I'm not an expert; however I had a herpes scare a couple of years ago. My advice to you would be to still tell both of them to get tested because MEN WILL LIE about getting tested, being clean, etc. Although neither of them had symptoms, you still probably caught it off of a healed herpes sore, as the infection was still active on the skin. I'm thinking that you probably caught it off the man you had sex with 9 days before, but again, I am no expert. I hope I helped out a little though.
Thanks for your advice. I am new to this site and so just realised there is a specific herpes forum so I reposted my question there as well. I will tell both of them. it sounds petty but a lot of my wanting to know is so I know who to be mad at and who to feel sorry for. Also just plain curiosity of which one of them has ruined my life :( i am only 22.
Your health is definitely NOT PETTY. You have every right to know who did this to you; believe me I was beyond mad when I thought I had it. However, It's not HIV,it can't kill you and there are plenty of medicines that will reduce breakouts and prevent you from giving it to someone else.
Have you been tested? I did not see any information regarding an actual test.