partner will not need to know I had a blood test that says that I have no antibodies (ie I have not been exposed so this is a new exposure as tested by the swab of a sore) and I can present the case as seen in the Huff Po article. This is obviously not true and the guilt from lying to him is overwhelming, however, telling him the truth at this juncture of our lives would do serious damage to our relationship and would not change the outcome. In other words, I will still take the same precautions to protect both of our health statuses; I cannot do anything to address this criminally abroad; my partner would likely be unable to overcome his feelings of anger, disgust and rage if I tell him what actually happened and this could destroy a very good happy family. This would do no good to anyone--and only hurt me further. Even if he goes to get tested locally, they will only test him if he is symptomatic with a sore, which if we are careful, he won't be--as I will not engage in risky behaviour where he can get it from me.
I know this is not the ideal situation--trust me---this is not what I'd choose to do. I'd love to report this incident etc but my hands are tied and I cannot so in an effort to prevent exploding my own life further, I have to move forward with this as if it's been dormant in my system for all these years.
yes, I got the results from the specialist. HSV2 from the swab (and the blood test is negative, as I told you before).
This was a devastating blow. The doctor and I stayed on the phone for a long time talking about my feelings about this, how to move forward from it, what to do, etc.
So, I still have symptoms, despite being on 5 days of Valtrex (I just finished it on Friday-it's Saturday now). I don't think I"m getting any new sores but the ones that are there are still burning, not a lot of new itching but still itching, still having the nerve burning on vulva, clitoris, swelling, itching, zaping feelings in bum and legs. Told this all to the doctor who said that the outbreak will never be this bad as this first one. He will continue to see me and I have to go to him again for an appointment to talk about what to do. He usually recommends first to see how many outbreaks a person has before recommending suppressive therapy (ie daily Valtrex or other meds) so that's where he is with medication.
As far as telling my partner, on Monday (the day after tomorrow) is the day I have to meet the local doctor who only took a swab (no bloods--remember I said they don't routinely do bloods here at regular GUM clinics/GPs, etc) for the results. I think what I've decided to do is go to that appointment, get those results as a confirmation (though I'm sure this is what I have) and then share the results from just a swab with my partner. This can be perceived as something that I've had for years in a dormant state for years and only come out now in menopause as per this article, which is common enough: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/bluntmoms/sti-herpes-menopause_b_7343630.html
My partner will not need to know I had a blood test that says that I have no antibodies (ie I have not been exposed so this is a new exposure as tested by the swab of a sore) and I can present the case as seen in the Huff Po article. This is obviously not true and the guilt from lying to him is overwhelming, however, telling him the truth at this juncture of our lives would do serious damage to our relationship and would not change the outcome. In other words, I will still take the same precautions to protect both of our health statuses; I cannot do anything to address this criminally abroad; my partner would likely be unable to overcome his feelings of anger, disgust and rage if I tell him what actually happened and this could destroy a very good happy family. This would do no good to anyone--and only hurt me further. Even if he goes to get tested locally, they will only test him if he is symptomatic with a sore, which if we are careful, he won't be--as I will not engage in risky behaviour where he can get it from me.
I know this is not the ideal situation--trust me---this is not what I'd choose to do. I'd love to report this incident etc but my hands are tied and I cannot so in an effort to prevent exploding my own life further, I have to move forward with this as if it's been dormant in my system for all these years.
My friend, I am so sorry. I know that you fell all the signs are pointing to this but to get that diagnosis, definitely is overwhelming. I’m glad that the specialist still going to see you. He is the perfect person to go to for questions and to see exactly what it is you Will need to do to help with potential outbreaks and to keep your partner safe. Obviously, this isn’t what you wanted. Especially considering the circumstances. But even with this reality, you know now what you’re dealing with. A big question has been answered.
Let’s talk first about your current symptoms. Since you’re still experiencing burning and discomfort, might I suggest you get some diaper rash cream and maybe some type of unscented powder to put down there. That will help dry up the sores and provide a more cooling affect for comfort. Another good thing to use, would be coconut oil. If you Can find some at a local grocer, it wouldn’t hurt to pick that up and just put a little bit in your palm and let it melt and apply at during the day. Or even at night. Coconut oil has those antibacterial properties which will help preventing any further infection or bacteria.
I totally understand and respect your decision on how to approach this with your partner. I know you don’t wanna lie. But I also understand sometimes we have to do things to protect ourselves and protect those around us. It’s never ideal, there would never be an ideal way to share this. As much as it angers you that this son of a ***** took advantage, We don’t know all the details of that night. And yes pre-menopausal women do sometimes find out about an infection when entering that stage. As disheartened as you may feel right now, I promise and I mean it, you will get through this and come out the other side okay. You aren’t the same person but the new normal can and will be just as strong and wonderful and sane and successful as you were before this.
Let me suggest the Honeycomb herpes forum. You can google it. It’s a great group (60K+ members strong) and lots of people to support, provide tips and positive inspiration. It’s also completely anonymous. It will reinforce how common what you are experiencing is.
And there is me...I am here to help in anyway I can. The mod of this forum is feelingundone. He has been away for a while but he will be back and he can always provide a wealth of knowledge and support.
This might sound very silly, but I hope you have found some emotional relief in knowing. I’ve said it before and it’s so true, the unknown as hell. Knowing what you’re dealing with and knowing what to do moving forward, gives the power right to you.
I’m very sorry because this is not the result that you wanted. I was very hopeful to. But now the hope has turned to the reality and there is a new type of hope. That your specialist will be able to make this something that you just have to deal with, just a condition that you have. You aren’t HSV. It doesn’t define you in anyway.
I am sending you good karma and a big hug from across the pond.
Let’s talk first about your current symptoms. Since you’re still experiencing burning and discomfort, might I suggest you get some diaper rash cream and maybe some type of unscented powder to put down there. That will help dry up the sores and provide a more cooling affect for comfort. Another good thing to use, would be coconut oil. If you Can find some at a local grocer, it wouldn’t hurt to pick that up and just put a little bit in your palm and let it melt and apply at during the day. Or even at night. Coconut oil has those antibacterial properties which will help preventing any further infection or bacteria.
I totally understand and respect your decision on how to approach this with your partner. I know you don’t wanna lie. But I also understand sometimes we have to do things to protect ourselves and protect those around us. It’s never ideal, there would never be an ideal way to share this. As much as it angers you that this son of a ***** took advantage, We don’t know all the details of that night. And yes pre-menopausal women do sometimes find out about an infection when entering that stage. As disheartened as you may feel right now, I promise and I mean it, you will get through this and come out the other side okay. You aren’t the same person but the new normal can and will be just as strong and wonderful and sane and successful as you were before this.
Let me suggest the Honeycomb herpes forum. You can google it. It’s a great group (60K+ members strong) and lots of people to support, provide tips and positive inspiration. It’s also completely anonymous. It will reinforce how common what you are experiencing is.
And there is me...I am here to help in anyway I can. The mod of this forum is feelingundone. He has been away for a while but he will be back and he can always provide a wealth of knowledge and support.
This might sound very silly, but I hope you have found some emotional relief in knowing. I’ve said it before and it’s so true, the unknown as hell. Knowing what you’re dealing with and knowing what to do moving forward, gives the power right to you.
I’m very sorry because this is not the result that you wanted. I was very hopeful to. But now the hope has turned to the reality and there is a new type of hope. That your specialist will be able to make this something that you just have to deal with, just a condition that you have. You aren’t HSV. It doesn’t define you in anyway.
I am sending you good karma and a big hug from across the pond.
First let me send you my thoughts and prayers. No judgement here. You make the decision that is right for you.! I assume that sex happened? I really feel like I digging in personally here but if there was an exposure, anything you can share about it would help guide the answer.
Protected or unprotected intercorse?
Oral performed on you?
If you are not sure of what totally occurred, that’s okay.
With these two scenarios, hsv becomes a possibility. Anything outside of this, not so much.
While at the clinic, did you receive a blood test? An IgG test? It might be good to get this as a baseline test. With new hsv infections,
It can take up-to 12-16 weeks to build detectable antibodies. I am glad they swabbed the area though swabs can present a false negative if the area or sore was in the process of healing. I have to admit, from reading again, that you got a swab but was it a pcr swab or a viral culture? I ask because you said it will be two weeks for results and PCR swabs are usually only 3-4 days and they are also far, far more sensitive. You may want to check with them. BV can certainly cause all of these issues, usually punctuated with a strong discharge. If the antibiotics bring quick relief, then that is a good sign. I know it’s so hard to not panic. I know it’s scary and you have been through a lot. May I suggest a warm bath with some epson salt, it may help sooth your genitals. And breathe. You are going to be okay.
Protected or unprotected intercorse?
Oral performed on you?
If you are not sure of what totally occurred, that’s okay.
With these two scenarios, hsv becomes a possibility. Anything outside of this, not so much.
While at the clinic, did you receive a blood test? An IgG test? It might be good to get this as a baseline test. With new hsv infections,
It can take up-to 12-16 weeks to build detectable antibodies. I am glad they swabbed the area though swabs can present a false negative if the area or sore was in the process of healing. I have to admit, from reading again, that you got a swab but was it a pcr swab or a viral culture? I ask because you said it will be two weeks for results and PCR swabs are usually only 3-4 days and they are also far, far more sensitive. You may want to check with them. BV can certainly cause all of these issues, usually punctuated with a strong discharge. If the antibiotics bring quick relief, then that is a good sign. I know it’s so hard to not panic. I know it’s scary and you have been through a lot. May I suggest a warm bath with some epson salt, it may help sooth your genitals. And breathe. You are going to be okay.
11 Comments
TooHip1973: Thanks so much...to be honest, I cried the whole way through the exam and consultation. I didn't go to my usual GP for obvious reasons so the whole experience was traumatic in the extreme. To try to answer your questions now:
1. I don't suspect that if I had vaginal intercourse there was any ejaculate inside me as I was not soggy down below upon standing up. As I said, there was a definite window of time that this event occurred within; I recall being tipsy, then not feeling great then leaving and being walked to my room by the person (who I had no reason to suspect was dangerous) and then I recall waking up with a banging headache and throwing up in the bin beside the bed. I was wearing my top from the night before and nothing else. So, was a condom used or ?? I don't know...for reasons that are probably too self-identifying all sexual intercourse (manual and with a penis) are pretty sore and I'd had both with my partner 2 days prior and was still a bit tender from that.
2. I don't know about oral. I can't see me performing it in any way as I don't recall anything at all and woke up throwing up. Based on my vague time line, I suspect there was bout a 5 hour time period I don't know what happened.
3. I don't know about the swab and 2 week timeframe. No blood tests were taken. I was gently reassured it didn't look or present like typical herpes but being that I was in a very delicate and at times distraught state of mine I'm not sure they were being honest with me. I am reading up on the blood tests vs types of swabs now.
To be honest, I was waiting the 2 weeks as I thought from my previous research anything sinister took 2 weeks to show up. The watery discharge etc and BV was the least of my worries ... I know it's unpleasant but given what it might be and the other horrors I am imagining.
The doctor suggested I ask the person what happened which is something I'm considering doing but I do fear the consequences if I do. I wish I could say more but I cannot in a pubic forum.
Thanks for listening...so I understood that actually 2 weeks was the optimal time to test for Herpes 2. Is that not the case? I have an appt to get the results in person in 2 weeks from today.
1. I don't suspect that if I had vaginal intercourse there was any ejaculate inside me as I was not soggy down below upon standing up. As I said, there was a definite window of time that this event occurred within; I recall being tipsy, then not feeling great then leaving and being walked to my room by the person (who I had no reason to suspect was dangerous) and then I recall waking up with a banging headache and throwing up in the bin beside the bed. I was wearing my top from the night before and nothing else. So, was a condom used or ?? I don't know...for reasons that are probably too self-identifying all sexual intercourse (manual and with a penis) are pretty sore and I'd had both with my partner 2 days prior and was still a bit tender from that.
2. I don't know about oral. I can't see me performing it in any way as I don't recall anything at all and woke up throwing up. Based on my vague time line, I suspect there was bout a 5 hour time period I don't know what happened.
3. I don't know about the swab and 2 week timeframe. No blood tests were taken. I was gently reassured it didn't look or present like typical herpes but being that I was in a very delicate and at times distraught state of mine I'm not sure they were being honest with me. I am reading up on the blood tests vs types of swabs now.
To be honest, I was waiting the 2 weeks as I thought from my previous research anything sinister took 2 weeks to show up. The watery discharge etc and BV was the least of my worries ... I know it's unpleasant but given what it might be and the other horrors I am imagining.
The doctor suggested I ask the person what happened which is something I'm considering doing but I do fear the consequences if I do. I wish I could say more but I cannot in a pubic forum.
Thanks for listening...so I understood that actually 2 weeks was the optimal time to test for Herpes 2. Is that not the case? I have an appt to get the results in person in 2 weeks from today.
TooHip1973: I also wanted to say, I'm pretty sure something did happen. I just don't know what. I genuinely don't remember. If I was passing out, I'd do so fully dressed or take off all most clothes. I would not take off my bottom half, my bra and leave my top on. I just wouldn't. Also the bed was mussed up in a way that I didn't just pass out in it. :(
Also, the doctor said you can get BV from over washing, or washing too vigorously which is what I did in the shower the morning after. :/ I've never actually been so ill in my life.
Okay...thanks for the furthe details. I am going to give you the same advice that you already received. Ask him. It doesn’t have to be panicked or accusatory. A simple, “wow I must’ve drank too much...what happened that night?”. I know it’s easier said than done but playing it off like it’s kind of humerous, will make it a relaxed conversation and won’t put him on the defensive. You are not the first to have been in this position of not knowing or having to try and recall things that had happened. I know none of this is comfortable lbut to get answers, you will need to ask questions.
Hsv scab testing is don’t from active sores/lesions. The hsv blood tests take a certain amount of time after a possible exposure to build antibodies. So when I mentioned baseline testing, I was talking about seeing your status now and then seeing it after a couple months. If you go from negative to positive, then you can deduct that you caught herpes. But we are putting the cart before the horse. We don’t know yet what happened. I think this is where you need to start. A lot can come clearer after this.
Hsv scab testing is don’t from active sores/lesions. The hsv blood tests take a certain amount of time after a possible exposure to build antibodies. So when I mentioned baseline testing, I was talking about seeing your status now and then seeing it after a couple months. If you go from negative to positive, then you can deduct that you caught herpes. But we are putting the cart before the horse. We don’t know yet what happened. I think this is where you need to start. A lot can come clearer after this.
Just want to add about the 2 weeks thing. Yes, if you are going to have an initial outbreak (some people don’t or have outbreaks so mild, they overlook them), it would happen on average between 3 - 10 days.
Thanks so much...yes, I understand what you're saying. We don't actually speak the same language so that can be a bit complicated but I will consider this. She did swab what she thought was an active lesion (like I said she said it didn't present as what looked like a herpes lesion) ...but I see what you mean about a baseline test. I have the option of going to the public health centre for STIs in the public hospital but living in a fishbowl here. :/ Might consider going to another city to do this. I can refrain from sex with my partner until I'm clear on what my status is. When should I test again on a blood test? And at which point will the test be clear?
By the way, I seriously doubt if the person will tell me the truth about what happened as they are very very junior in terms of status and position to me and would be unlikely to risk admitting this openly. I feel like my hands are tied being that I'm no longer in the country where the incident happened, don't speak the language of that country and there are some cultural issues at play that make it unlikely i would be given the truth.
Thank you so much for this. I have no one else to talk to.
By the way, I seriously doubt if the person will tell me the truth about what happened as they are very very junior in terms of status and position to me and would be unlikely to risk admitting this openly. I feel like my hands are tied being that I'm no longer in the country where the incident happened, don't speak the language of that country and there are some cultural issues at play that make it unlikely i would be given the truth.
Thank you so much for this. I have no one else to talk to.
I’ll respond more fully when I have more time, but I’m heading on the road shortly and will be tied up for a couple of hours. But I wanted to let you know about the test. There are websites you can go to an order anonymous STD testing. One is called STD check.com, I believe that’s the website. You can order the test right from there and you will go to one of the laboratory said they use, usually a quest laboratory or lab core laboratories, and you can have a blood draw there. It’s anonymous you get your results in three or four days and you’ll be able to receive them by a special code that you will check up online. This might save you a lot of hassle and be able to avoid anyone knowing . If you are in a very small town, and not near a larger city that has these laboratories, you could always check with the general practitioner. I think you need baseline testing immediately. Try and get this done in the next couple of days to a week. That will give you an idea of where you stand right now. And then let’s see what the doctor says with the other test you had done. I’ll reply more in a little bit.
Wanted to add, that depending on with the swab test tells you, if it’s HSV or not, then you can decide on further testing. I don’t think that this is HSV. Just from what you’ve told me. The unknown is the hardest part, so you’re doing the right thing by checking all your bases. I know this is hard and frustrating.
TooHip1973 thanks so much for answering comprehensively and taking the time to help me. It means so much to me. I slept a fitful few hours and was so distressed I'm now awake at dawn and not sure how I can make it. I researched an STI clinic in the capital city of the country where I live which is free but I don't think they do blood tests for herpes; they all seem to do swabs and examinations only but I should do a full screen STI anyway; frankly, I'm not sure why the doctor didn't do it yesterday---probably because it was too soon after the interaction to test which is why she's given me an appt for 2 weeks time which will be about 2 weeks + 10 days after (possible/probable) infection.
You can make it and you can get through this! I know you can! One step at a time. I know this is scary and frustrating and the unknown is a terrible feeling but you’re doing everything that you possibly can to make sure that you’re OK. No matter what happens the most important part is that you’re taking care of yourself. Maybe look around and see if there are smaller labs that offer testing. Enter the name of the capital city into a search, and add STD testing. Unless this is some Third World country , there has to be a place where you can have the appropriate testing performed. I totally understand what you said about the language barrier with this gentleman. And I totally got the work connection, and how that might make things very very difficult. But if you can find any way to communicate with him, I think that that might give you some peace of mind. I know that’s tough, and I know you’re scared. It’s OK to feel all these things. What you doing right now is stressing and that’s the worst thing you can do for your body. That just amplifies everything you’re feeling. Take a deep breath. What you can do right now, in the immediate, if you can’t find a place to get an IgG test, try and be patient. I know that’s hard. But once you get the results of the swab test you will know which direction you need to MoveOn. It would not be surprising in the least if this was a horrendous bacterial infection. Discharge, swelling, discomfort, all those things can easily happen in a vagina. That damn vagina is so delicate and sensitive.
Take a deep breath and check into private clinics. See if there is anything in the area. IgG testing isn’t rare or unheard of, so if this is a fairly modern capital city, I am sure there has to be a place that performs it.
I wish I had some magic words to help bring you some peace but know that I am pulling for you. How are you feeling physically? Have the antibiotics helped?
Take a deep breath and check into private clinics. See if there is anything in the area. IgG testing isn’t rare or unheard of, so if this is a fairly modern capital city, I am sure there has to be a place that performs it.
I wish I had some magic words to help bring you some peace but know that I am pulling for you. How are you feeling physically? Have the antibiotics helped?
You're so good...I can't tell you how much it means to me everytime you post back to me. It's a lifeline for me at the moment.I took your advice and contacted the expert in this country. Where I live they do not do any blood testing for Herpes. They just don't. Even privately. I have no idea why. i contacted the national expert on STIs. This doctor works in the public system but also works privately in his own clinic in the capital. He agreed to see me on an emergency basis tomorrow after I rang him today. He is the foremost expert on all things STI in this country. He was suprised that the clinic I went to didn't do any blood work at all (for any other STIs other than Herpes) so he's goign to do a full screen tomorrow and from what I have read on message boards from others who have gone to him he's very thorough and has equipment in his office privately to give some results immediately on the same day (microscope, some testing results while you wait) but I assume the swab for HV2 will still have to wait. I've had 3 doses of Flagyl and so far only a mild improvement of the symptoms of BV.
I'm realy trying to be hopeful.
Tomorrow he'll do bloodwork for other STIs, look at the bump/thing the doctor swabbed yesterday and do his own assessment. He was hesitant to make any comments on the phone which I suppose is professional. I'm so nervous but it's good to be going to an expert.
I'll come back and post when I've more info.
I'm realy trying to be hopeful.
Tomorrow he'll do bloodwork for other STIs, look at the bump/thing the doctor swabbed yesterday and do his own assessment. He was hesitant to make any comments on the phone which I suppose is professional. I'm so nervous but it's good to be going to an expert.
I'll come back and post when I've more info.
Sorry, I'm very confused...it's not 16 days at all....it's 10 days. I can't find a way to edit this post.
This discussion was closed by the MedHelp Community Moderation team. If you have any questions please
contact us.
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
