Emergency Help Please

[Marquita620]

I am 61 y/o and so is my boyfriend. I have HSV-2 but he doesn't. I haven't had an outbreak in years however I do take Valtrex as condoms don't work for us due to variations in staying hard for him. My boyfriend came into town on Saturday and we spent about twenty hours in bed having actual energetic intercourse four times with a lot of genital closeness and touching in between. As he was leaving I noticed that I was having prodome sensations that I hadn't noticed earlier. This must've been because I was distracted and having many other genital sensations. By today the prodome is very pronounced though I haven't had sores yet, maybe because of the Valtrex. I'm scared to death I have spread it to him. What do you think that chances are that I have????

[gracefromHHP]

if you two want to use condoms, try female condoms. He doesn't have to maintain an erection to use those.

to answer your previous question I missed, no, valtrex doesn't reduce the viral shedding of active lesions.

[Marquita620]

Hooray!!! 20 days have passed and he didn't get herpes. I have certainly learned my lesson and at least now he knows about it. He seems okay with it. He still can't wear condoms. He's older and sometimes maintaining an erection can be difficult. Thanks everyone for all your help. I was on pins and needles.

[Mistakeguy789]

The thing about someone having a great immune system isn't really the problem.  The person's immune system is what fights an infection but only if it knows how to fight it.  Its like when a person gets a vacine.  It is effective against the infection because the immune system knows how to fight it. In Herpes that isn't always the case as the immune system takes time to build up the fight against it and by that time it has already taken hold in the nerves.

Is there a risk?  The answer is yes.  Can we say with any confidence that it is at a certain percentage not really.  A risk from a one time encounter is considered low risk.  But when you know that the prodome is present it does complicate things. The question that comes is was this in response to the friction from sex or what.  

No way to really know at this stage what if any transmission happened.  Best thing is to talk to him.  If he has symptoms have him be seen within 24-48hrs.  If nothing happens in the 2-20 day window he can consider himself lucky.  If he is fearful he can test accurately at 12 weeks from this encounter.

Daily therapy does reduce the virial shedding.  I don't believe it has much effect on the prodome because by the time the prodome has come and started the virus is already active and so forth.  It does help with speeding up the outbreak heal time though.  

Talk to your partner at this point.  

[Marquita620]

Sorry, one more thing. He lives a very healthy lifestyle, exercises and takes mega vitamins everyday. He is never sick so I have to assume he has a very good immune system. Thanks so much.

[Marquita620]

BTW I was tested with a swab when I first got H, 25 years ago, with a positive result. Back then I had numerous outbreaks so I'm positive I have it. Also, does the Valtrex make the viral shedding any amount less during prodome? I know it is significantly higher and so is the risk but do the meds make it less than it would've been without them?

[Marquita620]

This question is actually for anyone and everyone that wants to answer. Is there any chance at all that I didn't transmit it to him? I know I have to tell him but I want to be able to tell him if there is any hope of him not getting it. Is there a percentage of liklihood of transmission?

[Mistakeguy789]

The thing is symptoms will show up but if he didn't know what to look for he may overlook them thinking they are something else.

Telling him now is better than not telling him.  Getting tested to know what each other has is also helpful.  

[Marquita620]

I have been on suppressive therapy for the last three months since our relationship began. At the time I thought that I wouldn't be contagious while taking it so I didn't tell him. I know now how irresponsible that was and I'm afraid to tell him now but I truly thought he would be safe. I thought that symptoms showed up by about up to 20 days and if they haven't then he wouldn't have it. Can they still appear after 3 or 4 months? If I have been on suppressive therapy does that make the virus shedding any less during the prodome period?

[bobrope45]

Having sex during the prodome phase is high risk, since there's a considerable amount of virus shedding from your genitals. Were you on suppressive therapy? At this point, there's no way of knowing what's gonna happen. =/

Does he know about your HSV2? Maybe talking to him about it would be a good idea, so he can cover his bases (get tested after 3-4 months) and keep an eye on symptoms.

[Marquita620]

It turns out it was herpes as the prodome area turned into a sore. It was in the same spot it always used to be.(I haven't had an ob in years) This means he had contact with the sore in it's prodome period. I increased my valtrex yesterday and it's almost gone. He had a lot of contact with me on sat and sun as there was repetitive intercourse and just genital to genital touching. What are the chances that he is going to get it? I'm scared to death that I gave it to him.

[gracefromHHP]

at this point, no way to know if this was your herpes or just irritation from the sex you had. up your valtrex to try to ward off a full blown ob if indeed it is one and go from there.

grace